I HAVE A RULE: YOU BOTH HAVE TO BUY THE SAME HOUSE. I learned the hard way to tell couples this rule early in the process. The fun blog by Karen Fiddler (http://activerain.com/blogsview/2606239/he-saw-she-saw-showing-homes-to-couples) reminded me of a long-ago and far away version of this.
The young couple were engaged, sent to me by her father, who was one of my trusted service people. We had a lovely, warm chat about their dreams. One thing that stood out was that the bride-to-be was already thinking that someday she wanted to have her children playing game and studying at the kitchen table, in the kitchen which would be the center of their warm family life. He agreed with all that and added that he would want a garage so he'd have room to putter.
Sweet, reasonable people, pre-qualified and motivated, with reasonable expectations - delightful transaction should be easy, I thought.
One of the first ones we looked at had all the essentials and was very well done. Both Joe and Jean (not their names) seemed to really like it. Joe especially liked the garage. They talked about it warmly.
The next one was similar in many ways. Jean was especially happy about the nice big kitchen. Joe, agreeable and very much in love, agreed that it was great.
Then he said, "I didn't know it would be this easy. Let's go make an offer." Only when I started to fill in the blanks did we realize that Jean and I were thinking about the kitchen of one and Joe was thinking about the garage of the other. All her life (her father had warned me), dad had been wrapped around her little finger and all she had to do was say "Please" most of the time, and in really difficult situations, cry a little. The young couple hadn't had a serious disagreement yet and the first was a disaster. She reasoned and pleaded. He reasoned and argued. Then she cried and he got louder. They broke up in my office. Looking back, it's a good thing they discovered some important things about themselves before they tied the knot.
I encourage buyers to speak freely when we're talking about what they want, and I tell them that it's okay to change their minds as they look at properties and clarify what's most important. I tell them that it's okay to be honest with me about their reactions to the houses - I didn't decorate them and don't take their opinions personally. I warn them that I will try to be careful not to try to impose my opinions on them, but that since they're hiring me to represent them, they may want to hear my opinions, whether or not they agree.
The aim is that when they make a decision, it will be about a property they really are enthusiastic about.
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