5 Highest and Best Ways NOT to Sell Your Home!

Real Estate Broker/Owner with RE/MAX Home Experts

5 Highest and Best Ways NOT to Sell Your Home!

HINT: Overpricing is not here as that is such a common, obvious point.

Be the Zookeeper - Through years of determination, laziness and complete loss of senses (smell mainly), you find it charming and cute that your house resembles the monkey junction at the local zoo. Yes, you were correct Mr. and Mrs. Seller - that IS exactly what people are looking for!  Add $5,000!

It's Okay to Show Your Home While Practicing for America's Worst Cook - Yes, there are some of us who really want to buy a house that reeks of fried fish and cabbage. In fact, add $10,000 on top of my current offer!

Forcing Buyers and Agents to Re-enact a Scene from The Hurt Locker - I'm a dog lover, and there is nothing more I love than picking up doggie doo doo and even stepping in it. It's especially great when a client's kid, upon wanting to see the amazing yard (yes, at times we agents are crazy enough to try and point out nice features of a home), is rolling around in it. Add $10,000!

Mi Casa is Su Casa - I especially love and value the homeowner to greet us at the door and, while being a tour guide, tell us ALL about how great their house is. It REALLY works! 1st, I believe your sincerity particularly since you are not biased. 2nd, your charm and warmth Mr. and Mrs. Seller just wants me to pay more if you stay along with the house! INCLUSIONS: Refrigerator, Washer & Dryer, Mr. and Mrs. Seller, All in As-Is Condition. Add $5,000!

Fort Knox - Hmmmm. I get it. I see your approach Mr. and Mrs. Seller. Of course I don't expect you to have a lockbox on the property and make it easy to ACCESS. Silly me for thinking that, when selling a product, by making it as available as possible to be seen, it will sell faster and for a greater price. If you treat the property like the pentagon, with secrets and all, then of course it becomes worth more (to Soviet Spies maybe). Add $5,000!

After carefully evaluating the added value you bring to the property, I am revising my suggested selling price of $200,000 to  $235,000.


Whew! Thank goodness I'm paid on commission! This works out great!


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Monica Flores

This is hilarious!!  Love this blog!!

Sep 23, 2012 09:30 AM #1
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John Benson

Broker/Owner - Philadelphia Real Estate
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