I have never house boated before and here I am on the Sacramento Delta in California and I just pulled in front of an ocean going liner. I mean I couldn't have planned this stuff nor could I imagined anything as scary as being chased by a GIANT CRUISE SHIP blasting its horn who wont stop and I cannot speed up or turn anywhere.
DOWN BUT NOT OUT...BUT CLOSE TO BEING OUT
I jammed that throttle all the way and it didn't do any good. My wife is screaming and the kids are speechless. That is what makes it so terrifying for me. I understand me getting into these things, but my family? It makes my adrenaline just take off (a good thing) if we are to survive...I am thinking this is the end, but I kept it to myself. Meanwhile, BAMMMP BAMMMP BAMMMP coming up fast, hard and mean this GIGANTIC ocean liner
WHY DID I GO HOUSE BOATING...WHY?
Again, your life flashes in front of you. What am I doing here. How did I get into it with a Ocean Liner? What the hell is going on and how come they don't tell you this stuff in the travel brochures? BAMMMP BAMMMP BAMMMP goes the ocean liner and it is moving fast and coming up behind me quick. There is nothing I can do absolutely nothing..BUT WAIT...what is that up ahead....?
A PLACE TO MAKE A RIGHT TURN OUT OF NO-WHERE
Just up ahead, is an inlet where I can make a right turn into and maybe, just maybe get off this dam public Ocean liner freeway from hell. The question of "could I make it" kept presenting itself over and over in my mind. I kept seeing my wife and kids (screaming) and I kept looking at the ocean liner, a monstrous, terrifying thing up close BAMMMP...BAMMMP closing fast and then the inlet. Can I do this...PLEASE GOD
EIGHTY STORIES HIGH and very up close
The liner is about 80 stories high and it caught up to me. I kept thinking that the liner would do something to save me, to help me..NOT A CHANCE. First shock, it blots out the sun and a huge dark shadow falls over the whole boat. I am speechless. Its nose pulls up along side me cutting me off from the ocean. I am wedged between it and the shore as I approach my right turn. I look up and see nothing but the sides of a giant ship so tall that I cannot look straight up without lying on my back with a wake you can surf on jetting out the side of it and I kept thinking about what would happen when the rear of the ship pulled next to me and the rear of it just sucks me under and I and my family become PROPELLER FOOD...I kid you not
THE SHIP BLASTING ITS HORN DID NOT HELP
Well at least the Captain stopped blowing that horn which was deafening and also shook me up bad. Now this ocean liner is approaching me at it's half way point and my little tiny houseboat is rocking back and forth only it is also doing it left and right too. I am totally out of control here. Splish, splash, flop, flip, to, fro, up, down, and I am on pure adrenaline and finally approach my right turn and take it for all its worth. If I wanted to touch the side of that Ocean liner, all I had to do was reach over about 4 feet. I had to clear the rear PROPELLER driven wake coming from this monstrous, gigantic, uncompromising sized ship..I look over and my wife is screaming and the kids are in disbelief...
LIFE COMPARED TO SPECIAL EFFECTS...NO CONTEST
I cleared that boat with 3-4 seconds to spare as I turned hard right heading back into the safety of the Delta looking over my shoulder at the size of the liner passing me up and going on its way. My boat is till rocking all over the place as this thing speeds by me leaving a wake that can pull you under. The wake of it was so strong, it actually pushed me away from the liner once I was under control and speed. It took me hours to calm down. No food, my wife was scared out of her mind, the kids were emotionally spent and I had about 3 days to go...
BACK TO THE BARN
No, were heading back. We all had enough. Meanwhile, I am coming back to where I started and my battery is so low that I cannot turn on my running lights. Apparently I left them on all night. If the battery goes, the engine goes. I got this sick feeling again and I was supposed to be on vacation mind you. All this time, I never took off that Captains hat either
WHEN DOES THIS END?
We made it back...We literally ran off the boat and to our car unloading and loading with such a fervor. The owners meet me at the dock and asked me whats wrong? They were not expecting me back for 3 more days. I said no, everything is fine. The batteries are dead, the side of the boat has a scrape on it and instead of wanting 3 days refund, we decide to call it even...
SILENCE ON THE WAY HOME AND THEN SOME
We didn't talk about this trip for months and months. Not one word was said about the trip for the three hours trip home either. I later learned we were in some sort of shock. Then, one day we did discuss it and re-lived it laughing and near crying when telling the story swearing we would never rent a boat again. Today, I can look back and laugh, but I remember how it all started. It was that darn Captains hat that had me believing I was an old Salty ships Captain....I gave it away
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