When someone says that they are hungry, never complain that you are too full!

I think this is a skill that some in our industry learned at some point as a coping mechanism.  In fact I remember a speaker's big message being  NOT empathizing with our clients. That was a far different time though...

In times like these, a bragger can lose many friends by the uncontroled flapping of the lips.

When I was starting out and not doing much business I had a lot of experienced, high-volume agents very nicely helping me out with leads and advice.  Humility is such a rare thing in this business but when talking to those who aren't as well off, it's essential.  You've written a brilliant article, Richard.

FEATURED IN BANANATUDE!!

Great topic Richard....in this fast moving society we are better served when we stop and listen before we reply.  Recommend a good book.  Stop Saying Your Fine  by Mel Robbins.  And for you a suggested feature my friend

Good morning Richard,

That is the best advise!  Great analogy as well.  Have a terrific Tuesday.

Richard, I'm convinced that a lot of people who boast about how well they are doing are in the fake it til you make it mode.

I'm convinced that the people that tell me that 2011 was their best year ever is either lying or they use the same accounting system that wall street uses for their earnings reports.

The fake it 'til you make it mode -- yep I remember doing that.  I hope like heck I never faked it at someone else's expense, but it isn't something that be so memorable to the person who said it as the person that had to listen to it.

Thanks for the reminder to be sensitive and great suggestion to see how you can help. 

thanks for the post, Richard. There is wisdom in it.

Tatyana.

Hey, Richard!

I included this post in Last Week's Favorites.  Have a great week.

Richard love the post and description of the process to be tender hearted, tough skinned to weather the real estate storms.

Richard... I am so glad that Pat included your post in her week's favorites. You've written a post that exudes empathy, strength and warmth.  And I'm glad to see that most of us here on AR feel the same way as you do when our peers need our help. Thank you.

Pat's Favs sent me here. I can't believe this didn't get Featured.  Great post.  Yep, throw the flag for "excessive celebration" and "piling on" this Super Bowl Sunday.  Kicking a person who admits being down deserves a severe penalty.

I really like this blog topic Richard. 

There is a lot of unnecessary gloating that goes on in our business.  I think it is because if you are not feared often you are destroyed in a sales based business.  So there is a lot of bravado. 

I personally don't care to participate in it. 

I do tell people my honest stats when they ask how I am doing instead of saying "great."  People find it refreshing.  They never hear that.  I know I never did from others.  I don't think this business is "them or me." However, I do understand why other agents act that way. 

Hi Richard - Great advice!  The uncomfortable thing for me is when it happens the other way around.  They ask me how I'm doing and I say "Great!" and tell them how well our market is doing and how the phones are ringing and we're getting multiple offers, and THEN they will tell me that they are miserable.  It's hard to know what to say next.  If I try to find out what they're doing or not doing so I might be able to give them some ideas, often I feel like it might come across as if I'm a know-it-all and their problems are their own fault for not doing things right. It's hard, because what I want to do is pick people up - not knock them down.

I've been in that position, and you are so right...you'll never help someone by telling them how great you are doing. We need to encourage people and be there when they need us.

Richard, our office is having a panel of experts on Tuesdays. The top earners in our office for 2011 are going to share their secrets. Really?!! I have mixed emotions but I'm going to go. I hope it's not just a bragging session.

Richard -- what a great attitude and helpful sharing blog to boot!  With that approach, you will continue to succeed.

Exellent advice! You would think it would be common sense, but it's amazing how insensitive some folks can be.

Gretchen

Richard, what people don't get is many of these agents who are promoting their glorious commissions had it tough at one time and if they are doing well they must be hiring...sensitivity is always important ...some read too much into posts made...referring a bit outwards (i do that in my office to one new agent- my broker does not but i do) is paying it forward...nice share.