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A Short Sale Agent Often Wonders Were You Lying Then or Are You Lying Now

By
Real Estate Agent with Elizabeth Anne Weintraub, Broker DRE #00697006

A home seller in Land Park asked me yesterday what I have learned in my life's journey thus far. That was an odd question. It was a question that can't be answered in one sentence. Well, I suppose I could have said: We're all gonna die. Or, that nothing matters half as much 5 years from now as you think it matters today. Or, even we all create our own reality. Which we do. We're 100% responsible for how we feel and think. If you're miserable, it's your own damn fault.

Instead I said I've learned to say NO without providing reasons to justify. Because NO is a powerful word all by its itty bitty self. It offends some people. Some people think NO is rude. There is nothing rude about NO. See, that's the thing. NO is perfectly innocent. It's harmless. You don't even have to say, "sorry" NO. Just say NO. And I am not a fan of Reagan.

Sometimes you don't want to say NO, though, because you're concerned about the consequences. Circumstances are not always black and white, sometimes they are gray, a cat-and-mouse game, especially in a short sale. It's hard to know who to trust. We don't trust the banks, that's a given. The banks don't trust us. So, right there you've got some adversity happening in a short sale.

As a Sacramento short sale agent, my fiduciary relationship lies with the seller. I remind myself every day that I can't do anything that could cause harm to the seller. I must put the sellers' interests above my own. This means when a negotiator says I must personally cover a HUD deficiency or otherwise provide for a demand, I have to look at that situation seriously and determine whether I want to pitch in to make the transaction work.

If I don't, the deal could go to foreclosure. If I do, I'm setting a precedent.

Everybody lies. Especially negotiators. It's part of the job description. That's something I've picked up from Dr. House, if you want to know the truth. Journalists know that, too. When questioning a person about a conflicting statement, a journalist will think: "Were you lying then or are you lying now?"

Earlier this week I had a demand from a negotiator to pay extra toward a junior lien. The demand for payment was above and beyond a previous approval letter payoff. The threat was pay it or we'll close the file. The first lender did not want to pay it but then eventually backed down and agreed to it. I kept that bit of information to myself for the time being. Because, in the middle of everything, the buyer canceled. Ya gotta love that, not. Now, with nothing to lose, I could go back to the junior lender and say: Suck it up, buster, no deal. The answer is no. We won't pay the extra money. Just to see what would happen. I'm such a troublemaker.

Would you like to know what happened? The junior lender closed the file. There's my answer. And now you know, too.

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Elizabeth Weintraub is co-partner of Weintraub & Wallace Team of Top Producing Realtors, an author, home buying expert at The Balance, a Land Park resident, and a veteran real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown, Carmichael and East Sacramento, as well as tract homes in Elk Grove, Natomas, Roseville and Lincoln. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put our combined 80 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at RE/MAX Gold. DRE License # 00697006.

Photo: Unless otherwise noted in this blog, the photo is copyrighted by Big Stock Photo and used with permission.The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of RE/MAX Gold. Disclaimer: If this post contains a listing, information is deemed reliable as of the date it was written. After that date, the listing may be sold, listed by another brokerage, canceled, pending or taken temporarily off the market, and the price could change without notice; it could blow up, explode or vanish. To find out the present status of any listing, please go to elizabethweintraub.com.

Comments(9)

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Sara Garden
Rocky Mountain Home Staging - Boulder, CO
MBA, HSE, HSR, APSD, Home Stager

Giving ourself permission to say no is so powerful and not really encouraged in women especially from a young age. I actually bought my mother in law a book called "the Positive No" because she had such a hard time saying no to people even if they took terrible advantage of her and she resented it. She's much better at it now and feels liberated!

Oct 21, 2011 03:20 AM
Doug Rogers
RE/MAX Coastal Properties - Destin, FL
Your Real Estate Resource!

No alone is pretty effective. Explanation only works to dilute the "No". Nice post!

Oct 21, 2011 03:21 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Well, I guess you know now that if the second lien holder comes back again with a demand, and the buyer is still in the game, no is getting you anywhere.  But it's nice to know that up front.

Oct 21, 2011 03:47 AM
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

Elizabeth - Ahh.....I praise the day I learned to say NO and mean it!  Probably one of the most life alter days in my life.

Oct 21, 2011 05:36 AM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

They can push someone only so far before they push back.  For nice people and those wanting to do the right thing, "no" is a hard thing to learn to say.  But as a real estate industry-person, you're increasingly finding those that think they can bully or threaten you into doing what they want.  We need the sale so bad, right?  Glad you stood your ground.  Continue to do so ...

Gene

Oct 21, 2011 08:36 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I practiced that saying NO thing today.  I quit ONE of the "things" I give my time.  There's not enough time and as I explained family is my first priority. 

Oct 21, 2011 09:39 AM
Michelle Gibson
Hansen Real Estate Group Inc. - Wellington, FL
REALTOR

Elizabeth - I've never had a problem saying no, in fact I think my sons first word was "NO."

Oct 21, 2011 03:17 PM
DeeDee Riley
Windermere Real Estate - El Dorado Hills CA - El Dorado Hills, CA
Realtor - El Dorado Hills & the Surrounding Areas

Elizabeth,

Can't tell you how much I love reading your posts!  I always learn so much.  I really need to practice not including reasons to justify it!  Thanks for sharing and Happy Friday to you!

Oct 21, 2011 05:00 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

Elizabeth - I just got off the phone with my sister in Idaho. She is likely to lose her husband of 50 years to a disease that has plagued him for several years.  Sis was telling me about a wonderful caregiver that holds her husband's hand during rough moments.  I am convinced certain people shuffle across our planet because they have a certain gift for such things.  I am certain that caregiver is one of them.

AND I am fairly certain you are shuffling around because of your gift with negotiating short-sales. . .I don't have that gift:-)

Oct 22, 2011 02:11 PM