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Caruso Funny ~ Job Ad Meanings

By
Real Estate Agent with Surterre Properties

 

Ever wanted to know what is behind those standard phrases in job ads?

It is all being revealed now, just read on...

 

The real meaning of words in Job Ads

 

COMPETITIVE SALARY:

We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

 

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:

We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself

to your co-workers.

 

SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:

....who still live with their parents and won't mind our

entry-level salaries.

 

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:

We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, we don't

shave around here and wear our tats with pride

 

JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:

We all listen to nutty motivational tapes.

 

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:

You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

 

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:

Some time each night and some time each weekend.

 

DUTIES WILL VARY:

Anyone in the office can boss you around.

 

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:

We have no quality control, so you better get it right

 

COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:

Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like

philosophy or English.

 

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:

We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal

formality.

 

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:

You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

 

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:

You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

 

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:

You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or

respect.

 

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and

then do

 

ha ha ha!

Posted by

 

We Are Now Accepting Qualified Listings

Call Today for More Info on Our 

Distinctive Marketing Plans

 

 

And thank you for making me Your Orange County Real Estate Connection.     

www.MichaelCarusoRealEstate.com

Best regards,

Michael Caruso, Broker Associate ABR ABRM CLHMS CRB CRS GREEN GRI

Surterre Properties

Past President, Orange County Association of Realtors (949) 495-8600

 

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Comments (6)

Sharon Lord
Maracay Homes - Peoria, AZ
New Home Advisor

Michael - ain't those the truth!  Heh!  Want ads are always interesting....what do they REALLY mean...?  See above!

Mar 22, 2012 07:46 AM
Vern Eaton
Askov, MN
Realtor 651-674-7449

I can say over the years I have seen many of these and I believe that the explanations are very close

Mar 22, 2012 07:49 AM
Kathy Sheehan
Bay Equity, LLC 770-634-4021 - Atlanta, GA
Senior Loan Officer

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:

Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and

then do"


I think there may be a story there!

Mar 22, 2012 08:16 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

I love this Job Speak translation Michael. VERY true.....

Mar 22, 2012 08:33 AM
Bryan Robertson
Los Altos, CA

So many of those are way too true!  The no calls bullet is absolutely spot on.  I used to hire folks internally but the HR people would post ads anyway just to cover their butts.

Mar 22, 2012 08:48 AM
Michael A. Caruso
Surterre Properties - Laguna Niguel, CA

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the post, and everytime I see a flyer posted to a sign or pole sying " Real Estate Investor Seeking ambitious, motivated, energetic person...", I cringe.  :/ 

Have a good weekend, everybody!

Mar 24, 2012 03:17 AM