"JUST LET IT GO"....The Most Important TIP You Can Ever get!

By
Real Estate Agent with Douglas Elliman Real Estate 30HA0800896

"JUST LET IT GO!""JUST LET IT GO"...The most important TIP you can ever get!

I can't explain why it works but "Just Let It Go" does have the recognition of being the one thing you can do in real estate to give yourself some control over a very difficult situation.

Just recently, I have had situations that were impossible to bring to fruition. These have prompted me to write this post---hoping that it would open a dialog between all of us here on ActiveRain....Just how do we deal with the impossible mission of these circumstances???

What I have found is: If you "JUST LET IT GO!" you will have the upper hand. Believe me, you will NOT lose real customers and clients; by letting go, you may even have a chance to convert the " disaster" to an actual sale---but you must, must, must learn to "JUST LET IT GO!"

I am speaking of the times we are confronted in this business with a situation where there is nothing that you can do to make deal happen or  to get a particular listing at the right price.

A FEW OF MY OWN PROBLEMS:

  • My office-mate has a new listing that is in a prime location and I had a call on one of my own listings and wanted to take the buyer to see this one as well.....No way would this agent open the house for me, nor would she let me show it without her.  I had driven my customer by it and she was dying to get in. I found out later that there was no reason the agent could not let me show the house except that she just didn't want to be bothered to open the house right then (it was a holiday morning). I never did get to show the buyer that house---she was working with other agents and when I tried to register her with the listing agent, I was told: "I never register the names of buyers on my listings"...she was obviously not going to protect me in this situation.  After an angry response at me for even asking,  I had to give up and "JUST LET IT GO!".
  • Another buyer was making the rounds of agents--insisting that she see each house with the listing agent, thinking that she was going to get a better deal that way. I explained how a co-broke worked and she said she knew. I even told her that she may not get to see "open" listings this way, since there is no listing agent per se'. No matter how I pressed her, she was not going to go to see other houses with me--even after I told her that as her "buyers" agent I was going to be able to work on her behalf as the listing agents may not. She was going to work with listing agents only, no matter what! I had to work very hard on that one to "JUST LET IT GO!".
  • Another agent who pitched a listing that I was pitching too, called me when she heard that the owner was talking to me as well. I told her that I did not give out information about my business and she had no right to try to interfere with my work in any way. She told me that she had to get that particular listing because she lived next door and she was the "expert" on that street! I declined to engage in any further conversations with her and hung up. Later I called the owner to give him the comps that he had asked me for and he told me that he had decided to go with another agent--when I asked who, he gave me the agents name. It was the agent who had called me and I asked him if he was the one who told her he was talking to me too...he said yes. I suggested to him that it was not fair that he told her he was talking to me. I told him that she had called me to try to intimidate me into giving up the pitch. It put me in an awkward position and I told him that I viewed that as "undermining" me and my ability to show him that I was the better qualified agent to handle his property. He was unmoved...I had to "JUST LET IT GO!" again!!!
  • Another incident occurred when I had taken a listing at a certain commission % and the agreement was signed at that amount. After I pulled a deal together, got an accepted offer with another agent bringing the buyer, it was going to contract and the seller told me he was not going to pay the agreed to amount because he did not like the price we got for him...I told the selling agent and she agreed to the "new" commission in spite of the fact there was a signed agreement at the original percentage...She was insistent that we take the lower commission! Two against one and I lost any persuasive effect I could bring to bear on the deal....I  had to "JUST LET IT GO!" AGAIN!

TUG OF WAR IS NOT FUN--JUST LET GO!!!These are just a few of the real experiences I have had where I HAD to let go of a buyer, a seller, a deal and even money that I needed very badly!

In certain instances, I learned that by letting a situation go--as in a tug of war--I was able to dis empower the other party and by doing that they were able to see from a very different vantage point...from the ground to which they fell. The situation suddenly changed and the deal came together! 

You can't always win so it is better if you can learn the clues that will give you the advantage and help you NOT waste your precious time!

After many years of experience, I have been able to identify the very first clues that come forth to let you know that you are getting nowhere with a buyer, a seller. or an agent.

 

MAJOR CLUES:

  1. Lots of phone use and interruption while you are working with someone.
  2. Appointments not kept--late by more than 1 hour
  3. No reply to emails or phone calls
  4. Buyer working with many other agents
  5. Wants to buy at an unrealistic priced property in a prime area
  6. A seller who insists on an unrealistic price  for his/her property, knowing that it is too high
  7. An agent who will not allow showings on short notice, regardless, even when you have a well qualified buyer

Here again, these are variations on a theme for the "Clues", but you  get the idea.

A buyer who meets you an hour late and remains on their cell phone throughout the showings is likely to be a big waste of time---no way can you get the key points of the property across to the buyer; why? because they really have no interest anyway!! They are time-wasters of the first order!!

A listing agent who refuses to show a listing with short notice, will often be the sort that will not allow you to  show aLISTING AGREEMENTS CAN AND DO CHANGE WITH CERTAIN OWNERS house without them too. It does not matter if you have years of experience in the business; this kind of agent has promised a seller she will be the only one to attend all showings, just to get the listing---more often than not she is the one to sell the property too!

COMMISSIONS ARE ALWAYS NEGOTIABLE, at least that is what I was always taught...And you as an agent can say "no" to a certain request from a seller! In this market, you would think that the sellers are willing to  pay for the hard work and due dilligence that we do for them--NOT! In my experience, there are those sellers who can not get it into their heads that the real estate market has changed and that it is no longer to a sellers advantage to make unreasonable demands from agents or buyers---but they still do!!!

No one has ever bought a property when they have made a request for a price point in an area that commands a much higher one!---You can drive yourself crazy looking, but I have found that nothing you show them or tell them about is going to fill the bill.  They are not buyers so they have safely tucked themselves behind a price point that they have figured out will rarely be met! This kind of person has it firmly planted in their brain that they will eventually get the house of their dreams for 1/2 (or more) of what it is worth. They may not even be aware that they are engaged in this kind of subterfuge, but I am here to tell you they are!! They are NOT buyers--just dreamers! After so many years of working with buyers who do this, I can see them coming now and I will give them a day or two of my time just to confirm that they are this sort of "lookie loo" and then it is over: "JUST LET IT GO!" 

Sometimes it helps to just VENT about it all!!!

What are some of the situations where you have learned to "Just let it go!"

WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE YOU HAD WHERE YOU HAD TO "JUST LET IT GO"???

DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUES THAT I MAY HAVE MISSED HERE???

 

 

 

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"Whacked"!!!
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Tags:
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just let it go
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Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Wendy: (I think that's who you are) I agree--it is important to give youself the "break" of letting something go so that it can be better dealt with. In the case of the things I mentiion here however, it is important to know that an option is to let it go completely, knowing it is just wasting your time.

Tammie: If we could see a list of the agents who have had to swallow hard and move on from these owners--it would run all the way around the world!!! Eventually, if enough agents have the courage to step away from these owners, they would see our point! Unfortunatley, too many agetns fall into the trap of taking these over priced listings and that is the end of the positive movement..

John: MY heart goes out you! There have been those times for me too and it is a killer! Here you spent all that time; you found them something, you may have even gotten an accepted offer and then BOOM! Nothing! It is so hard to handle those!

 

Oct 16, 2011 11:24 AM #14
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Jane: Thank you! it is the hardest thing for us because we count on getting paid only when all parties perform!!! It is really an unfair postion to be in when you look at all other professions is it not??? Even lawyers get paid even if  they don't win the case!

Thank you, Jeff--you know that it is the best way to deal with the sense of "loss"...sharing here on AR is the best thing since  sliced bread--it is such a basic need for this profession that I think if we do nothing else here but let each and everyone of our fellow members know that they can handle it--read this and read another post that covers the same or similar topic and it may not get easier but it gets less stressful to each of us as we do our day to day work. 

Oct 16, 2011 11:30 AM #15
Rainmaker
767,984
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

I'm glad you feel better after writing this post. I also had a hard day so I'm taking what you said to heart. There are so many times we are just not in control. We need to realize this and walk away before it consumes us.

Oct 16, 2011 12:08 PM #16
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Jill: You can say that again! If this post helps others to see the merit of "letting it go", then I have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. I hope it helps you get through your difficult day! By the way, there are so many things that we have to deal with, that once we learn to use the technique of letting it go when it isn't working I think we become more successful with the dealings that are working!

 

 

 

 

Oct 16, 2011 12:20 PM #17
Rainmaker
506,130
Ellen Caruso
Daniel Gale Sotheby's International Realty - Glen Head, NY

Paula, so true....stressing over a situation is no good for anyone. I am thankful that after I overreact, I see clearly and Let It Go! And sharing your experience with a supportive friend helps put things in perspective too!

Oct 16, 2011 01:47 PM #18
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Ellen: I agree--and sharing here on AR is always a good way to clear things out of your mind too. I find myself reading so many great posts here that guide me into another way of thinking or onto another idea about something and I feel so fortunate to have this venue!

Oct 16, 2011 02:18 PM #19
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Brett: I got a notice that you commented but I do not have the actual comment here---so sorry I can't reply to you! Must be a glitch in the AR system....

Oct 17, 2011 01:17 AM #20
Rainmaker
310,008
Carol-Ann Palmieri
RE/MAX Executive Realty, Al and Cal Realty Group - Franklin, MA
"Cal" the Real Estate Gal

Hi Paula.   I think we all try to make it happen for our Buyers and Sellers even when it appears they don't want to.  Do our best, recognize the clues and move on.  

Oct 17, 2011 01:30 AM #21
Ambassador
768,333
Charita Cadenhead
Keller Williams Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)

SOMETIMES you do have to let it go.  For me:  working with unrealistic buyers and sellers.....juts let it go.  Fire a buyer and/or seller when it is apparent that the relationship is strained......just let it go.

Without question Paula, you've got 'Tude and I'm featuring you in the group Bananatude.

Featured in Bananatude

Oct 17, 2011 02:59 AM #22
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Carol: It's good if you can do it--it is very hard to let go of something when you were so sure that it was going to mean a deal happening.

Charita: Thanks for the feature! I am using that as my byline right now---lots and lots of people sitting on the sidelines right now becaue they don't know what is coming down the pike..there is a differnece between those and the time-wasters!

Oct 17, 2011 07:01 AM #23
Rainmaker
136,152
Sherri Berry
Reliant Realty, Murfreesboro - Murfreesboro, TN
Murfreesboro TN Homes & Real Estate

Paula - life is so much more pleasant when we are able to just let it go!  Unfortantely, this takes LOTS of practice and can be hard to do!  I've had family use someone else to buy or sell their home and that really hurts - but you have to just let it go!  Thanks for the post!

Oct 17, 2011 08:22 AM #24
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Sherri: You are so right---Letting go of anything that you have held onto before is very hard to release. I agree that the practice of letting go in everyday life helps to find the strength to do it in your business...and by the way, I have had family and best friends do the same thing---funny thing about that is, there did not seem to be an internal struggle on the part of the family members and best friends who did not use me. It seemed to be an easy thing and almost a given that they would NOT use my services!! As lng as I live I will never understand how that happens!

Oct 17, 2011 11:58 AM #25
Rainmaker
535,355
Gay E. Rosen
Julia B. Fee Sotheby's International Realty - Larchmont, NY
As Real as Real Estate Gets!

Paula - I missed seeing your posts over the summer months... I now know that you were entertaining the same frustrations as myself.. and it just makes you too disheartened to write a post.. I think you encapsulated everything beautifully.. nice post.  and ditto.! I am trying to let something go now and it is hard...

Oct 17, 2011 12:53 PM #26
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Gay: Thank you Gay; I have been working on several things that are very difficult and I appreciate your recognition of that! Good luck to you with letting go of your "something"...

Oct 17, 2011 01:01 PM #27
Rainmaker
2,145,678
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Paula,

Applause! Applause! Applause!

Excellent post! You raise some very interesting points. Well written post my friend!

Patricia

Oct 17, 2011 09:40 PM #28
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Patricia: Thank you! I think we all need to be reminded even if we already know that we need to let go of something that is not working...I find myself falling into a situation--holding on for dear life as if it is my last chance to make a deal come together---it takes a lot of practice to make it second nature, does it not?

Oct 18, 2011 01:39 AM #29
Rainmaker
750,148
Jackie Connelly-Fornuff
Douglas Elliman Real Estate in Babylon NY - Babylon, NY
"Moving at The Speed of YOU!"

Hi Paula, it is hard to let go sometimes. I find it comes naturally. You are only human and remember you are a better person than your office-mate. I could go on about that but it won't do you any good.

Oct 19, 2011 12:01 AM #30
Rainmaker
500,719
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Jackie: I will say that when I hear the echo of her schreeching "you are CRAZY!!!" at the top of her lungs, I get the real message which is:" Just WHO is crazy here???" She yelled it twice at me after I had asked her to protect me in a deal by registering my buyer. Since she had refused to show the house I felt she could at least do that so I could show the buyer the following weekend---Nope! For some reason she did not want my buyer to see her exclusive with me--she blocked me every which way. By the way, according to our listing agreements, we are supposed to register ALL buyers who see the property so that the owner can see the list. It also protects ALL involved in showings for about 6  months in the event someone else gets the listing. I am still having trouble with this one as you can tell by reading this.

Oct 19, 2011 02:35 AM #31
Anonymous
Peter Michelbach

Paula -- this is so true! Thank you for coming forward. Always best to you and yours - Peter

Nov 05, 2011 01:41 AM #32
Rainmaker
1,544,583
Georgie Hunter R(S) 58089
Hawai'i Life Real Estate Brokers - Haiku, HI
Maui Real Estate sales and lifestyle info

How about buyers who come to Hawaii every year and look at properties with you, only as a means of writing off their travel expenses in the guise of being an investor.

Nov 17, 2011 09:16 AM #33
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Rainmaker
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Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA

...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons
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