Heart Selling vs. Hard Selling

Home Stager

I listened to a wonderful teleseminar recently on how to attract clients without struggle by Jesse Koren and Sharla Jacobs.  For those who feel like the word "sell" is a 4-letter word, you might like their approach as much as I do.  I make every effort to follow their heart-centered approach to selling by incorporating 5 basic elements into EVERY conversation I have with potential clients.  These elements are the same elements you'll find in Chinese medicine as well as in the ancient Chinese art of Feng Shui.  The 5 elements include:  fireearthmetalwater and wood.  In a nutshell....



1.  Fire represents the energy of summer.  Having just the right amount of the fire element in your conversations gives people the feeling of WARMTH in your presence.  You can "burn" your potential clients with too much enthusiasm (fire). And when you don't have enough, youll come across as lacking energy because you're literally "burnt out". 




2.   Earth represents your connection with the ABUNDANCE we find in nature.  When earth element is in balance you know there is always more than enough and the desire to serve comes naturally.  With too much earth element you find yourself giving too much away so that you're barely getting by.  When earth is lacking, you're complaining that there's never enough money, business, time, etc., you're tight-fisted and needy which of course repels clients. 


3.  Metal represents the  energy of gem stones and precious metals.  The metal element in balance causes people to feel absolutely magnificent in your presence because you acknowledge their DIVINITY as well as your own.  Not enough metal and you're overly critical.  Too much metal might come across as insincere flattery.



4.   Water represents CURIOSITY about the mystery of what's lies "under the surface" of the conversation.  When water in balance you're curious about your clients, you ask lots of questions - you listen more than you speak.  (There's a reason we have 2 ears and one mouth!)  Too much water element and you think you already know what your clients' want and need, not enough and you will come across as lacking interest.  


5.  Wood represents focused and committed STRENGTH (envision the tiny sprout pushing tirelessly through dirt and rocks to reach the light).  The wood element in balance is all about offering choices - daring to ask the question, "would you like to work with me?"  Too much wood element and you're too pushy, not enough and you're too afraid to ask for the sale.  

Jesse and Sharla assure us if we incorporate ALL of the 5 elements in BALANCE into every conversation we will attract all the clients we need without struggle.  They also shared other pearls of wisdom...

"You don't have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great"   

"All masters started as disasters"

"The Universe wants us to be successful and will never give us more than we can handle"


Jesse and Sharla are award-winning million dollar mentors and are considered to be the leading authorities in holistic business training.  After struggling to build their own practices, they figured out a heart-based method for attracting tons of clients. They have taught thousands of coaches and heart-based entrepreneurs how to increase their business success.  Go here to learn more about them 

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Karen Bernetti is a Real Estate Stager, Former Realtor®, Author, Speaker, and Owner of Staging4Smooth Transitions - specializing in assisting seniors with their downsize moves and offering Home2Home Transitions seminars. Karen is also the Social Media Manager and Administrative Coordinator for Prudential CT Realty, in Madison, CT and Co-creator of the Ready2Sellin30Days System - an interactive multi-media program teaching do-it-yourself homeowners EVERYHTING they need to know about preparing a home for sale. Stay up to date on the latest staging and home decor trends by visiting Karen & Ann's Home Sale Success Blog.  


Comments (6)

Adrian Willanger
206 909-7536 AdrianWillanger-broker.com - Seattle, WA
Profit from my two decades of experience

Karen-thanks for sharing your article! It makes a ton of sense to me for attracting the kind of people I want to have around me and as clients.



Nov 20, 2011 02:30 AM
Brenda Mullen
RE/MAX Access - Schertz, TX
Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!!

That was wonderful Karen!  I will have to check out Jesse and Sharla.  Very interesting point of view and I can see where I am either too much or too less in each element presented.  Wow.  Suggested :)!

Nov 20, 2011 03:03 AM
Lora "Leah" Stern 914-772-4528
Coldwell Banker, 170 N Main Street, New City NY 10956 - New City, NY
Real Estate Salesperson

Karen, certainly an interesting way to view interpersonal relationships and using feng shui to develop client relationships.

Nov 20, 2011 03:09 AM
Kathy Sheehan
Bay Equity, LLC 770-634-4021 - Atlanta, GA
Senior Loan Officer

I totally get it!  This was a great article, Suggested and bookmarked!

Nov 20, 2011 03:11 AM
Connie Harvey
Pilkerton Realtors - Brentwood, TN
Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate

Karen, very nicely written! Balance in everything is key.

Nov 20, 2011 03:30 AM
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Karen- I love this and am bookmarkeing this.  And as Connie said it's about finding the balance in your life.

Nov 20, 2011 05:10 AM