It's ChristMAs time...

By
Real Estate Agent with Samson Properties

As Christmas is tomorrow I can't help but feel a little melancholy.  My Mom died in February of this year and it will be the first without her.  I am in no way trying to present myself as the best son in the world, but we seemed to have 'reconeccted' since she lived with us the last three years.

I can't help but think about all that she did.  I would like to say 'well that's what you're supposed to do as a parent,' but my mother really went the extr mile.  My father was stabbed to death in 1972 on the Washington Heights bridge, my Mom raised me all by herself, I did have a sister, but she was 19 years my elder, she never really lived with me while growing up, because she was estranged for a while.

My Mom worked at Isabella Nursing Home, she was a nurses aide; she was up at 4:40 AM EVERY morning, and back home around 5:00 PM, at which time she would cook for me; she barely had an elementary school education, but when she came to the US she went and became nurses aide, that was a different time, there still was job training and it wasn't necessary to go and get an Associate's Degree, yet alone a high school equivalency.  Education was extremely important to her, by hook or by crook I HAD to go to college--which I did, although I was in the top 1% of my graduating class, I really had doubts I would get through college.

There was nothing I could ever want for.  Many of my friends and relatives will say that I was 'spoiled,' I don't know how they can say that, I worked my but off.  She did instill that in me--hell I had my paper route fro almost 10 years, I was in high school still delivering the new York Post!  If I wanted something and I was a little short she always made up the difference, usually with some consternation, but she always gave in.

I saw how some of my other friend's lived and how less strict their parents were, I always was jealous of that, because my Mom was a little strict.  But as I see how they turned out, my Mom did the right thing, that's all I will say about that.

So as I sit here on my couch next to the spot where she seemingly sat everyday for the last several years, I sit here with a heavy heart and wish that she was here right now.

Posted by

Ashok 'Shoookie' Singh

Realtor, GRI, ABR, EcoBroker

Samson Properties

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Chantilly, VA 20151

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Comments (7)

Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

Know that the first holiday without a loved one is the most difficult...in time, you will have the many sweet memories replace the pain of your loss and remember all the good times you were fortunate enough to enjoy. All the best to you at these holidays and know they do get better.

Dec 23, 2011 11:19 PM
Barbara Tattersall
Keller Williams Realty Metropolitan (Keene,NH) - Keene, NH
GRI

Dear Shoookie,

Your wonderful mother will always be with you.  Whatever you do and whoever you help in your life will be a testament to her love for you-especially the "tough" love to keep you on the right path in life.  Cherish her memory.  Take care.

Dec 23, 2011 11:24 PM
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

Shoookie, if that is a photo of you, there should be no problem seeing your mother.  Everytime you look in the mirror your mother is looking right back at you.  Whenever you accomplish a goal or complete a task you've done so because of her early efforts with you.  My heart goes out to you and I'm so glad you had the final three years with her.  My father died June 9th and I really do know how you feel.  Breathe deep and for every sad thought, think about three happy thoughts.

Dec 23, 2011 11:39 PM
Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group
Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001 - Gaithersburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

Shoookie. . .

but she is inside you my friend. .

her teachings,

her love, 

her touch, 

her smile. .

You become of her what she was once to you. .

Why did God invented parents then?

our generations are an extension of  large links of chains being preserved by our love and understanding by our parents. .

Our parents jobs are completed when you realize that you are becoming another link, the next link. .and understanding  the responsibility to pass it on to your children.

 

Tragedy is almost on everyone's history. . no one is immune to that. . but that pain serves a purpose

to make you what you are today. .

Sitting on the couch, missing your mother is a testament of a job well done by her. . 

She is proud of you and she is present inside you. .this Christmas and the next one and the next one after that. 

Merry Christmas Shoookie

 

Dec 23, 2011 11:47 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Your mom was a special lady and will always be with you as long as you continue these thoughts.

Dec 23, 2011 11:51 PM
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Ashook. I am hoping that the joy of the season and the wonderful memories of your Mom will help you celebrate this time of year. I was moved by the tribute to your Mom.

Dec 24, 2011 01:24 AM
DONNA SINGH
Royal LePage Connect Realty - Toronto, ON

Shookie, sometimes we are not best friends with our parents but that is not their job. She was your mom and kept you on the straight and narrow path by being strict, remember she only wanted the best for you. My mother was very strict too and today I understand her alot better, even though we don't always agree. Thats ok.

I'm glad she lived with you and you reconnected with her. Fernando has put it into words perfectly. Your tribute to mom was beautiful and brought a tear to my eye.

Dec 24, 2011 02:20 AM