2011 DARWIN Awards.....what WERE these morons thinking!?

By
Mortgage and Lending with Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank



  

 

It's that time again. The  2011 DARWIN Awards are out. The annual honor is given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.  

Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out. This year's winner was a real rocket scientist... HONESTLY! Read on...And remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY!!! 

And the nominees  were :

 

>

Semifinalist #1

> A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.  

>   

Semifinalist #2

> Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles .  

>   

Semifinalist #3

> A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'Major trauma.'  

>   

>   Semifinalist #4

> A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.  

>   

>   

Semifinalist #5

> Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building, extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc... After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.  

>   

>   

And Now, for the  winner  of this year's Darwin Award :  

> (As always, awarded posthumously): The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off, actually a solid-fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!  

>

The facts as best could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.  

>

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20 -25 seconds. The driver, and soon-to-be pilot, would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become irrelevant for the remainder of the event.  

>

However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable.  

>

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.  

> You just couldn't make this stuff up, could you?  

>   

> PEOPLE LIKE THIS WALK AMONG US,  

> AND THEY PROCREATE AND VOTE !!

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Rainmaker
3,214,987
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce

Oh wow....life really IS stranger than Fiction !!!!

Nov 18, 2011 06:45 AM #1
Rainer
324,283
Don MacLean
New England Real Estate Center Inc. - Easton, MA
Realtor-Homes for Sale- Easton Mass

Karen, If they survived they would soon be running for Congress or worse.....................Jersey Shore lol

Enjoy the day

Nov 18, 2011 06:48 AM #2
Ambassador
1,494,327
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Hey Karen.... Not only am I smiling at your post (sick I know) but I'm actually grinning from ear to ear from Don's comment #2.  LOL

 

Nov 18, 2011 07:03 AM #3
Rainmaker
155,888
Cheryl Dickson
Wichita Falls Association of Realtors - Staff - Wichita Falls, TX
Retired Realtor, GRI / Retired Home Inspector

Whoa! Some real winners losers out there, Unfortunately, It's sad but true! Funny how stupid some people are.

Nov 18, 2011 07:26 AM #4
Rainer
142,952
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Sally and David...as they say, "ya can't make stuff like this up!"  lol   Thanks for your visit and have a terrific day! 

Oh Don...that's priceless!  Thanks for the added chuckles! All the best to you!

Hey there, John!     You're sick and twisted....and I like that!  ;-)   And admittedly, I was smiling big at Don's comment too!  lol 

Hi Cheryl....Sad but true...INDEED!  Have a great day and thanks for the visit! 

Nov 18, 2011 08:20 AM #5
Rainmaker
3,978,945
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Karen...these awards are justification that STUPID people should not breed!

Nov 18, 2011 09:34 AM #6
Rainer
142,952
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Bill...OR VOTE!    lol 

Nov 18, 2011 09:35 AM #7
Rainmaker
642,506
Dawn A Fabiszak
Private Label Realty ( Denver metro area, Colorado - Aurora, CO
The Dawn of a New Real Estate Experience!

Karen ~ all I can say is...stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, studpid and stupid idiot!

Nov 18, 2011 09:53 AM #8
Rainer
142,952
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Dawn...please tell me how you REALLY feel!  lol   :-)

Nov 18, 2011 10:00 AM #9
Rainmaker
93,833
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

Shhhh, don't tell.

They never found my remains because I got out of the car to light the damn rocket. The damn car took off before I could get back inside it.

That wasn't scortch marks on the road, It was cans of Crisco I was going to take to Karen in Oregon so she could bake me some of her world famous pies. (At 400 MPH, I figured I would be back home by dinner)

Instead I had to walk home. About half way I got a ride from some guy that asked if I had seen the UFO and claimed the little space men talked to him.

At the end of the day I lost my chevy, my rocket, my Crisco and still havent had any of Karens Pie.

Nov 18, 2011 02:07 PM #10
Rainmaker
207,865
Erby Crofutt
B4 U Close Home Inspections&Radon Testing (www.b4uclose.com) - Lexington, KY
The Central Kentucky Home Inspector, Lexington KY

And which was the biggest lost, Scott?

 

 

Nov 18, 2011 02:21 PM #11
Rainmaker
93,833
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

I think it was the beer in the trunk.

Nov 18, 2011 02:29 PM #12
Rainer
142,952
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

OMG I'm laughing hysterically!  Scott.. you've reached a new low.. or high, as the case may be!  THANK YOU  for the great response and levity! Bill is looking me while I'm laughing like WTF?  lol 

Nov 18, 2011 03:46 PM #13
Rainmaker
93,833
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

That will teach you to write about people from Arizona.

Nov 18, 2011 03:55 PM #14
Rainmaker
592,740
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

That is absolutely amazing stuff. I think several are elected officials.

Nov 18, 2011 05:13 PM #15
Rainmaker
647,599
Team Honeycutt
Allen Tate - Concord, NC

Ok I buy that there are people around us who lack the common sense enough to really plan things out , but where do you just pick up a JATO..lol let alone to fuel to boost it.

lol

( J )

Nov 21, 2011 02:52 AM #16
Rainer
142,952
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Than...I think you are absolutely right!

(j)  @ JATO'S  R  US of course!   lol 

Nov 21, 2011 06:14 AM #17
Rainmaker
322,220
Laura Sargent
Carolina One Real Estate - Mount Pleasant, SC

People around and among us - i love that part!  I just wish I could keep my son home and safe all the time!  Oh well, I'm also glad we aren't all the same!

Nov 21, 2011 02:06 PM #18
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Rainer
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Karen Burket

Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages
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