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Our Trash-Talking Toddler

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Austin Texas Homes, LLC 453249

DISCLAIMER: I shouldn't have to write this disclaimer, but I will anyway, because it's my blog.  Nothing in this post is to be taken seriously.  I am only writing this for fun.  Back to your reading.

I have written a number of posts about my children over my 3+ months here at Active Rain, but I wanted to take a minute to talk to you about something that is beginning to concern me:

My toddler daughter talks smack sometimes. 

 

Yes, our beautiful 19-month old little girl has recently developed a foul mouth.  In fact, I hesitate to share some of these things with you, for fear that you may contact the authorities and they will raid our home  searching for evidence of improper behavior or politically incorrect educational materials.

The other day, my angel came into the room screaming, "TARDS!  TARDS!"  I was so startled by this, "What?!  Who? Huh?  Are you talking to me?"  Oh, I see.  She only wanted to play with the cards that she had seen on the shelf.  Disaster averted.  All is well. 

A few days later, she looked straight at my eight-year old son and said very clearly, "Dumb."  I was taken aback by this.  "What's that, honey?"  She began to whine a little, and she repeated, "Dumb.  Dummy!"  I then realized that he had gum in his mouth and she wanted a piece (not really advisable for a toddler, usually). 

She absolutely loves our cats, and she often wants to be around the "Kitty", but she can't yet pronounce the "K" sound, so it often comes out as a "T".  You can imagine the great laughs that has elicited when we have company over and she is begging to see the kitty.

As a funny side note, she was looking at a picture with me the other day of an outside scene, and she said, "Foggy".  I was amazed that she grasped this weather concept already, so I said, "Yes, it is a little foggy there.  Good!"  Then she pointed at a small frog that I hadn't seen, and said, "Little foggy."  Oops.  Yes, I see the little frog now.

She is at the stage where she will literally try to repeat anything that you say, no matter how challenging it may seem.  I love this phase, because you can say, "Antidisestablishmentarianism" and it will come out as "Tards".  Just kidding.  The inflection sounds identical to yours, but the word has no meaning at all, unless by pure accident.  On short words, it is usually very close.

We have a saying that my son started in our house when he was a toddler that we still use today.  When he was small, he would say, "Noooo, you not!"  Obviously, he outgrew this, but we thought it was funny, so we still say it seven years later.  We even taught our littlest one to say it now, only it comes out as "No.Ninnut!" followed by a big smile or a laugh.  She loves to be the life of the party. 

The other saying that lasted for awhile from my son's toddlerhood was "No.  Go away from me."  Not "get away from me" but "go away from me".  I loved this one.  He would say this anytime another kid was bothering him when he about two.  Believe it or not, my mom actually still says it to me when she is talking about someone bugging her at work.  This phrase is actually remarkably freeing and descriptive at the right moment.  I may start using it with telemarketers now.

I would share one last example with you, but I don't think my blog would be considered family-friendly anymore if I told you how our baby girl pronounces "Fox" these days (think about it and it will come to you).  I have placed a moratorium on reading "Fox in Socks" until she is a bit older.  Foxy Loxy is also out of the question, as is the phrase, "Crazy like a fox." 

Thanks for reading!

 

Copyright 2007   Austin TX Real Estate     Jason Crouch   All rights reserved

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If you're looking for a home in the Austin area, you can also visit my primary website at www.austintexashomes.com.  Thanks!

Katerina Gasset
The Gasset Group & Get It Done For Me Virtual Services - Provo, UT
Amplify Your Real Estate & Life Dreams!
Jason- So funny and cute. I still crack up at the things our 5 year old comes up with. He has a huge vocabulary and it takes me back at time when words I don't even use come out of his mouth, not bad ones, long adult words. Like he says, I am busy right now working on a CONTRAPTION. Now where did he get that? I think from Inspector Gadget! Katerina
Nov 18, 2007 05:21 AM
Peggy K.
Grand Property Virtual Tours - Buffalo Grove, IL
Illinois Virtual Tour Provider and Real Estate Photographer

Thanks for making me laugh this morning.  My kids are older now, thanks for bringing back some memories

Nov 18, 2007 05:30 AM
Josette Skilling
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Bethesda, MD
Some of my favorite things are that the girls mispronounced.  They were not too potty mouthed because they were pretty clear from the beginning.  But some of the whacky sayings were just too cute.  Now they are just sassy and mouthy and you wonder why you ever taught them to speak at all :)
Nov 18, 2007 05:38 AM
Chad Baird
Re/Max Spirit - Dayton, OH

My five year old called my 3 year old a tard last weekend in context.  My yougest comes up names as well?  Not really sure where they pick these words up. 

Wasn't there a show ca;;ed "Kids say the drndest things" ?  Once I had my daughter in the office and somebody asked her if she wanted a gumball from the machine nextdoor.  The machine takes dimes and all she had was quarters.  So I told the agent that I had a bunch of change in ashtray, it was unlocked, grab what she needed.  Off they went to buy some gum.  Later that night, my daughter decided to announce " The nice lady in Daddy's truck bought me a bunch of bubble gum".  Kids have a way of saying the cutest things and making them sound cheap! 

Nov 18, 2007 05:40 AM
Keith Perry
Coldwell Banker - Hiram, GA
REALTOR - West Metro Atlanta
LOL.... All of ours are grown and gone but the grandkids say the same when they are here. Its funny how grands talk the exact same as your own children. Maybe that is why we get the names all confused and nothing to do with us getting older(or younger as in my case).  :) Have a great Thanksgiving
Nov 18, 2007 05:45 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

JULIE - I can relate to the French accent.  My son uses an accent like the guy in the old Grey Poupon commercials ("Pardon me...") whenever we are around elevators.  He likes to pretend that he is the elevator operator ("Watch your step, madam").  He is such a ham, but he comes by it honestly.  His dad is worse!

KATERINA - My kids are also very verbally precocious.  Today, we got all three of them baptized at church, and our pastor was greeting us, and my son said, "It's really an honor to be here today." I'm sure that people thought I coached him to say this since he is 8, but that's just his personality.  Both of my older kids told me later that it was exciting being on stage.  It was really a great day for our family.

PEGGY - I am glad this made you laugh.  Have a great week!

JOSETTE - I am still enjoying the innocence of their youth, but I know that this is coming eventually.  Thanks for your comments, as always!

CHAD - Those are both funny stories.  Thanks for sharing them.  I hope you have a great Thanksgiving with your family.

KEITH - I once watched my grandmother use three generations of names to correct my son.  She said my dad's name, then mine, then my son's, all in quick succession until she got the right one.  Have a great week!

Nov 18, 2007 05:44 PM
Amber Riviere
Brown Bug, LLC - Covington, LA
That's funny, Jason.  Kids are hilarious.  My mom had a daycare center when I was growing up, and we still use a saying that we heard from a two-year-old there (whose mother had a bit of a foul mouth).  Her mom would say, "I'll be d*****" all the time (I'll assume you're keeping this G-rated), so the two-year-old started saying it, except she said, "I'll be dot."  She's in high school now, and we still say "I'll be dot."
Nov 19, 2007 01:20 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
AMBER - I'm glad you appreciated this one.  That is a funny story that you shared.  We have a bunch of phrases like that, too (which stuck with us for years).  Good stuff!  Have a great Thanksgiving!
Nov 19, 2007 03:52 AM
Todd Clark - Retired
eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR
Principle Broker Oregon

I too often write about my kids and it is those moments you described in your blog today that make it so much fun to be a parent.

Nov 19, 2007 04:59 PM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
TODD - I thoroughly agree with you.  I enjoy your kid posts, too.  Have a good one -
Nov 20, 2007 10:27 AM
Marlene Scheffer
Realty Station - Bremerton, WA
Realtor to Kitsap County, WA

Oh, my goodness, I LOVED this post!!!  And so relevant, since this morning I had to explain to my three year old that D*^n is not a word we use in our home.  I think I know where he got it, but still.  Problem is, it is a word that we use sometimes in our home.  Oops.  :)

A friend of mine had a three year old who couldn't make the "F" sound, so she would take him to the monster truck show just to hear him yell "Truck! Truck!" in his special way.  Think about it.

I just had the best laugh of my day reading this post and all the comments.  Thanks!

 

Nov 20, 2007 10:49 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
MARLENE - Thanks for stopping by to check this one out.  I am so glad you got a good laugh out of it.  It sounds like it was timely for you, too.  You would probably like some of my other kid posts, too. 
Nov 20, 2007 10:55 AM
M A
Boston, MA

Jason,

Funny.  They do say the darndest things.  My kids used to tell us all the time.... "I glub you".  Still to this day... .we use the term.  Actually, the term still has two meanings.... one when the kids tell us how they care about us.... they glub us.... and the other when they want to go out in the cold and put on their glubs to keep their hands warm.

Dec 21, 2007 02:17 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
MARTIN - Thanks for taking the time to read this older post of mine.  We have a bunch of phrases that we still use from when our older kids were toddlers.  Thanks for sharing one of yours.
Dec 21, 2007 06:32 AM
Gary Gay
Crye-Leike Bentonville Crossroads - Bentonville, AR
GRI, Executive Broker - NW AR Realtor
LOL - when my son was little and learning to use contractions, he was often heard saying "I amn't" instead of "I'm not".   We still use it today
Dec 21, 2007 07:27 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
GARY - I like that one a lot.  Thanks for sharing it.  I would use it, too, if my kid said it.
Dec 21, 2007 05:37 PM
Allison Stewart
St.Cloud Homes - Saint Cloud, FL
St. Cloud Fl Realtor, Osceola County Real Estate 407-616-9904
It took weeks to decipher  the hidden meaning of "Garbage Back Pack" one of my twins used to say. Finally after thinking about it until my brain hurt....it dawned on me..It was Cabbage Patch kid!  The other twin sang Dee A Dee Do Da Dee...give up?  It was the theme from Barney I love you, You love love me!  Those were the days! 
Dec 21, 2007 09:16 PM
Vanessa Stalets
RE/MAX Elite - Brentwood, TN
REALTOR, Brentwood TN Homes, Real Estate

Oh my, laughing. Funny how the mispronounced words with no real idea of what they mean or how to use them ends up so dang funny! I think I would put the kabosh on the Fox word too for a bit...My son when he was 5 went to an afterschool program until I got off work about 5. One day I picked him up and drove him home and was in the middle of cooking dinner when he says  " Mommy what's a (soundes like runt with a c).."? I seriously choked and went a little nuts. I am really really not fond of that word for any reason. I told him it was a very bad word and to not ever say it again. So of course he said it over and over sing song style.. He got a literal taste of soap that evening and we still laugh about it(sort of)

:.(

Dec 22, 2007 06:21 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

ALLISON - I like "Garbage Back Pack"  - it sounds like something one of my kids would say.  Our toddler actually sings a very similar version of the Barney song.  AH WAH DOO...DOO WAH ME!

VANESSA - Yikes!  That one would definitely catch me offguard.  I hope I don't hear that question anytime soon.  I think we might have to go the soap route as well if it continued. 

Dec 27, 2007 08:08 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

Ruth - Thanks so much for reading along with me!  I'm happy to have another visitor.

Mar 20, 2009 03:07 AM