I was in the fast lane cruising at 80 mph on the freeway, headed to my mom's house. The next two lanes over were completely empty, and there weren't any cars ahead for miles. As I looked up at my rear-view mirror, I noticed a woman in a truck behind me. I could see that she was irritated by the scowl on her face and the way she drove her truck up as close to my tail lights as possible. It was perfectly clear that she wanted me to move over. With resistance to her bullying driving, I thought, "If she wants to go faster than 80 mph, she can go around me--I'm not moving. She SHOULDN'T be going that fast anyway."
I was dead set on staying where I was at, and she was dead set on me moving over so she could pass. We drove like this for several minutes and with each passing moment my frustration increased, causing the tension in my body to grow. I just kept thinking how she "shouldn't" be riding my tail and she "shouldn't be going over 80 mph anyway." Eventually, the grouchy driver went around me.
It wasn't more than 10 minutes later that I was in the same predicament. I'm in the fast lane, still cruising at 80 mph, next two lanes are empty, and there's a kid riding my tail. My immediate reaction was the same, but then I quickly recalled what had happened earlier. I recognized those familiar thoughts that, he "shouldn't" be riding my tail and he "should" just go around. I recognized that I was resisting these drivers and that resistance created adverse effects for me. It created tension, stress and tightness in my chest. Was is really worth it? No! It was so silly. Why not just move over? What would it hurt? With these thoughts, I immediately moved over and it was a done deal.
So how is this driving experience a perfect example of what it is like when we resist? When we resist something that someone says or believes or a situation that occurs, we create tension. If words like "should" or "shouldn't" are present, there's a good chance there's unproductive resistance present; however not all resistance is bad. For example, the more we resist old, bad habits, the easier it becomes to create new, healthy ones. It is when the outcome does not produce a positive impact on us that we must take a closer look.
I was dead set on staying where I was at, and she was dead set on me moving over so she could pass. We drove like this for several minutes and with each passing moment my frustration increased, causing the tension in my body to grow. I just kept thinking how she "shouldn't" be riding my tail and she "shouldn't be going over 80 mph anyway." Eventually, the grouchy driver went around me.
It wasn't more than 10 minutes later that I was in the same predicament. I'm in the fast lane, still cruising at 80 mph, next two lanes are empty, and there's a kid riding my tail. My immediate reaction was the same, but then I quickly recalled what had happened earlier. I recognized those familiar thoughts that, he "shouldn't" be riding my tail and he "should" just go around. I recognized that I was resisting these drivers and that resistance created adverse effects for me. It created tension, stress and tightness in my chest. Was is really worth it? No! It was so silly. Why not just move over? What would it hurt? With these thoughts, I immediately moved over and it was a done deal.
So how is this driving experience a perfect example of what it is like when we resist? When we resist something that someone says or believes or a situation that occurs, we create tension. If words like "should" or "shouldn't" are present, there's a good chance there's unproductive resistance present; however not all resistance is bad. For example, the more we resist old, bad habits, the easier it becomes to create new, healthy ones. It is when the outcome does not produce a positive impact on us that we must take a closer look.
Take inventory right now. What are you resisting? What situations trigger "should" thoughts for you? Is that resistance effective, creating more of what you want or is it costing you your peace, your energy, your job?
I encourage you this week to be conscious of what you resist. With every resistance, ask yourself, "What is this resistance creating and is it worth it?"
When I read the above message this morning, it gave me pause and struck me as something worth sharing. My amazing productivity coach Nancy Knuth sent it to me and her other coachees after her coach Corry Ann March shared it with her. If you think it's worth sharing, please pass it on, along with credit to Corry Ann March.
And thank you to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., for teaching us the value of freedom in its most significant form.
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