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Negotiating With Difficult People

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Real Estate Agent with Oregon First

Negotiating With Difficult People

By Wayne B. Pruner

http://www.yourhomeinportlandoregon.com/

Wayne's Portland Oregon area Real Estateblog

www.activerain.com/waynepruner

I had a meeting  with a seller the other day while his agent was present. My clients liked this house, but it was over-priced. The offers and counter-offers going back and forth were getting nowhere, so I requested a face to face meeting without my clients present. The agent was cordial and professional through all this, but I sensed she had an over-bearing seller.

This guy was a bully right from the beginning. A real piece of work. He yelled, showed fits of anger, and his verbal abuse was meant to intimidate me. Basically, he was not a happy person. Kind of pitiful actually. Why did he act this way? Because difficult behavior works in the short run!

This tactic is usually the approach of one-dimensional negotiators. The outrageous demands and irrational or abusive behavior is how these people get what they want. Real estate agents need to be able to deal with this behavior since we represent our buyers. We do not have the option to walk away just because the seller is unpleasant. Statement such as, "You're insulting me with that offer." "Don't you know a good deal when you see one?" And "Are you stupid or what?" are calculated ploys to lessen your resolve.

Just remain calm and let them blow themselves out. Then stand up for yourself and calmly assert your position. No argument, yelling, sarcasm, or antagonizing. Don't respond with an abusive torrent of your own. Don't allow interruptions. If you are interrupted, just say, "You interrupted me. Let me finish." Don't apologize. This is taken as a sign of weakness by these people. Once he realized that he could not intimidate me, the negotiations shifted to a less hostile atmosphere.

 

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I can save you money on buying, selling, and owning a home in Tigard Oregon.

Tigard real estate agent

Wayne B. Pruner, GRI, Realtor, Principal Real Estate Broker - Oregon First

Mobile phone: 503-891-0795

email:  waynepruner@oregonfirst.com

website: Tigard Oregon Homes

Licensed in the State of Oregon

Comments(15)

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Steve Glose
Keller Williams Legacy - Orlando, FL
TRC, CIPS, 407-616-7286, Orlando Real Estate, Orla
Great post Wayne. I think most agents would become submissive and give into this type of client. Then there are the high "D" personalities who will challenge them.
Dec 11, 2007 11:42 AM
Kelley Eling
Fathom Realty Group - Sonoma, CA
Realtor Extraordinaire

I presented an offer to a seller that hired a "minimum service provider" -- essentially she is doing it herself and NOT doing herself any favors.  At the first meeting she said that she wished she had gone with a full service provider, like myself, but felt that she wanted to hang in there since she'd gotten this far.

Anyway, her property is outrageously overpriced.  I presented the comparable sold listings and then presented our offer.  She said, "It looks like 2005 was the best time to sell."  And in the very next sentence felt justified that her home would sell for 246K MORE than the most recent comparable property.

Nice, but very unrealistic.

We will wait and resubmit after she has had time to think about it.

Dec 11, 2007 11:43 AM
Konnie Mac McCarthy
MacNificent Properties, LLC - Cobb Island, MD
Broker/Owner - VA & MD "Time To Get A Move On!"
I have never understood why people act that way....it is alwasy my goal, in a deal, that everyone give and take...people like that end up losing....(particularly when they are the seller)
Dec 11, 2007 11:44 AM
Joe Olmi
La Entrada Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Yeah...well said!  I have had a similar experience with an owner/broker.  The deal almost fell apart, but we were able to get it done.
Dec 11, 2007 11:47 AM
Dan Gobis
Re/Max Newport Realty Corp. - Racine, WI

Negotiating, be it with difficult Sellers or difficult Buyers, is our job. Positioning ourselves as a fiduciary for our client is why we are compensated. A job well done is rewarded.

Dec 11, 2007 12:03 PM
Michelle Way
AVALAR Pro Realty - Jackson, MS
ABR, GRI, WCR
It is sad these are the same people that sit with us in Church on Sunday.
Dec 11, 2007 12:20 PM
Dan Gobis
Re/Max Newport Realty Corp. - Racine, WI

Michelle, As one of my holier than thou friends explained to me some time ago, "One reason we go to church to be forgiven, church is full of sinners looking for forgiveness, and to repent."

 

Dec 11, 2007 12:25 PM
Wayne B. Pruner
Oregon First - Tigard, OR
Tigard Oregon Homes for Sale, Realtor, GRI

Michelle and Dan: I hadn't thought about the church angle. Are we not to practice the "Golden Rule?"

It's unfortunate that we have to deal with these people, but it is our job. Thankfully it does not happen all that often.

Dec 11, 2007 12:42 PM
Carol Culkin
Diamond Partners Inc - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Residential Real Estate
Money brings out the evil in people. And by the way, this seller does not sound like a church goer. Wayne - by not caving in you showed him who the better person is. Good luck with it!
Dec 11, 2007 12:51 PM
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX

Hi Wayne! You must be working with some of my clients! It can get bad can't it? I like your advice on the "posture" to take with an irate person. I have found that the best way to get a Realtor riled is by mentioning a lessened commission. I wish I were kidding...

Hey, You have got to learn to copy and paste! I will help if I can but if you go to the search bar on the front page of AR I'll bet you can find a blog that will teach you how! Type in "copy and paste" and see what comes up. Now if it doesn't come up and you still need help I will offer to walk you through it. We can schedule a time that we can both be at a computer and a phone. It will only take me ten minutes. I just taught my husband the other day!! It'll open a whole new world. Good luck! Deb

Dec 12, 2007 07:59 AM
Wayne B. Pruner
Oregon First - Tigard, OR
Tigard Oregon Homes for Sale, Realtor, GRI
Debra: Thanks for the offer. My posts do look bland compared to others. It takes me long enough to type up my posts without adding pictures and graphics. Obviously that stuff comes really easy to people around here, but not to me.
Dec 12, 2007 09:51 AM
Wayne B. Pruner
Oregon First - Tigard, OR
Tigard Oregon Homes for Sale, Realtor, GRI

Well Donna, I don't think he is mad at you, he's mad at the messenger. He expected to get a certain price and now he can't because of market conditions. Investing is not for the faint of heart. There are ups and downs. How long has he owned this tract? The offer may not cover what he needs to get out of it if he purchased it recently. Forget about a counter right now. I would go back to the buyer and explain the situation and see if the offer can be sweetened. Get as much information as you can from and about the buyer and go back to your seller. Prove to the seller that you are working on his behalf. Keep the doors open to both parties.

Some other angles are:

You need to get more into your sellers' head and find out what motivates him. I become best friends with my clients. They hear from me or see me every week, even if I have nothing new to report. It's hard to be rude to people you like and who are working hard for you. What does he expect to do with the proceeds if he sells the property? Was this an investment for him? Has he invested in property before? Even if this deal does not happen, he may soften his stance with you.

If there is any chance to make a deal, take them both out to lunch and have a face to face. What have you got to loose? You do not need an accepted offer to do this.

If the buyer is a builder looking for land, maybe the seller can carry a contract with a down payment. The builder could save on carrying charges and have more cash available for building. As the lots are sold, the seller gets paid and will eventually net more money.

If the buyer is not a builder, the seller can carry the contract for several years and still have a bigger net because of interest being paid and taxes being deferred.

It is possible that the buyer may be impressed with your effort, and give you future business, even if this deal fails.

Some deals can't be made. A seller that will not talk to you is a bad sign. Some relationships can't be saved. Sometimes over priced listing are not worth the aggravation, especially in this case. This is a decision you have to make. With the information you have given me, loosing this listing is not all that bad.

I hope I have helped some. Good luck.

PS A buildable 30 acres out here would be worth a fortune! There aren't any left that I know of.

 

Mar 27, 2008 12:36 PM
J Perrin Cornell
Coldwell Banker Cascade Real Estate - Wenatchee, WA
Broker, ABR, VAMRES

Your comments are great. But you left out duck...I had a seller (I was buyers agent) throw an ashtray at me...but we came back and stood our ground and did get the house. Thought I had my doubts.

A theme that seems to be running through the comments is sellers agents having a difficult time. Three suggestions...keep in contact all the time... a weekly call can do a lot to help set up an offer when it comes... but if you are a stranger be ready to get yelled at. Next, show the seller at a listing that a) it might not appraise and what that means... or what happens to returns on over priced houses and finally...stick to your price and learn to say no. You are the professional... your not just answering a call.

Mar 29, 2008 02:39 AM
Gene Allen
Fathom Realty - Cary, NC
Realty Consultant for Cary Real Estate
It's a shame but we meet all kinds.  It is good to know that often by letting someone rant and rave they will eventually stop and settle down a bit.
Mar 29, 2008 02:57 AM
Kim Peasley-Parker
AgentOwned Realty, Heritage Group, Inc. - Sumter, SC
Wayne,  Thank you for the interesting post.  I have come across people like this and I listen and then take a deep breath and remain calm.  Unfortunately many times it has been the other agent and not the buyer or seller.  I just listen and then use the facts to back me up.
Mar 29, 2008 06:38 AM