Unskilled EIFS inspectors

Services for Real Estate Pros with Modern Wall Systems 07240-47

Telephone Rings: “Ring, Ring”

SIC:                  "Good morning, Shmuckos Inspection Company, Billy speaking, can I
                           help you? “

Customer:            "Yes good morning, I’m calling because my husband noticed mildew and water
                            stains at the windows and at the … (click) "Hello? Billy..., are you there? Hello? Hello?"

The front doorbell chimes (ding dong)

A women opens the door with a phone to her ear saying, "Hello...Billy?" I of course am quite accustomed to seeing this phenomenon. Many EIFS home owners find themselves on the phone looking for help with their moisture problems. A small percentage find themselves on the phone looking for help for their drinking problems brought on by their moisture problems. At any rate, I digress.

SIC:                   “Hello Ma’am, I’m Billy. We were talking on the phone about moisture problems
                            effecting your home.”

Customer:             “H.., H, How did you do that?” she asked as she looks at the phone in her hand
                            quizzically and hangs up. “ I was ju, just…"

SIC:                    “Snap out of it lady” Billy says as he snaps his fingers in the air.

                             Using his best super hero voice and standing at the front door with his fist at his waist he                                    proclaims “ You have Moisture, and I can help.”

Customer:              “Uh..., OK.”

30 minutes later…

SIC:                      “Um, yes Ma’am, apparently your moisture problem stems from the uh, aqua velvet
                             circumference of the um, … the rain...with the EIFS...and you have to tear it all off. That'll be                                 500 bucks.”

Believe it or not ladies and gents, this scenario gets played out almost exactly every single day in America.
That is pretty shameful if you ask me. Imagine if you will, a doctor suggesting an amputation for a stubbed
toe. Nowadays most EIFS repairs require a small amount of work to repair whatever needs repairing. Caulking, kick-outs or even small scale structural damage. The fact is that most repairs can be done for betweem3-5K.

And once the repairs are complete those problems will never happen again if they were done correctly and if the owner/tenant doesn't neglect the building by not inspecting annually. 

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