I Promise to Love, Cherish ... and Pay My Bills??

Gene -- it is so often the case that something like this will be the stick that breaks the camel's back in the relationship, sometimes before they get through the process, and sometimes after.  It is very disheartening to see someone who has the right ideas get their financial scores damaged by the non-participating partner. 
It is hard indeed not to give "fatherly" advice in such situations.

Good morning Gene,

Always trust your gut - unfortunately for her, you are most likely right to be skeptical about his "commitment".

Have a great day!

Hi Gene.     I have to get this  post in the hands of a few young couples that I know and care about.    You make excellent points!  

As I was reading this, I was wondering if you were working with the same buyers as I am. LOL  I too have an unmarried couple looking to buy a home. But SHE is pushing this thing a long while HE has not done much. If I need anything, I know to contact her directly and/or at least CC her on any emails that are sent in reply to his questions.

One of my agents is working with two young couples and she has mentioned this scenario several times.   It is so interesting how opposites attract.

Gene, this is important stuff.  I always suggest that my unmarried buyers get what I call a "NoNup", where they sit down with a lawyer who explains the ramifications of what they are doing. 

Gene: I've seen first time buyers who are unmarried couples go the Dave Ramsey route, or get counselling at a nonprofit credit counseling center and others go their separate ways, with one continuing to purchase a home. Making this huge commitment is the ideal time to analyze how each individual looks at money, saving, spending, future goals, etc. 

Hey, Gene!  I included this post in Last Week's Favorites.  Have a great week.

Gene, I missed this valuable post and arrived thanks to Patricia's favorites. Your description is right on the mark to being a trend, especially in Gen X and even Y home buyers. Maybe there is just something scary in the word "30" year mortgage. I'm not sure. Perhaps, domestic partner legislation could not only provide protect but become another way to educate home buyers today.

Gene:

I see this situation often enough in young people that I am really concerned with their future.  I think they were given everything they wanted when they were younger and they don't have a good handle on how to save or economize. 

I used to write blog posts for a company that "sold free credit reports," so did a lot of reading about credit, credit scoring, etc.

One thing I learned is that it's best NOT to marry someone if they can't handle money and have terrible credit. If they want to learn and clean it up, then let them do that first. Otherwise, your own credit gets pulled down when you add them to accounts, etc. And of course, if you try to make a joint purchase you'll either be turned down or pay higher interest.

One more thing - why in the heck don't they teach money management in high school? Or even grade school? They teach math - but not how to balance a checkbook.

Hi Gene..

   agreed.....and we see financial reasons as a huge reason for divorce...Reality is usually that one person in a marriage is in charge of bill paying etc....and I see no harm and much sense in that...however, that does not mean that they don't have financial meetings...common understanding and goals...our own financial meetings began before we were married and continue to this day....being on the same ledger page is essential in many ways.