A few jokes that I hope will put a smile on your face.
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.'
The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace".
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new home"
A young broker had just started his own real estate office. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the broker picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
A store that has properties for sale just opened, where a Buyer may go to choose a property. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the amenities of the home increase as the Buyer ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch: you may choose any home from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a Buyer goes to the Property Store to find a home.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These homes have updated bathrooms.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These homes have updated bathrooms and new kitchens.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These homes have updated bathrooms, new kitchens and are priced to sell.
"Wow," the Buyer thinks, but feels compelled to keep looking.
Onward to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These homes have updated bathrooms, new kitchens, are priced to sell and have great views of the beach.
"Oh, mercy me!" the Buyer exclaims, "I can hardly stand it"
Still, on to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These homes have updated bathrooms, new kitchens, are priced to sell, have great views of the beach, and come with an in-ground pool.
The Buyer is so tempted to stay, but instead goes up to the sixth floor and the sign
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no homes for sale on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that buyers are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Property Store.
Have a great day!