Liz & Bill Spear, that 1/2 and 1/2 of a whole feature-blogging machine has suggested in their recently "featured" (d'uh) blog post that many of our post are accidental... nay, incidental... neigh, brought about by contact with a wayward horsie.
How exactly do they mean? It makes it sound as though I was driving southbound on Doheny, and this guy in a souped up Gremlin darted out of Pico coming west, and broadsided me. And as the windshield went through my brain (or t'other way around), suddenly I had this great idea for a blog post.
I didn't see my life flash before my eyes... I didn't have a world full of regrets run past me in little red P.F. Flyers (how old ARE you?), but instead, I said to myself "Self" (that's what I call myself), "Self! This would make a great blog post!"
Well, I'd like to tell you that is not the case. I'd really like to tell you that I have a plan. In fact I have a dream. I dream that one day, my blog posts will be judged, not by the plann-ded-ness of their text, but by the... uh... yeah.... well, you know what I mean. I grab each lion by the mane, in proper order, one lion at a time. Now that's order!
I'd like to tell you that I have a schedule that I keep. Mondays are posts that ridicule other folks posts. Tuesdays are backlash day, where I take on the naysayers. Wednesdays I apologize for Monday's post, and Thursdays I wax philosophic. Fridays, it kind of depends on where I have lunch.. if I have a heavy lunch, (you know, pasta and shells with Parmesan and 
Riccota followed by a decadent Tira Misu) I tend to get a bit morose and blog about the down market trend, and will we ever see a bottom... and If I've had a salad... (you know, those leafy green vegetables with tofu and dressing made from Hydrated air, with a side order of napkins dujour?) then I tend to be a little depressing.
I'd like to tell you all of that... but we all know that I'd be lying. My posts are almost entirely incidental, occidental, accidental and temperamental. Sometimes it's just a stream of consciousness, and other-times it's hard to tie three words together.
I won't apologize for it.... (I won't? ... No, I wont!... hey, you ... get back in the box.... whimper, whimper)... it's just the way I'm wired. You're going to get pure unadulterated Alan, 24/7 at the All Alan All the Time station.
Tune in next week (on Saturday, of course) for another dose of As the Stomach Turns. [cue music]
Set your DVR's.
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