The Glamorous Real Estate Life!

Real Estate Agent with Florida Property Experts
Daytona Beach Real Estate Blog. Houses, Condos and Reports by Lisa Hill, "THE SMART CHOICE!"

real estateThe glamorous life of a REALTOR®. On come on. You know our lives are glamorous. Let's face it. All we real estate agents do is drive around in our SUVs with our magnetic riders on the sides, or in my case, my stenciled name, cell phone number, brokerage and web site across the back window, and show people houses, then show up for closing. We can't possibly do anything else, right? If we had to actually work, there would be no reason for so many people to resent our choice of career, right?

WRONG! I decided we needed a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor today.

I was just reading a post by Chris Elizabeth Griffith about how she was helping to push a car out of the driveway for one of her real estate sellers, among all the other things she'd be doing between now and the closing. I left a silly comment on her post, about us needing clones. And then my mind continued with that line of thinking. How perfect! We all need clones! Who needs an assistant when you can have your own personal clone?

  • Let's relax for a few moments and enter a little dream land where we all have clones, shall we? ... Are you there yet? I'll wait while you load a New Age MP3. OK. All set? 

So here's my list of things my real estate clone will do for me (since as the public thinks, I don't really work for my commission anyway) 

arrowThe next time I get a call from Code Enforcement because one of my sellers needs to cut their grass, I'll just send my clone over there to knock on their door and tell them. Yes, the seller lives there and the Code Enforcement employee could have told the seller in person, but since it's so much easier to just call the phone number that's on the sign in the front yard, why should they be bothered to do their own job? The REALTOR® doesn't really work anyway. So next time I'll send my clone!heat

arrowThe next time I'm standing in the sweltering heat, working the booth for FREE, at Port Orange Family Days and a random person walks up and starts yelling at me because it's the fault of all the REALTORS, that she can't afford to buy a house, I'll step back and let my clone smile and nod politely, instead of trying to get a word in edgewise. (Obviously, we control the housing prices.)

arrowAnd I'm definitely sending my clone to show houses to all the people who just wanted a tour guide and had no intentions of buying anyway.

arrowOh! Here's the perfect job for my clone. The house in Ormond by the Sea where the seller decided to install an extra bathroom without pulling permits or checking the codes... The raw sewage was running through a hose, right out into the back yard: That house was so dirty, I was afraid to touch anything. Definitely a job for the clone!

arrowFor all the buyers who don't like air conditioning in the car when it's 98 degrees outside, in the future, my clone will be assisting you.

arrowIn the summer in Florida, we can plan on daily torrential down-pours around 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon, almost like clock-work. I keep about 5 umbrellas in my car for these occasions. But in the future, I'll just let my clone handle all showings during these times. 

arrowOn Jim Crawford's post today, as I was reading his detailed description of the houses on the market that were a waste of time for himself and his buyers ... I have one word for you, Jim. CLONE!

arrowFor the seller who has not paid his/her Association Fees and thinks that by hiring an attorney, he/she can get away with providing a clear title and never have to pay those fees... CLONE! ugly house

arrowFor the time I unexpectedly brought my buyers to a filthy 1000 square foot house where the man kept his huge Great Dane INSIDE the house, where it had destroyed all flooring, doors, door jambs and more, my clone will be showing this one next time calling to cancel that showing next time.

arrowFor the cat lady house, (we've all had at least one of these) yep, that's one for the clone.

arrowFor the houses in the section of town that was so scary that I had to take my husband with me, and then even he wouldn't get out of the car!... CLONE! 

arrowWhen my seller has decided it's my fault that the home inspector discovered that no permits were pulled for the major renovations they did to their house, and they're now responsible to pay, my clone will be handling the call.

arrowWhen my buyers have lied about their income and credit rating both in the U.S. and in another country, and are shocked when their lender finds out, my clone will be taking those calls.

arrowWhen my seller decides that since nobody is living behind them, they can install their fence several feet beyond the boundaries of their property. Then they get a contract which of course calls for a survey and... you guessed it. The surveyor discloses this to the title company, thus killing their sale or forcing them to move the fence, my clone will be taking that call.

arrowFor the For Sale By Owners who call me and offer me a pittance to sell their house when I have MLS inventory coming out my ears ... Talk to the Clone!

arrowAnd for all the people who are just never going to tell the truth at any point in the transaction, don't even call. My clone can't even be bothered!

Now you may be wondering what I'll be doing. Well, I will be working with my wonderful sellers who have actually trusted my professional opinion as to the value of their property and priced it accordingly, and have now received an offer to

  • I will be presenting their offers,
  • sending all the documents to the title company,
  • working with the selling agent, or if it's my buyer I'll be personally
  • scheduling the home inspection,
  • termite inspection,
  • survey,
  • appraisal
  • and any other necessary appointments or inspections.
  • I'll also be making sure the buyer has gotten their home owner's insurance well in advance of closing, (we wouldn't want a storm to travel inside the box!)
  • is getting all the required documentation to their lender,
  • and fulfilled all of their contingencies within the time constraints of the contract.
  • I'll also be communicating with the buyer's lender or mortgage broker to make sure everything is running smoothly on their end so we have no last minute surprises.
  • Then I'll be scrutinizing the HUD-1 closing statement and
  • discussing every line with my clients to
  • make sure there are no discrepancies in the pro-rated taxes,
  • home warranty payment,
  • mortgage payoffs, etc.... 

POP!!!!  My bubble just burst. My new age MP3 just finished playing and I'm back to reality.

But wouldn't it be nice if we could just do our jobs in a perfect world? Or even better, being a REALTOR could be about working with trustworthy clients and selling houses to and for people who actually appreciate all the hard work we do.

arrowI guess now I'll go back to updating my web site with the changes to my listings, writing my next print ad, finish posting this blog to several different platforms, and tweaking my web site key words so buyers can find my listings on the internet. Maybe I'll finish by midnight, assuming I don't get anymore calls from buyers or renters to view any of my listings. Oh! And I have a mailing that needs to be finished this week. Oops. It's time to pay my annual $2000 in dues to 2 different REALTOR Associations. (I'd definitely like to take that money out of my clone's pay!)

arrowSoon I'll be studying again for my next round of continuing education credits. Then it will be time for my annual updating of my contact manager.

arrowOops, my husband needs clean clothes for work, I have ironing to do, and my daughter needs my attention. Oh darn it! I forgot I have a dentist appointment tomorrow! And *sniff*, what's that smell? I think I'd better go scoop the cat litter box.

My life is so glamorous!

Lisa Hill real estate agent

Adams Cameron

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Karen Webster...Grand Rapids, MI Realtor
5 Star Real Estate, Grand Rapids MI - Grand Rapids, MI
Hey, next time we have a buyer's agent report there's a dead cat in the basement of our out-of-state seller's house, I'm calling your clone!
Dec 17, 2007 02:33 PM #1
Lisa Hill
Florida Property Experts - Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Beach Real Estate
Karen- LOL! That's what YOUR clone is for. See? We all need one.
Dec 17, 2007 02:34 PM #2
David M. Childress
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Akron, OH
I would love to be your Realtor® in Akron Ohio!
Great post! A couple of those things actually happened to me.......what a great, glamorous life we have....indeed!
Dec 17, 2007 02:46 PM #3
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE mean it's not?  Wow...where have I been :)  Great story ...uh, dream and a great run down of what actually happens ... loved it!
Dec 17, 2007 02:51 PM #4
Carol Smith
Casmi Photography - Mebane, NC

Lisa - You are brilliant!  This is absolutely priceless!!

My clone will:

  • take the calls from the neighbors because the trash is piling up in the driveway - the seller moved and forgot to set it out.
  • go out at 10 PM to secure a shed door slamming in the wind and bothering the neighbors
  • play chauffer to the woman that thinks bathing in White Diamonds is attractive - I'm allergic to it
  • will supply transportation to the potential buyer that needs to stop at the pharmacy and the health food store
  • answer the phone to be screamed at by a seller because a buyer and their agent forgot to turn off a closet light. 
  • and ... prepare the foot bath with warm water and epsom salts while 'clone' mixes me an amaretto sour.  Then 'clone' will massage my feet till the hurt goes away.
I think I will need at least two clones.  There are way too many things that need to be done.  

Dec 17, 2007 02:56 PM #5
Deborah Burns ~ Seattle Real Estate Agent
Realty Executives -BRIO - Seattle, WA
Glamorous...ahhhh, that's how to characterize the fall clean up of mats of dead leaves, nasty partially dissolved inpatients (that I shopped for and planted last summer), the weeding and sweeping that I did last Thursday afternoon at my listing for some out of state sellers!  Oh, I forgot....the bump on the head complete with blood from bending over to get the leaves surrounding a lilac bush...still have a nice scab on my forehead for that Glamorous maneuver!  Yes, I need a clone!  :  )
Dec 17, 2007 03:22 PM #6
Rich Kruse
Gryphon USA, Ltd. - Columbus, OH
My clone generally likes people and works buyer leads.  He's been broken for years. 
Dec 17, 2007 10:47 PM #7
Marc Grossman
Marc It Sold! - Longwood, FL
GRI, Greater Orlando Real Estate Broker
Lisa - Too funny!  But also so darn true.  We've all been there to some degree or another, but you've really hit on it.  We all need a clone.  There is just not enough time to accomplish all that we need and/or want to do! 
Dec 17, 2007 11:31 PM #8
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County
Lisa - Your clone sure would be busy! People really do have some misconceptions about the job!
Dec 18, 2007 01:00 AM #9
Elise Sharpless
Rooms Like New, LLC - Shamong Township, NJ
Home Staging,South Jersey,NJ


I really enjoyed reading your blog and taking a few minuets to develop my own clone. I think this is another good lesson in the "grass is not always greener". Thanks for your take and insight into a day in your life. I too have been under the misconception of what a realtor really does, that is until I sold my own house recently. I loved our Realtor and she did an excellent job. Whenever I hear someone say they are just going the FSBO route, I quickly try to advise against it. Realtors may make a commission off your home, but believe me they work for it. Keep on blogging. Thanks for cheering up my morning. By the way my number one clone would be to change a diaper or two and do the dishes. =)

Dec 18, 2007 01:23 AM #10
Bryant Tutas
Tutas Towne Realty, Inc and Garden Views Realty, LLC - Winter Garden, FL
Selling Florida one home at a time
Lisa, This is an EXCELLENT idea!!!! I could certainly use one of the clones. I guess we can all dream.
Dec 18, 2007 03:27 AM #11
Katrina Madewell
Charles Rutenberg Rlty- More than 5,000 agents(813) 777-1196 - Tampa, FL
Tampa FL Homes for sale | Tampa Bay - (813) 777-1196
Amen sister!  I LOVED THIS POST... right on target.   MERRY CHRISTMAS & Happy Holidays to all.
Dec 18, 2007 03:37 AM #12
Megan Barber
Barber Virtual Assisting Solutions, LLC - Vineland, NJ
I love it!  It's funny but true. Some of these situations are the reason I like to do the "background work" of real estate instead of working directly with buyers and sellers.  My hat is off to you hard working Realtors that really go above and beyond to serve people in some crazy situations.
Dec 18, 2007 04:32 AM #13
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

You hit the nail on the head, sis...
our sales businesses are NOT glamorous...
it is what we make of them...we have lives too.....

Thanks for being REAL, Lisa!!



Dec 18, 2007 08:17 AM #14
Elizabeth Nieves
The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC
Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

Yours and mine both, Sweetie! Glamourous!!!! I'm having a pedicure as we speak...and a massage! ( missed a spot!) Oh sorry...I'm back. YES...the life of a realtor is much like that of Vanna White...just turning numbers. We point to a lovely home, and the buyers run to buy it. VOILA...a fat commission!!

"For all the buyers who don't like air conditioning in the car when it's 98 degrees outside, in the future, my clone will be assisting you."

This one is my favorite!! OH...what about the buyers who have a huge dog that slobbers on you while you're driving!!!! CLONE!!!!

Luv ya!!

Dec 19, 2007 01:16 AM #15
Cynthia Tilghman, Realtor® Onslow County NC Home Specialist
Kingsbridge Realty, Inc - Hubert, NC
Hi Lisa,
I'm with you on this.  I will do the job the public thinks I do and let the clone do the jobs I actually do!
Dec 19, 2007 12:42 PM #16
Karen Hurst
Rhode Island Waterfront!


 This should have been a feature!

My clone was supposed to read it, but she was out doing all those glamorous things I should have been doing. Glad I got to read it, though, it gave me a good chuckle.

Jan 03, 2008 03:45 AM #17
Brandi Hollerich
Watson Realty Corp. - Fernandina Beach, FL
Fernandina Beach, Yulee & Amelia Island Realtor®
Great post and so true!  Now I just need to get one of those clones!!!! : )
Jan 03, 2008 10:52 AM #18
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Lisa Hill

Daytona Beach Real Estate
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