Noah in 2006-funny

Real Estate Agent with eXp REALTY & Simply Irresistible Interiors

Pre-amble- The Lord has promised to never flood the earth again...this is just a joke! :) 


In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and over -populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another ark and save 2 of every living thing along with your family."

He gave Noah the blueprints and said "You have 6 months to build the ark before I will start the rain." Six months later the Lord looked and saw that Noah was weeping in his yard, and there was no Ark! "Noah," He asked, " where is the ark? I am about to start the rain!"

"Forgive me Lord, " said Noah, " But things here have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I have violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and have exceeded the height limitations. We had to got to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear passage for the Ark's move to Sea. I told them the Sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls- but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animals rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued that the accomodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they conduct an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I 'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities that I am supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green card status of most people who want to work here. The Trade Union says I cannot use my own sons. They insist that I hire only Union Workers with Ark building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming that I am trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So forgive me Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish the Ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared and the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?"

"No, " said the Lord, " the government beat me to it."


Comments (2)

Linda Sanderson
Coldwell Banker Solano Pacific - Benicia, CA
You're right this is too funny.  What a great story!
Dec 03, 2007 10:04 AM
Teri Deane
RE/MAX 100 - Columbia, MD
Realtor, ABR, CRS, SFR - The Deane Team
This is very funny, . .and, sadly, could happen!
Dec 03, 2007 10:43 AM