Why you can sell in person, but your marketing copy fails: Blame your English teacher.
You may be writing under the mistaken belief that a marketing letter needs to sound formal.
Your high school English teacher might approve, but prospective clients aren't impressed. Face it, formal writing is stiff and boring, and no one reads "stiff and boring" unless they have to. And they don't have to read your letter.
A good sales letter is conversational
It sounds like you're talking to an individual person about a subject that interests both of you. And what interests them is how you can solve their problems. They aren't the least bit interested in whether your sentences would be grammatically acceptable in an English class.
So don't worry about perfect grammar – worry about perfect communication.
You can begin sentences with "and" or "but," and you can end them with a preposition. You can also get away with a sentence fragment here and there.
On the other hand – you mustn't get TOO far away from the rules of grammar. Otherwise, communication will suffer as much as if you started talking in "whereases" and "howtofores."
- You do need to stick with a sentence structure that people understand.
- You do need to say "their," and not "there" when you're speaking of something belonging to someone.
- You do need to avoid run-on sentences and misplaced modifiers.
And you do need to avoid the little speech habits that detract from your message. For instance, if you've picked up the "like" habit somewhere along the way, you need to weed it out of your copy. (And your spoken vocabulary.)
What's the "like" habit?
It's when you like tell people about your like afternoon and you say you took some like buyers to see like a house.
Seriously - I always thought it was something people (mostly teens) said without thinking - but I have actually seen this in a couple of blogs!
And it's like - so uncool.
Image courtesy of Dreamstine.