Tough Conversations Are Just Tough
Have you had to have any tough conversations recently? The kind which keep you up at night. The kind which make your heart jump a beat. The kind which cause your palms to sweat as you think about it. These conversations are just tough.
You may face these differently than I do, but we all must face them. Many may decide to avoid them. Run from them. But in the end, having these conversations will help us grow if we allow them to.
When I was a young pastor, wet behind the ears and lacking the experience to realize the danger having tough conversations may create, I opened one up. I was visiting a man who had a terminal illness. Through our times together, we came to know each other. At one point in time, I mentioned that it was sometimes beneficial for a person to help plan his/her funeral. I asked, “Would you like to do that?” He immediately answered, “Yes, I would.”
I scheduled the meeting for the next week. This man’s wife and his adult daughter were to be present. I invited another colleague to attend as well. It was a time of planning and an open conversation. It took me a bit to realize the wife and daughter did not seem to appreciate the conversation as much as I and the husband/father did.
Several months later, after this man died and we had completed the funeral service he helped plan, we had a fellowship meal. At the end of this meal for family and friends, the daughter pulled me aside. “I did not like the time we talked about the funeral service. I was uncomfortable. But now that we are here, I am really glad we had it. It made today so meaningful. Thank you!” The look of her eyes helped me realize that tough conversations have the potential to bring great blessing into our lives.
Who might you need to have one of these tough conversations with? Your spouse? A child? A co-worker? A client? A subordinate? The fear of this conversation may be keeping you from reaching a greater depth in the relationship, a greater level of trust. What is keeping your from having it?
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