17 Ways To Make Sure Your Home WON'T SELL.

Reblogger Karen Steed
Real Estate Agent with Tallapoosa, Bremen, Waco, Buchanan, Temple, Carrollton Licensed in GA & AL

The Christiansen Real Estate Team shares a tongue in cheek look at selling your home.   They share 17 Ways to Make Sure Your Home Won't Sell.  If you see yourself in any of these tips, ask for help.  Hope you enjoy a laugh or two.  Thanks Christiansens!

If you need assistance with real estate in West Georgia or East Alabama call Karen Steed at Haralson Realty 770-574-9221 or 678-521-3585 (cell)

Original content by Amanda Christiansen

17.  List it for 200% of it's true value. 

16.  List it as a four bedroom instead of a three.  When the buyers get there...  SURPRISE!  Only three!

15.  Paint the entire inside bright yellow with a Sponge Bob theme throughout.  

14.  Get three giant angry dogs and leave them loose during showings. 

13.  Require one full week's notice for showings.  

12.  Draw three outlines of bodies with police tape across them on the living room carpet.  

11.  Stay home for the showings and sing show tunes to the buyers and their agent the entire time they are there.  Remember to sing loudly and out of tune.

10.  Boil a few dozen eggs right before the showing so the entire house smells like farts.

9.  Have a bunch of friends over before the showing.  Have each of them hide in a closet and scream each time a buyer opens the closet door.  

8.  Put the wrong keys in the lock box.

7.  Stay home for the showing and follow the buyers around and tell them all the reasons you hate living there. 

6.  Do #7 again, but make sure you just ate something really garlicky and talk very close to them.  

5.  Leave a note on the table that says to be careful in bedroom four, but don't leave a reason why.  

4.  If it's during the summer, lay out during the showing wearing only a purple speedo and a swim cap.  Oh, make sure that you have your Def Leppard CD cranked up too.  

3.  Put up an old spooky picture on the fridge.  On a post-it note below it write:  RIP Aunt Mildred.  You will be missed when we finally move.  We hope you enjoy haunting the new owners for the next 150 years.  

2.  Leave a note for the buyers asking them to "please excuse the mess" in the attic.  Go on to explain just how hard it is to remove all of the black mold, but you're almost there.  

1.  Stay for the showing, put on your helmet made out of tin foil, and sit on the couch and stare at the TV the entire time without moving or blinking.  (The blinking part is very important!)


Okay, that's all I can think of today.  Hope you laughed.  Time to get back to work!

 Whether you are buying, selling, downsizing, or relocating to Fort Wayne...


260.704.0843 or JaredChristiansen@remax.net



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Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Sellers have some pie in the sky, crazy creative methods for the pricing of property listings, real estate. Had a seller ask me how high to list so it would not sell. He was trying to appease his kids who thought after their mother, his wife died, he should high tail it to where they were out of state. He was happy in his home and if moved would be all alone, have to start over and the kids are off working, with their kids so not much point to give up the familiar church, surroundings in a paid for home he felt comfortable in.

Feb 04, 2012 01:55 AM #1
Dan Hopper
Dan Hopper - Gold Way RE - Westminster, CO
Denver Realtor / Author / Advocate/Short Sale

Thanks for positng these 17 ways to NOT sell your house, Karen.  Tonque in cheek may have been created for the chuckle, but let's be honest... we all come across a seller that really wants us to work these ideas into our marketing plan.  We learn real quick, like the first meeting, that these type of sellers are NOT sellers, just a waste of time.

Feb 04, 2012 02:03 AM #2
Stephanie Ransom Wilson
Advantage Real Estate - Cullman, AL
Cullman, AL Realtor, ePro, ABR, QSC

Thanks for the laugh! How scary would it be if I told you I have shown houses with at least a couple of those scenarios? Ah, dealing with the homesellers......sometimes a little crazy & unbelievable!!

Feb 04, 2012 02:23 AM #3
Karen Steed
Tallapoosa, Bremen, Waco, Buchanan, Temple, Carrollton - Tallapoosa, GA
Associate Broker Haralson Realty

Andrew - I know, sometimes sellers don't want to sell.  Did you list it high for him?

Dan - Sounds like you could add some items to the list...

Stephanie - I'm in Tallapoosa, GA, so I am not surprised at anything that happens in Alabama.  I have listed and sold in east Alabama, and I have been scared a few times over there.  I really like white background on your photo.

I hope you never have a seller on the list again.

Feb 04, 2012 11:41 AM #4
Amanda Christiansen
Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843 - Fort Wayne, IN
Christiansen Group Realty

Hey Karen!  Thanks so much for the reblog!  :)                                                                                           

Feb 05, 2012 12:37 AM #5
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Karen Steed

Associate Broker Haralson Realty
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