Sometimes You Need to Keep Your Opinions To Yourself
Valerie's post earned her a well deserved feature. We stagers must use our sense of discretion frequently. Whether you are helping someone prepare their home for sale or doing a redesign, the final decisions have to be made by the client. It is their home and budget, full of emotional ties, that only they can understand. Our job is to provide options.
Being a real estate agent is a test of discretion. There are times when keeping opinions to yourself is the best course of action.
I am lucky to have learned that allowing the cone of silence to drop is often the best course of action. Years ago I was going through a tough time in my marriage. I asked my parents if I could go visit them to have enough time away from my husband to make a decision - to go or to stay. My parents were very welcoming. In the car on the way from the airport, I outlined the situation. I was very emotional and thought I needed their help in making the decision. For five days I tried to trap them into telling me what to do. I talked at supper (when they couldn't leave). I found ways to divide them so that I could get my mom alone and try to squeeze out a direction. I did the same for my dad. They held firm. Why? Why wouldn't they let me know what they thought I should do? They said, and now I understand, that the decision had to be 100% mine and that I could not share the responsibility of the decision and of the consequences with anyone except my husband. They also said that if they said 'stay' and my life got worse that I would somehow blame them. If they had said 'go' and later I regretted that decision and went back, I would always know that they didn't love my husband and that there would be a lingering rift amongst us. Years later, after divorce and a whole new life, I asked them if it was a tough thing to do. You bet it was. They huddled every night and supported each other not to voice what they wanted me to do. How tough was that!!!!!
So, lesson learned. Buyers will ask how much you love a house they are considering or how much you dislike the house the don't want. It does not pay to be too vocal or to have too many opinions. Stick to the facts. Stay with comments about the price, about the location and about the physical condition of the home. I could give you a long list of things that I would never want to see in my house but that list is likely very different from the one my clients will have.
The emotional side of buying a home is something only the Buyers are going to have to live with and come to terms with later - when they miss a good house, live in the house of their dreams or learn that the house they thought they loved has so many faults that they hate it. The buying decision is going to rest on the people who pay for the home not on the agent, the stager, the inspector, the friends or the relatives. Sure the Buyer can gather up the inforamtion from each source but in the end....... there should be no one to blame or praise for the final decision except the Buyer.
Stay professional, use your expertise to provide factual advice and treat clients with respect.
Photo credit: enjoy the silence
email: vzinger@royallepage.com (613-723-5300)
Royal LePage Gale Real Estate, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
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