Swinging But Striking Out - How Do I Grow From This??

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Success Realty

OK, normally I write uplifting posts about "aha" moments to encourage my fellow real estate warriors but I have hit the Great Wall of NO this week!  Looking for your take on how to move forward because my gut tells me to change jobs & my heart is truly aching.

Incident number 1 - received a text of a new lead from my website.  Great!  I happened to be at my computer when I received the text so I logged in & called her.   I could tell she was truly stunned & as I was answering her question of what company I was with - she hung up on me.  Now my cynical side said "she hung on me" but my optimistic not-about-me side said "we may have been cut off so let me try again".  This time it went straight to voicemail so I left a brief message saying thanks for logging in & I looked forward to helping her find a home in Lake in the Hills.  She texts me some not nice things from "you're a shark", "you're annoying" & "I'm sorry I logged on to your stupid website" to more impolite things I won't share with you.  I responded that I was just trying to be responsive & she then threatened me with legal action if I didn't delete her information from my database.  OK, so much for that! 

Incident number 2 - received a referral for a seller, scheduled the listing appointment the next day, spent time in her home going over the market & the selling process as well as ways to prepare her home & herself.  Found out about her family & her plans once she sells this house.  Communicated a time to speak again & she seemed very grateful & excited about getting her house on the market ASAP.  I have called & not received any response so I look and - you guessed it - she listed with someone else yesterday.  This is not the first time I have not secured the listing but I thought it went so well it has just taken the wind out of my sails. 

So I'm looking for encouragement here.  What can I do to get better?  How do I grow from this?  What is to be learned from these occurrences?  Bring on October - September cannot end quickly enough for me! 

Posted by

With Many Thanks, 
Ivette Rodriguez Anderson, SFR
Keller Williams Success Realty
847/558-9735 direct
847/841-3345 fax

Check out www.ivettemovesyou.com for property search, market snapshot, newsletter & testimonials.
I Know How To Move You

Read my blog - Ivette Moves You
SFR - Short Sale & Foreclosure Resource


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Cookie Hooper
True Blue Realty - Arvada, CO
Real Estate Sales & Property Management

Dear Ivette,

The older I get, the ruder society seems to be.  I'm sorry for the week you've had. You're not alone in this boat.  My two nuggets of wisdom for you:

1- Remember this mantra (I have it posted above my desk)- "Rejection equals protection".  As some others have said, you dodged a bullet. 

2- It's ok to quit your job. Just come back to it the next day.  I can't count the number of afternoons I have announced to my Team, "That's it, I quit!  I am no longer a Realtor or Property Manager". Then I revel in the freedom for the rest of the day. I treat it like a mini retirement vacation. No thoughts or responsibility of work at all.  Then when I'm refreshed and ready, I jump back in.  That's what winning is all about- staying in the race when you want to lay down and cry.  Truly successful people keep running this race.  Of course, you don't win the marathon if you try to run at top speed all of the time.  Hold back a bit, stop and stretch, even quit for a brief moment, then get going again. 

You can do this thing.  You're stronger than you know! 

Oct 01, 2011 05:13 AM #20
Carrie Sampron
Home Smart Realty Group - Highlands Ranch, CO
ABR SFR & Kathy Sampron (303) 931-3629 Highlands R

Ivette: We've all been there and feel your pain. The first gal was nutty, though my sister and I are starting to think that applies to at least 50% of the population these days, yikes! The second, who knows why she made the decision she did, it hurts but you move on. Take a deep breath and power through. Carrie

Oct 01, 2011 05:50 AM #21
The Derrick Team - Indy Metro Realtors
Carpenter Realtors - Avon, IN
Your Pet Friendly Realtors

Thick skin can be a requirement with dealing with the public in any job. Our broker always says "Move on".

Oct 01, 2011 05:56 AM #22
Jeff Hollister
Native Californian with 20 years serving OC Buyers & Sellers - San Clemente, CA
Real Estate Broker, Serving Orange County, CA


Tip for avoiding situation #1 - Study how to handle internet leads via Mike (Mr Internet) Russer's website called OnlineDominance.com.

Tip for avoiding situation #2 - Always try to be the first agent to present to sellers. Then eliminate the competition by showing the seller that YOU ARE THE ONE to do the job with your listing presentation.

I'm sure these tips will help you; but only if you are willing to do them!

Oct 01, 2011 05:57 AM #23

I totally agree with comment no. 14.  One of these incidents is tough all by itself, but when you get two of those in a row it could be a bit debilitating.  You need to hang in there, get back up on that horse and start riding again.  This is a brutal business sometimes.  You have to be tough to survive.

Oct 01, 2011 06:01 AM #24
Steven Pahl
Keller Williams Tampa Properties - Tampa, FL
Real Estate Consultant Tampa, FL 813-319-6423

The answer is simply, "next" and move on.  There will always be moments in this and every business where we just want to scream and quit,  But we move on becasue there are many people out there that truly want and need our assistance!  Best wishes into the future!

Oct 01, 2011 06:41 AM #25
Cynthia Larsen
Cotati, CA
Independent Broker In Sonoma County, CA

People get freaked if you respond to internet leads too quickly. If I get a lead from my web site and I'm at my computer, I wait 10 minutes before I contact them. We all have weeks like the one you just had, you just have to shake it off and start anew.

Oct 01, 2011 09:14 AM #26
Valerie Sullivan
Sullivan Enterprises, LLC - Fort Walton Beach, FL


It's tough when you get multiple slaps in the face.  It's taken me many years to realize that what other people do TO me, have NOTHING to do WITH me.  It is THEIR issue/problem.  Scenario #1 was a little creepy - that she asked for information and freaked out when she got it - and wasn't so nice about it.  But look at it this way...maybe she was beginning research in the process of ending a bad relationship...and couldn't talk honestly....she's protecting herself and responding based on what is going on in HER life.  She doesn't care about you/yours. I know, just one scenario, but a different perspective.  I've had weeks/months like yours.  It's been easier since I realized that their reaction is not about me.  I do my best and move on.  You did your best, realize it is NOT about you (this is where that growing thing comes in! LOL), and move on.  Good Luck!

Oct 01, 2011 09:43 AM #27
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

OK, at the risk of having people think I'm some kind of a woo-woo nut, I'll share what I do when confronted with a situation such as those you've endured this week...

Stop everything. Take a deep breath, let out a big sigh and at the same time, look up. As in, turn your eyes toward the heavens. Do it 3 or 4 or even 6 or 8 times. In about 10 minutes, you'll realize that you aren't feeling bugged by this any more.

Then just let it go and move on.

There are nut cases in the world. You don't need to let them control your feelings.

Oct 01, 2011 11:13 AM #28
Nathan Tutas
Tutas Towne Realty, Inc. - Davenport, FL
Your Central Florida Real Estate Expert

I agree with everyone. It definitely isn't you. You can't change what you can't control. If you honestly feel like you did a good job in that listing appointment and you can't see any other way you could have improved then just move on. It's a nature of the beast kind of thing. As far as the 1st scenario goes, some people are assholes, plain and simple. I personally had a very very bad experience with an agent at Exit realty a long time ago and held it against that company for many years without realizing I should have blamed the agent involved. Now I know better but at the time I just knew I wasn't about to deal with them again. That could be the case with the first lady you mentioned.

Oct 01, 2011 11:49 AM #29
Corianne Fugate
R.W. Price and Associates - Monroe, NC


My entire month of September has been exactly as described! You haven't done anything wrong...the rest of the world is tilted that's all. I too have thought of finding another job - but, I just can't let go - I love this career even though it has been a tough year. Things will be better next week! I say this to you and me!!

Oct 01, 2011 12:33 PM #30
Kathy Schowe
California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA
La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

Hang in there... and tell yourself.. "NEXT"!  Move on and don't dwell on the ones that don't work out.  You have to make X number of contacts or have X number of real estate "conversations" before you make a sale.  These were just 2 that moved you closer to the next big "YES"!  Good luck and keep your chin up!  Kathy

Oct 01, 2011 01:48 PM #31
Dagny Eason
Dagny's Real Estate - Wilton, CT
Fairfield County CT, CDPE Homes For Sale and Condo

So true that you go through about 50 "prospects" before you get one that follows through nicely and delightfully all the way to the end.   

My whole last two weeks have been a technology disaster - the only two things that have worked smoothly are my iPad(new) and my blackberry.   My Mac, my HP PC, and my printers have been total disaster, and so has my web site.  Somehow i will get through it all, and maybe have some fabulous equipment by next week.  I have not had a printer for two weeks now.   Crazy!   But, head is up - I'm going to be better for it i am sure! 

So will you! 

My husband alway says, "Dark before the dawn!"    and he's always right!

Oct 01, 2011 02:15 PM #32
Rick Lindemulder
Coldwell Banker Bain - Duvall, WA

I agree with Doug. These probably were not the kind of people you wanted to work with. You may have just been saved from some real nonproductive frustration.  On to better things.

Oct 01, 2011 02:48 PM #33
Dörte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Ivette,

Neither of these prospects would have made good clients for you. People like that usually have friends like them. Could you imagine being condemmed to working with such people and their referrals for the rest of your career? Whew! Many people instinctively reject you, because they categorically would not work with a curlytop like you or a redhead like me. No sweat, there are so many nice people out there that will like you, that you do not have to bother with the folks, who do not like you for whatever reason.

Oct 01, 2011 04:20 PM #34
Lynn B. Friedman
Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty Call/Text 404-939-2727 Buckhead - Midtown - Westside -- and more ... - Atlanta, GA
Concierge Service for Our Atlanta Sellers & Buyers

Dear Ivette -
After reading the comments, I had to make one more!  WONDERFUL COMMENT BY D.Engel (#34) who says:
Neither of these prospects would have made good clients for you. People like that usually have friends like them. Could you imagine being condemmed to working with such people and their referrals for the rest of your career? Whew!

Have a happy day -

Oct 01, 2011 05:37 PM #35
Barbara Le Pine
Advantage Real Estate, serving Lincoln County - Newport, OR
Your agent for the Central Oregon Coast!

If you are upset about two leads then you may not be generating enough of them. I suggest that you get off your computer and go golfing, talk to people, swimming, say hi to the person in the next lane, dancing, bike riding, stop for a drink at a coffe place, say hi to someone, bowling, fishing, walking, cleaning up trash in your neighborhood, maybe even try some good old fashioned door knocking with a friend in tow for safety and hand out a promotional item. Talk about real estate and hand out at least 15 cards tomorrow. You will not worry about two little irritating leads as you will be busy answering the phone with referrals from the people you have met while out golfing, swimming, biking, dancing...........Have a great real estate day tomorrow! Have fun! :)

Oct 01, 2011 08:06 PM #37
Holly Weatherwax
Associate Broker, Momentum Realty - Reston, VA
A Great Real Estate Experience

Some days (and weeks) are just like that. It is not about you but about them being indecisive, deceptive or insecure. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and know that most people are kind and respectful of our time.

Tomorrow starts a new week...I hope it is a great one.

Oct 02, 2011 10:13 AM #38
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

Move on.  Guys say this all the time, but it is true this time.  It is not you - it is them.  Find success with people who want your help.  

Oct 03, 2011 11:53 AM #39
Ivette Rodriguez Anderson
Keller Williams Success Realty - Lake in the Hills, IL

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!  I am overwhelmed by the love & productive feedback to this post.  I had a listing appointment this weekend & got right back in the swing of things.  I am confident that without your positive & valuable comments I may have been less than confident.  I am grateful to each of you for your comments & for reminding me of what I already know - I cannot control others, just my reactions. 

Have an awesome day & a killer week & know you have a friend & partner in Chicagoland!! 

Oct 04, 2011 03:23 AM #40
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