How do you handle conflict?

I hate conflict! But I love your tips. It is okay to disagree, and there is an appropriate way to do it. Sounds like you understand and handle it well!

I dislike conflict as well.  However, sometimes it is inevitable. I try to calm down and really understand where the other person is coming from. I have found that making sure the other side gets a voice, helps to calm the situation down.  When I took the mediation classes, I discovered that a big sense of frustration and anger (as it relates to real estate) is people feeling that they are not being heard.  Repeating what they are saying back to them and showing you at least understand their point does wonders to diffuse a situation sometimes.  But I would be lying if I didnt say that when Ive had enough, I have had enough and all that stuff goes out the window. You will find me praying for forgiveness in those situations.

Cal, unfortunately we handle conflict differently with different people. Or most of us do.

I developed better habits of active listening, clarifying what a person was saying and asking questions rather than assuming I knew what another person meant.

THIS is exactly what we need to do all the time. Great post.

Cal -- You're right. Conflict IS ok. You just have to know/learn how to clarify and NOT assume. Contentiousl situations can be easily diffused by following your steps above.

Conflict will be part of real estate. It is best to meet it head on and not avoid it.

Conflict is a tough one. The key is to find that perfect balance between being agressive enough to get your point across and stand up for youself, but stay respectful and diplomatic. You offer some great tips to do that.

Gretchen

Cal,

How do I handle conflict?  Oh, I yell and scream.  No, just kidding!  I used to work for Eastern Airlines in New York, and we got a lot of really pissed off people walking into our office.  They trained us to listen.  Really listen to what the pissed off passenger was saying and then to maybe perhaps fix it.  It was complicated.  But it was about listening when they were yelling.  It works.

~Stay away always try to avoid conflict, but conflict can't beat us down! Great blog!

Cal, You handle yourself very well in your blog posts and in comments in which you  want to further discuss an opinion expressed.   

Cal:

I try to avoid conflict.  It is an uncomfortable situation for me.  But when I can't avoid it I try to listen to what the other person is saying and ask questions so I fully understand what they are saying.  then I try to find common ground with the other person.  If that doesn't work, I walk away. 

Conflict?  Avoiding it has caused so many problems.

Hi Cal--these are excellent points.  I learned a very long time ago that the best way to deal with conflict was to stay calm and focused.  I also learned not to avoid conflict because it always gets much worse and harder to deal with if you let it keep growing. 

Opporunity is always present in conflict; therefore, conflict can work to one's advantage, if handled correctly.

maybe i'm getting older and wiser, maybe not, however, at this stage of my life i'm willing to admit that i've made mistakes, lots of mistakes, so i could be wrong.

that's the approach i take to situations which look like a conflict is developing, or already has. it has opened a lot of doors for me, and by the way it's very truthful.

Cal,

These are all good ideas to resolve conflict.

Thanks for sharing!

Kevin

A lot of great posts, now what do you do when your supposed to be older and wiser but instead are just old and cranky and completely feed up with the crap many people want to feed your mind and soul with the goal of only taking and never giving. When I was a kid my parents told me not to fight, to walk away, but if I had to fight to follow the Marquis of Qeensbury rules or whatever they are called, You know, don't hit below the belt, fight fair, etc.

Well one day a new kid in town a couple of years older then me and bigger liked to take my penny candy away when I left the corner store. One day I had enough and stood my ground and the fight started and I followed the rules, the bully didn't. My dad happened to be going by and watched a short while and then drove up and rolled down the window and said he was wrong, if the enemy is fighting dirty, you fight dirty, there is no glory in getting beat to death by fighting fair when your enemy is doing you in by fighting dirty, and then he drove off. Well 5 minutes later the bully was running away and that became my rule, avoid the conflict and the fight if you can. If you have to fight, fight fair,  but if they don't want to fight fair and it's happening to you on the streets, all the ivory tower noble thoughts won't save your rear end and if you have to fight make it total war or surrender. I'm not Catholic but once had a priest tell me turning the other check most of the time just resulted in the other check getting slapped but if that happened take heed.