As Christmas is tomorrow I can't help but feel a little melancholy. My Mom died in February of this year and it will be the first without her. I am in no way trying to present myself as the best son in the world, but we seemed to have 'reconeccted' since she lived with us the last three years.
I can't help but think about all that she did. I would like to say 'well that's what you're supposed to do as a parent,' but my mother really went the extr mile. My father was stabbed to death in 1972 on the Washington Heights bridge, my Mom raised me all by herself, I did have a sister, but she was 19 years my elder, she never really lived with me while growing up, because she was estranged for a while.
My Mom worked at Isabella Nursing Home, she was a nurses aide; she was up at 4:40 AM EVERY morning, and back home around 5:00 PM, at which time she would cook for me; she barely had an elementary school education, but when she came to the US she went and became nurses aide, that was a different time, there still was job training and it wasn't necessary to go and get an Associate's Degree, yet alone a high school equivalency. Education was extremely important to her, by hook or by crook I HAD to go to college--which I did, although I was in the top 1% of my graduating class, I really had doubts I would get through college.
There was nothing I could ever want for. Many of my friends and relatives will say that I was 'spoiled,' I don't know how they can say that, I worked my but off. She did instill that in me--hell I had my paper route fro almost 10 years, I was in high school still delivering the new York Post! If I wanted something and I was a little short she always made up the difference, usually with some consternation, but she always gave in.
I saw how some of my other friend's lived and how less strict their parents were, I always was jealous of that, because my Mom was a little strict. But as I see how they turned out, my Mom did the right thing, that's all I will say about that.
So as I sit here on my couch next to the spot where she seemingly sat everyday for the last several years, I sit here with a heavy heart and wish that she was here right now.
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