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HUMOR - ONLY IN AMERICA

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Long Island Business Brokerage, Inc.

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in America....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.



Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.



Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.



Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


Only in America..... . do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.


Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on
airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is Te opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?

Show All Comments Sort:
Victor DaGraca
Critical Home Inspections - Myrtle Beach, SC
Myrtle Beach Home Inspections
Why is "phonics" spelled that way?
Nov 01, 2007 06:57 AM
BLR Guy
BLRGUY(Beach & Luxury Realty Inc) - Saint Pete Beach, FL
These are some very good and very funny points Michael!LOL
Nov 01, 2007 07:17 AM
Sean Allen
International Financing Solutions - Fort Myers, FL
International Financing Solutions

Hey Michael,

I've seen it before but always enjoy reading it because it is so true. Thanks for sharing.

Sean Allen

Nov 01, 2007 07:35 AM
Jacqulyn Richey
Prominent Realty Group - Las Vegas, NV
Las Vegas Real Estate
LOL. Today I needed a good laugh. We are the land of hypocrisy. -Charles
Nov 01, 2007 08:21 AM
Chris Pollinger
Berman & Pollinger, LLC. - San Diego, CA
Consulting for Luxury Teams and Brokerages
great post - thanks for the funnies as well as the points to ponder.  I will use some of them in the future.
Nov 01, 2007 08:35 AM
Sal Poliandro - Helping People Win
RE/MAX Properties - Ridgewood, NJ
Broker Associate
Michael - Great post and very true!  Some good old American humor really hit the spot today.  I spent some time over in Europe and I can't believe the huge cultural differences between us and the rest of the world.  Europeans are much more relaxed and laid back - a much better way to go through life if you ask me!
Nov 01, 2007 12:20 PM
Gail Gladstone
Long Island Business Brokerage, Inc. - Huntington, NY
So true...so true...sadly so true
Nov 01, 2007 03:26 PM