Let's start with a question. What benefits would you obtain if your clients trusted you more?
- Here's our list. The more your clients trust you, the more they will
- Reach for your advice
- Be inclined to accept and act on your recommendations
- Bring you in on more advanced, complex, strategic issues
- Treat you as you wish to be treated
- Respect you
- Share more information that helps you to help them, and improves the quality of the service you provide
- Pay your bills without question
- Refer you to their friends and business acquaintances
- Lower the level of stress in your interactions
- Give you the benefit of the doubt
- Forgive you when you make a mistake
- Protect you when you need it (even from their own organization)
- Warn you of dangers that you might avoid
- Be comfortable and allow you to be comfortable
- Involve you early on when their issues begin to form, rather than later in the process (or maybe even call you first!)
- Trust your instincts and judgments (including those about other people, such as your colleagues and theirs)
We would all like to have such professional relationships!What changes would you make to this list? What would you add? Delete?
Next, let's consider three additional questions:
Do you have a trusted advisor? Someone you turn to regularly to advise you on all of your most important business, career and perhaps even personal decisions?
If you do, what are the characteristics of that person?
If you do not, what characteristics would you look for in selecting your trusted advisor?
Here is a listing of traits that our trusted advisors have in common. They
- Seem to understand us, effortlessly, and like us
- Are consistent; we can depend on them
- Always help us see things from fresh perspectives
- Don't try to force things on us
- Help us think things through (but emphasize that it's our decision)
- Don't substitute their judgment for ours
- Don't panic or get overemotional, but stay calm
- Help us think and separate our logic from our emotions
- Criticize and correct us gently, lovingly
- Don't pull their punches: we can rely on them to tell us the truth
- Are in it for the long haul (the relationship is more important than the current issue)
- Give us reasoning (to help us think), not just their conclusions
- Give us options, increase our understanding of those options, give us their recommendation and let us choose.
- Challenge our assumptions: help us uncover the false assumptions we've been working under
- Make us feel comfortable and casual personally (but take the issues seriously)
- Act like a person, not someone in a role
- Are reliably on our side, and always seem to have our interests at heart
- Remember everything we ever said (without notes)
- Are always honorable: they don't gossip about others (we trust their values)
- Help us put our issues in context, often through the use of metaphors, stories and anecdotes (they recognize that few problems are completely unique)
- Have a sense of humor to diffuse (our) tension in tough situations
- Are smart (sometimes in ways we're not)
What would you add to (or delete from) this list?
Using the golden rule (we should treat others as we wish to be treated) we can probably make a fair assumption (or at least a good first approximation) that this list, or your list, is not much different from a list your clients would make.
So, if you want your clients to treat you as their trusted advisor, then you must meet as many of the ?tests? on this list as possible.
Ask yourself, ?Which of these traits do my clients think I possess?? (Not what you think you possess, but what they think you do!) If you suspect that you might not demonstrate all these traits, then how do you get better at each of them? That's what this book will try to answer.
Note that this book is not (just) about the wonderful benefits that wait at the end of the rainbow for the fully-fledged trusted advisor who does (or is) everything listed here. The early benefits of beginning to earn trust are substantial and can be obtained quickly. The ability to earn trust is a learnable skill, and we shall try in the succeeding pages to show ?the yellow brick road? that leads to success.