Lack of Commitment

By
Industry Observer

According to the New York Times, the majority of births to women under thirty years old occur outside marriage.  The article suggests that a lack of commitment is the prevailing cause for women choosing to go it alone.  With our social standards seeming to be evolving to striving for mediocrity, it's no wonder that we are approaching a point where nothing worth achieving is worth achieving.  

I don't think that the choice of unmarried pregnant women to remain unmarried, or for women who want children to feel compelled to marry first is necessarily a wrong choice.  Rather it is indicative of a trend toward rejection of anything that is perceived as commitment. 

Maybe the social trend toward rejecting commitment is part of the reason we are becoming a nation of renters.  Maybe my past criticism of the current political administration is unjustified.  Maybe the president is not trying to turn America into a nation of renters.  Maybe we are already a nation of renters, not just of housing, but also of jobs without commitment, and interpersonal relationships without commitment.  We lease cars, change jobs without hardly a serious thought, even rent pets.  Everything many of us do comes with a built in expiration date, and many of us like it that way.

Is the old model of deliberately establishing emotional, psychological, economic, and social roots coming to an end?  Perhaps it is, but I'm not comfortable with the changes.

Posted by

 Mike Carlier  Lakeville, MN

 

612-916-3033

 

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Ambassador
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Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner
Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA
Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

There is no consequences anymore to anything...and the kids are suffering. I hate to see what will be the norm in 30 years, maybe I won't see it. Sad

Feb 18, 2012 02:19 AM #1
Rainmaker
1,259,496
Wallace S. Gibson, CPM
Gibson Management Group, Ltd. - Charlottesville, VA
LandlordWhisperer

IMHO * if we had MORE women in government, we would have a balanced BUDGET and priorities in the right order.

It's MEN who need to be scared!

Feb 18, 2012 02:32 AM #2
Rainmaker
522,422
Mike Carlier
Lakeville, MN
More opinions than you want to hear about.

Karen, what seems to be important is that we all learn to blame someone else. 

Wallace, I'm not exactly sure what you're heading toward, but I'll admit that I'm scared. 

Feb 18, 2012 02:52 AM #3
Rainer
147,792
Michael S. Bolton
Michael S. Bolton,Inc. - Zimmerman, MN
MN Appraiser

I agree with Karen and Wallace. People need to learn to deal (suffer) from the choices they make, it's a learning process. We have to take responsibility now, quit kicking the can down the road.

And for heavens sake lets get have a woman president, because that's what it'll probably take to whip that place up into shape.

Have a AWESOME day!

Feb 18, 2012 04:35 AM #4
Ambassador
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Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Mike - I'm a little confused by this. I don't think there is a greater commitment you can make in life than to have children. It just may be that the institution of marriage has become less relevant, for whatever reason, and the two are no longer as inextricably linked as they have been in the past. I don't know if that's good, bad or not really the point - but I'm pretty sure the future is going to be different than the past.

Feb 18, 2012 05:15 AM #5
Rainmaker
3,985,569
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Mike, that is interesting after I read a few days ago that teen births were down.

Feb 18, 2012 06:09 AM #6
Rainmaker
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Lindsey Hasford
Edina Realty - Elk River, MN
Bringing you home...

Mike. I read this article this morning. It's is a bit disheartening to me. I am bringing up boys in a nation that is headed in a direction that I don't understand but it started long ago. Children of divorced parents see it easier to have children outside of marriage because it has to hurt less to avoid the breakage of commitment than to have it at all.

Another trend I'm seeing is the need of the parents to hire out daycare in the evenings as well as during the day. I am seeing a LOT of parents that don't spend much time with their little ones at all. But, at the same time,  there is also another trend of parents that don't EVER leave their children with outside providers.

The future will certainly look different than today. I only hope that it's a future that is bright and full of hope for the young'uns.

Feb 18, 2012 08:25 AM #7
Rainmaker
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Mike Carlier
Lakeville, MN
More opinions than you want to hear about.

Dick, is marriage becoming less relevant?  Perhaps it is, but the reason may be that it carries with it a certain level of commitment that social norms are rejecting.  Having a child is not necessarily as great a commitment as making a life long commitment to another adult.  Our commitment to a child is only about eighteen years with a definite end game visible.

Lindsey, maybe I'm being too cynical, but it appears that having children is perceived by some folks as a status symbol, similar to having a champion dog.  Hire someone to care for and train them, and then put the virtual trophies on the mantle for the admiration of acquaintances.  My philosophy, far from unique, has been that it's a responsibility and a privilege to have and raise kids to adulthood, and that one goal should be to assure as smooth and deliberate as possible road from birth to maturity and total independence. 

Back to the topic, it does seem that lack of commitment in all facets of our lives is becoming a widespread goal.

 

Feb 19, 2012 01:30 AM #8
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Rainmaker
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Mike Carlier

More opinions than you want to hear about.
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