How NOT to Connect with ActiveRain Members

Real Estate Agent with Liberty Homes RS-#62825

After 5+ years of being a member on ActiveRain Real Estate Network I’ve learned that ActiveRain is a place to mingle, connect and make friends with other Real Estate Industry Professionals.   We connect with other Real Estate Industry Professionals on a personal level by reading their posts, commenting and creating a pleasant conversation.

Why do we do we focus on connecting with other Real Estate Industry Leaders here on ActiveRain?  ActiveRain is by far the largest real estate network referral source for all of us. It has by far been one of the greatest marketing tools for our businesses and is by far the ‘all in one place’ for information on all things real estate.


So, when you go against the ‘grain’ of what may be the best marketing tool you have—you may as well say that the following points are How NOT to connect with other ActiveRain members :

Steal pictures, articles, videos and insert them into your post (PLAGIARISM) and pretend that it doesn’t matter that they are not YOURS.  You make the excuse that you are flattering the person who actually got off their behinds to go take their own pictures and took the time to create every word they wrote. You get defensive and wonder why that person even thought to call you and remind you that you are STEALING. You continue on to say you are borrowing….. GAG.

You force your opinion on others and claim you are the expert on how to write a blog  and continue on to comment on every member’s post and tell them how they should/should not write. You believe that your criticism pertains to the post that was written and don’t even care how you offend the writer or affect other people. Little do you know, is that it reflects right back on you and it only shows that you like to criticize others in public. What professional does that?  ARGH.

Nag, whine and cry.  Now, why would I even think to consider referring any of my clients to you when you say nothing about what you will do for your client, nag about other agents and everyone in the business, have nothing nice to say, whine about points and features and cry when you don’t get the listing because you didn’t follow up with the potential seller. There are reasons members of ActiveRain will refer you to their clients. This isn’t one of them. DUH.

Register, No Interaction and Spam So, you have your profile up. It consists of a picture, address, phone number, fax number, website and email address. Yeah, you are searched on Google but when they click on it there is ….Zilch. You Spam all the members in their comment section, email us saying we should refer our clients to you and then get offended when we ask you to please stop spamming us because we don’t know you from Adam.  REALLY?

EGO, False Pride and You Ain’t $%^&*.  There’s a difference between promoting yourself and flat out lying about who you are.  We all self promote and it’s a given with being a small business owner, independent contractor and so on.  It’s when one lies about themselves to make money off of other members is when I get really pissed upset. PLEASE research the person whom you are going to pay out money to for “help”. More often than not, you can find another member who will help without asking for a handout. Better yet go to the real source ACTIVERAIN UNIVERSITY!

Being a member of ActiveRain takes more than just writing words or slapping a profile up. We treat others with respect as if we are conversing with each other face to face.  We take into consideration that ActiveRain is a wonderful referral source for real estate professionals and bottom line is it’s a place to be transparent so others can see the person who you really are.

If you want to connect with others

Be honest, true and …

Don’t do any of the above.



Posted by



Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman  is a Realtor-Associate® and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS) with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs  she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocations, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents, Home Buyers and Sellers.


 © 2007-2015 Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman's

Hawaii Real Estate and Relocation Blog.

All rights reserved.






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Debe Maxwell, CRS | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The right Charlotte REALTOR!

Alan, I hear the rain falling on the metal roof is quite soothing!

Apr 07, 2012 10:39 AM #35
Emily Medvec
eXp Realty LLC - Santa Fe, NM
Realtor | Serving Santa Fe & Northern NM

Sally, five gold stars on this one. Like everything in life, it is all about respect. You give it and you get it back.

Apr 07, 2012 11:56 AM #36
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Sally, you make so many great points.  Oh, and speaking of spam, I just reported a concern!

Apr 07, 2012 12:20 PM #37
Cindy Edwards
RE/MAX Checkmate - Johnson City, TN
CRS, GRI, PMN - Northeast Tennessee - 423-677-6677

Fantastic post!  I agree with Patricia, very good points.  I've met so many fantastic folks on AR.  And learned so much.  Happy Easter!

Apr 07, 2012 12:25 PM #38
Joan Whitebook
BHG The Masiello Group - Nashua, NH
Consumer Focused Real Estate Services

Sally -- you are a great example of how to interact on Active Rain.. how to nuture relationships and how to grow your own business.  Happy Easter to you and your family.

Apr 07, 2012 12:27 PM #39
Sharon Alters
Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308 - Fleming Island, FL
Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL

Sally, you can add to that the ones who copy and paste random comments which many times belies the fact that they haven't read the post and don't have a CLUE what it's about!

BTW, love your grandbaby photo :) Have a a very Happy Easter!


Apr 07, 2012 12:31 PM #40
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

You said it ALL it seems! Have a wonderful holiday!

Apr 07, 2012 01:11 PM #41
Lou Ludwig
Ludwig & Associates - Boca Raton, FL
Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC


Thanks for sharing your insight, Active Rain is what we make it and an outstanding professionals.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Apr 07, 2012 01:38 PM #42
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI

Weeeee!  I love tips for AR getting featured.  HOPEFULLY those that read this take a look at themselves and what they are portraying online.  It's not hard to figure out those that 'fake it to make it'. Sooner or later the blinds come off and we can see them for who they are.

Apr 07, 2012 02:38 PM #43
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI

@Alan, Debe ....  MY lil bro's head would not fit through the door of even a double wide. I have dibs on 

Gary...those kind of sandboxes the opinionated ones are in have sand bugs lol.  In any case it's really something else to read an opinionated comment and the opinion doesn't even pertain to the post....but how 'they think' it does when crtiticizing the way it was written.

#13  I totally agree. ActiveRain has always been the site to reap information, help one another, create meaningful conversation and connect with other real estate professionals.  Who wants to refer a client to anyone who

1) Lies about who they are 

2) Brags about all the biz they have and they really don't

3) Criticizes others consistently 

4) Is the know it all...but really doesn't know beans

5) Solicits other members as 'experts' and they really aren't

I REPEAT....if you want to LEARN from the experts ...start with ACTIVERAIN UNIVERSITY!

Apr 07, 2012 03:00 PM #44
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI

#27 Yeah Jeff....I wonder what kind of business some of these people actually do. I know for a fact that there are some who 'claim' they are experts, claim they have a lot of sales, feed off other members (take advantage) and are just down right liars. It all comes out in the wash.  The best I can do is write posts so others can be aware that they need to just research before paying someone for their services if they really don't know them.  This is a community where we help each other out.  Only  ACTIVERAIN UNIVERSITY! (in my book) is qualified to teach members...

IF YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS...Call any of our ActiveRain Staff to confirm that another member's solicitation and /or claiming to be part of the staff is for real....Only those on this page.... ActiveRain Staff....are part of staff. 

Apr 07, 2012 03:25 PM #45
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

We have experience that everyone "in the  blogosphere" or on AR is not always who they appear to be...whether is boasting sales or knowledge....relatives...pets...If it sounds attractive, people write it in the hopes of creating a personna pleasing to the membership. At some point catches up....masks come off and the "real member" is revealed.

Apr 07, 2012 07:15 PM #46
Cheryl Ritchie
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Huntingtown, MD
Southern Maryland 301-980-7566
Wow, that s good Celeste. I would add to that not willing to lend a helping hand when someone asks for help learning or doing something that you know easily how to do.
Apr 07, 2012 08:50 PM #47
Charlie Dresen
Steamboat Sotheby's International Realty - Steamboat Springs, CO
Steamboat Springs, CO e-Pro

Hi Sally - Great post and something we should all keep top-of-mind. It goes back to treating others as you'd like to be treated. We can all help each other out so much, but once you burn a bridge, it's not so easy to build back, and in a forum such as this, many people can see the bridge as it's burning and we'll heed the warning, as we should.

Apr 07, 2012 09:22 PM #48
1~Judi Barrett
Integrity Real Estate Services 118 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745 - Idabel, OK
BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK

Sally, You would think that people would understand these points without having to tell them but sadly that's obviously not the case.  Hope everyone reads this post. 

Apr 07, 2012 09:41 PM #49
Amanda Christiansen
Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843 - Fort Wayne, IN
Christiansen Group Realty

You nailed it.  I think this applies to everywhere in life.  Great post and congrats on the feature. :)                                               

Apr 07, 2012 10:28 PM #50
Carie Shapiro
North Shore Suburbs & Chicago Real Estate - Evanston, IL

Good Morning, Sally:

After being here for over 5 years, I'm sure you've seen it all!  Being respectful, showing integrity, and "making nice" with others is important to a successful experience on AR -- and in other areas of life too!  Enjoy your day and congratulations on the feature!

Apr 07, 2012 11:39 PM #51
Jon Eliason
EXIT Realty Advantage Pagosa, Pagosa Springs, Colorado - Pagosa Springs, CO

Aloha! ~ I think being real is essential. Lying and misrepresentation, IMO, is Karmic. I do have to admit, that I've let emotion take control of me and sometimes said or written things that I wish I had never conveyed. Being truthful with ourselves is the first step in Honest, professional and respected growth. If I am unable to look at myself in the mirror and see the real me, then I need to change. I often see what others see. Great post, Aloha...   :)

Apr 08, 2012 01:07 AM #52
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI

#48 If someone purposely did not help you did they give an explanation why? Did they just not have time? Hard to believe that someone would not want to share...



Apr 08, 2012 05:29 AM #53
Mary Stewart
HomeTrust Real Estate, LLC, Homes for Everyone - Wilsonville, OR
Wilsonville and Surrounding Portland Metro Areas

Hi Sally, Thank you for a really good post with lots of things to think about.  As I have said in the past Active Rain is one of the best "gifts" I have given my self over the last year.  I count myself fortunate.

Apr 09, 2012 01:37 AM #54
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