Women are Bit*hes, Men Are Professionals

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Sweet Digs Real Estate

Happy New Year!  I thought I'd start this New Year out by writing a blog about something that seems to be running rampant in the real estate industry and what has become the cesspool of unprofessional, egotistical men who basically talk down, degrade and treat strong, aggressiveconfident women Realtors® inferiorly.  For example, here is an email I received just recently from a Broker of Record of all people.  I had written to him to simply ask for his help with one of his agents after I had submitted an offer for one of my buyers.

 

"I spoke to XXXX . Your offer was presented .  It was rejected . XXXX told you what the seller was willing to take on this property . ( that is a counter offer ) 


On a side note , did you ever hear the saying that you catch more bees with honey than vinegar. I would suggest for your customer's sake you try honey . I would suggest you change your attitude and your dealings with me and my agents or get one of your associates to represent your clients when it comes to my office .Your approach doesn't help you or your clients ."

 

Do you think this Broker would have written this type of e-mail to Donald Trump or Warren Buffet? Do you think any "man" would have ever said to Donald Trump or Warren Buffet that they should use honey to "catch more bees?"Do you think he would have demanded either of these two confident, powerful, aggressive men to"change their attitude?" Of course not. It's just a way for this particular man to treat a woman with as little respect as he can and to make him feel more powerful!  It's disgusting and pathetic is what it is.  I have news for this Broker, my clients hire me for those very characteristics that you would like for me to change. When buying or selling a home, a client needs someone on their side who is confident, strong and who is an expert negotiator be it man or woman! They do not want someone who is meek, timid or is afraid of their own shadow or someone who bows down to someone just because "he" tells her to. Go crawl back under the rock you live under Mr. Caveman! 

 

Don't misunderstand this blog though. I am an extremely confident and strong professional woman and when these type of men treat me this way, I put them in their place, stay focused and complete the task in front of me. I don't allow this type of ignorance hinder me. The purpose of this blog is to create awareness to what is still going on in the world of business today.

 

 

How about just doing your job no matter what gender you are dealing with and do your job to the best of your ability. Dot your i's and cross your t's. Keep your personal feelings to yourself and focus on your client. If a man is intimidated by a woman Realtor® he is dealing with than perhaps he should get out of the business altogether because women are here to stay and we are smart, professional, strong, determined, and we are Realtors®, lawyers, doctors, surgeons, astronauts, astrophysicists etc and we have our own minds, opinions and can speak for ourselves and match wits with the best of them.  And one more thing for those men who just love to put professional women down or call them names like bit*hes.  One day you will have daughters if you do not already and one day that daughter will grow up and hopefully become a strong, professional, determined, aggressive woman who will have her own values and opinions and I am quite certain that you would not at all like if some man just like you spoke to your daughter the way that you speak with me and other professional women just like me. So, get your act together and learn some manners, give the same respect that you give to your buddies and want for yourselves, to all women no matter what their stature. This is after all 2012.

 

I would love to know your thoughts on this topic. If you would like to share your experiences, please do so. 

 

Renee Porsia is a REALTOR® Associate Broker with RE/MAX Eastern and published author. If you would like to read more articles by Renee Porsia, or are interested in selling or buying a home in the Philadelphia, Bucks or Montgomery County areas, or contact her directly at 215-669-0589 or in the office at 215-953-8800 (ask for Renee). You can also follow Renee on Twitter @reneeporsia

 

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Rainmaker
155,744
Rachel Rabinowitz
Guerilla Realty - Baltimore, MD
The Baltimore Realtor

Hi Renee,

Very bold post! That email you received was AWFUL! Good for you for turning it into a teachable moment.

 

Jan 09, 2012 01:12 AM #1
Rainmaker
1,066,807
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

That particular broker crossed the line when he started to lecture you - that is not professional and I agree that he probably would not have done that with a man.  It actually shows his weakness, not yours.

Jan 09, 2012 01:14 AM #2
Rainmaker
677,199
Peter den Boer
Atlanta Communities - Woodstock, GA
MBA,GRI, Associate Broker, Realtor

Hi Renee!

Thought you might like to hear from a guy on this one. I have 2 daughters, one studying to be an aerospace engineer and one a computer science major. I can't stand the people who do what you are describing and hope my kids will not put up with this either. I think the broker in this case was way out of line. I also think ( and hope) that he is the exception and not the rule. Be careful not to paint us all with the same brush. I subscribe to the idea of Kill them with kindness idea.

Jan 09, 2012 01:19 AM #3
Rainmaker
409,962
Karen Winters, Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices KoenigRubloff
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Koenig Rubloff Realty Group - Chicago, IL - Chicago, IL
Chicago, IL

The Broker's email was definitely out of line.  Perhaps he would be better served to speak to his own agent to find out why the agent's business practices cause other agents to go to the Broker of Record to get sufficient answers regarding offers.  Correct the practices of his own agent first before lecturing another.

Jan 09, 2012 02:02 AM #4
Rainer
110,916
Leslie G. Rojohn
MoonDancer Realty - Sylva, NC
GRI, ABR ~ MoonDancer Realty

This is the ancient method used by all inferior beings to try to convince themselves they are the superior ones.  If they mock or ignore others they feel they have gained power.  Try turning the tables sometime and just grin and wink at your other female agents when a man is trying to speak as if you all know what a ditz he is. Laugh and move to another subject like as if he's not really even in the room.  Do that for awhile and see how fast you get a behavior modification.

Jan 09, 2012 02:05 AM #5
Rainer
32,431
Renee Porsia
Sweet Digs Real Estate - Newtown, PA
Agent Genius

Peter, I would love to hear from more men. Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately, in my area anyway, it does seem to be more the rule than the exception.  Just yesterday, I received a phone message from a man who is a Realtor that I've never met and do not know.. no hi, no introduction, just a very rude message to me about how my buyer who I have a buyer broker agreement with does not want to work with me and that she was never my friend and that he will have her go to the real estate commission if I do not let her out of it. Oh, and he has been working with her for over a month now.  I do not think he would have left that type of message to one of his buddies or another man Realtor. It's pathetic.

Jan 09, 2012 02:05 AM #6
Rainer
32,431
Renee Porsia
Sweet Digs Real Estate - Newtown, PA
Agent Genius

Hi Karen, in my original blog post, I had that broker's agent's text to me which is just as egotistical as the broker's email but I took it out becasue I felt that it was just too long. I only wanted the agent to give back my client's good faith deposit along with the rejected offer and the response I recieved from the agent was that he does way more deals than me and he would never waste his time getting his client to reject an offer in writing. 

Jan 09, 2012 02:12 AM #7
Rainer
14,249
Bob Brock
Knoxville Fine Homes Realty - Knoxville, TN
Bob Brock

Dear Renee, your old friend from Knoxville here!  I have always practiced the Golden Rule for both our professional dealings with all and love the idea of taking care of our clients in the best way possible. It is unfortunate that we have incosiderate and terrible people in our profession, and the old saying ususally works, in that what goes around comes around! I have found that the part time people, whether male or female, are most of the time, the ones that ends up crippling us all. I agree with being kind and the same treatment to all, regardless of gender. Thanks for all you do right in the industry and look forward  for more to come.

Aug 06, 2014 06:15 AM #8
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Rainer
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