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Do Buyers Get The Blues? ~ Music on Mondays

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC NC# 218097

Do buyers get the blues? Sometimes...how could they not? Especially when there’s a little of them here…a little of them there…one person is on this front…the other is on the other home front. There might be a new job involved or a new town. New jobs mean meeting new people and learning new skill sets…sometimes it means no one’s familiar face is at the dinner table when you finally collapse in exhaustion at your "not really yours" home. Change usually can be a very good thing and it's all necessary to keep our brains and bodies involved and intact.  However...it’s all tiring.

Add to all of that, the buyer might be in temporary rental housing AND committed to making a good decision on permanent housing. They’ve got no place to call their own…to really relax and nest. Who wants to move twice? Everyone wants their stuff…our stuff brings us comfort, joy, peace, inspiration. To each their own, maybe it’s the buyers’ musical instruments are missing, they can't find the corkscrew, the grocery store doesn't have their favorite ice cream or they discover their favorite coffee mug is at the other house. They miss their partners, their kids, their pets, their art on the wall, their familiar touches of memories throughout the house.

Intellectually they know this path leads to a better life but emotions could care less about intellect. Usually we can harness our emotions so they only rule moments of our day but then there are days or nights that emotions claim victory...well, that's when the blues just have to be embraced.

 

A funny thing happens when you face your blues and name your fears. The veil gets lifted and the path is clear to see. Be patient with your buyers, some of them are transitioning in many directions…all at once. Acknowledge their feelings, support their process and help them move forward to regaining the control that only your OWN place with your OWN stuff can give you.

 

Doris Day seemed like a fine choice today. Her repertoire includes the entire range of emotions with that incredible voice and diction.

How can we help our buyers during their bouts with the blues? Listen, listen, listen. Help them define their neighborhood and specifics they are looking for in a house. Do the heavy lifting in this one area…they are probably already dancing as fast as they can. 

Do buyers get the blues? What do you think?

 

 

 

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Tree Dude Border 1 copyright 2012 Mona Gersky

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Show All Comments Sort:
Clint Mckie
Desert Sun Home, commercial Inspections - Carlsbad, NM
Desert Sun Home, Comm. Inspection 1-575-706-5586

Hello Mona,

Good choice.

I grew up watching Doris Day in movies and hearing her sing.

She was a great lady and singer as well. Good choice to "kick the blues" with.

Best, Clint McKie 

Feb 19, 2012 08:45 PM
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

This is a great post and explains BUYER REMORSE.  Thanks for the post.I will share it with others.

Feb 19, 2012 08:45 PM
Brenda Mayette
Miranda Real Estate Group, Inc. - Glenville, NY
Getting results w/ knowledge & know-how!

Nice post, Mona! You clearly illustrate that sometimes the most effective thing we can do is turn the computer off, put the car in park, and have a chat with our buyers... A true-blue, good ol' fashioned conversation during which we LISTEN!!!

Feb 19, 2012 08:54 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Doris Day....I grew up with her as well. Do buyers get the blues on Monday? I think they do!

Feb 19, 2012 09:04 PM
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

Hi Clint, I grew up with parents who grew up with Doris Day, lol!  Glad you liked it and I'm wishing you a great day in New Mexico.

Good Morning Gita, I wasn't really thinking about Buyer Remorse as much as I was all the emotions swirling around in a buyer's head while they are processing everything else that is coinciding with the purchase of a house.  Buyers' Remorse to me would be more like a temporary form of post partum.  Once they've dealt with that change I think most buyers are very happy with their new digs.  But you are right...these songs would work very well for that scenario also! Thanks for sharing.

Brenda, it goes against our nature as agents but it is usually better for the buyer and for us to just take a deep breath...maybe several...and get back to work.  Listening makes for better searching and much better decisions.

Feb 19, 2012 09:07 PM
Harry F. D'Elia III
WEDO Real Estate and Beyond, LLC - Phoenix, AZ
Investor , Mentor, GRI, Radio, CIPS, REOs, ABR

It is tough out there for regular buyers because they are competing against cash buyers. Play the song

Feb 19, 2012 09:40 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Mona,

You bet buyers get the blues! It's hard transitioning to a new area. The lives of everyone in the family is in an upheaval. Being aware and making yourself available to listen will make all the difference in your buyer's getting through this bump in the road we call life :). Great post!

Feb 19, 2012 09:42 PM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I don't recall a blues, but I recall one self proclaimed... "if it's gonna happen it's gonna happen to me" guy.  Expecting "issues" certainly seems to lead to issues.  That one was a trial for me.

Feb 19, 2012 09:46 PM
Jane & Garry Smith
Coldwell Banker Realty - Portland, ME
ABR, GRI, Realtors - Portland, ME - (207) 253-3195
Que Sera Sera! Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see.... Interesting post, Mona. We do have to listen and help our buyers stay focused on their goal.
Feb 19, 2012 09:49 PM
Leslie G. Rojohn
MoonDancer Realty - Sylva, NC
GRI, ABR ~ MoonDancer Realty

Sometimes, as Realtors, we are so caught up in our own needs to make a living that we can forget that buyers are real live people with real live needs.  Years ago, when I was a nursing student doing a psych rotation we were taught to ask a few probing questions and then sit back and let the patient talk.  Even if the silence was hard to deal with, let them process...let them talk.  Gently probe, but let them lead.

Feb 20, 2012 01:55 AM
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

Hello Harry, sure that part...the approval part can contribute to the blues.  It's complicated, there is just so much going on to make a decision and during a "buyers'" market, choices might be overwhelming and the disparity in pricing very confusing.

Dorie, thank you.  Even in the most perfect situation...exciting new job, beautiful new area, all the amenities anyone could love...still provides those stress triggers.

Hah Tammy, I'll bet...that's like the Eeyore syndrome and much harder to work through than a case of the occasional blues. 

Jane and Garry, guess you'll have Doris on the mind today. lol. Could be worse - I might have chosen Alice Cooper videos.  You are right, we cannot "fix" what is going on with their emotions but we can be a sounding board, take a step back and find the right path forward together with our buyers.

Leslie, you are always right about this kind of thing.  Silence can be uncomfortable but it can allow the speaker to really hear what they just said and figure out what it means.  If we, as the listener do not give our buyers that opportunity to voice what's going on in their heads with this process then we do them no good at all.  To be objective and helpful we have to hear them loud and clear.

Feb 20, 2012 02:36 AM
Karen Hawkins, MBA - Langley & Surrey, BC
Royal Pro Real Estate Network - Langley, BC

Gosh, Mona, those Doris Day songs take me back...could I really be THAT old?!?  I think we all can get a little bit of the blues, so your advice to listen, listen, listen is really very valuable!

Feb 20, 2012 04:06 PM
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

Karen, you are like me...you are confusing real memories with those that your parents shared with you. lol.

Feb 20, 2012 09:06 PM
Anne M. Costello
Weidel Realtors - Yardley, PA

Mona: A recent course I attended described MSD - Moving Stress Syndrome - whether you are a seller who needs to seel, wants to sell, are a first time buer, are relocating in or out, having a baby, downsizing to a smaller home, 55+ community, kids' home, nursing home, or selling your deceased parent's home, it is all stressful, and the blues are going to be there. These are our clients, and we need to listen, and react, and address concerns and needs. Love the Doris Day retrospective. She is/was so careful about her image, I had no idea she has freckles!

Feb 20, 2012 09:17 PM
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

Anne, thanks for sharing the information about MSD. We need to respect the way our clients process the stress.  It's better that they deal with it rather than suppressing it.

Feb 22, 2012 09:50 AM