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Now where did I put those big girl panties?

By
Real Estate Agent with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties Licensed in Connecticut

Due diligenceDue diligence.... according to Merriam-Webster.com, due diligence means:

1. the care that a reasonable person exercises to avoid harm to other persons or their property

 

2. research and analysis of a company or organization done in preparation for a business transaction (as a corporate merger or purchase of securities)


I had my "feathers ruffled" yesterday when a lender admonished me for not doing my due diligence, that if I was going to sell real estate in this day and age I needed to understand the scope of my job.

They believed they were the owners of record of a property. They are not.

I took much care not to harm others, I also did my research and analysis of the issue at hand. And, I am a reasonable person, I am fairly sure of this.

I was accused of not knowing my job. I was told how important it is that I am competent in the performance of my job.

What bothers me the most, and perhaps this is where I am unreasonable, is that I am under the (delusional?) impression that we are all working towards a common goal and should work together to achieve this common goal. At least that is how I see it. A common goal for the common good.

OK, that is really not what stuck under my craw. It was the manner and tone in which the message was conveyed to me. As if I was incompetent, totally.

Now that very uncomfortable incompetent shoe is on the other foot. I did indeed do my due diligence! My guess is that the tone won't change, and I shouldn't take it so personally. But with the due diligence that we, as real estate professionals, have to perform these days, with the ever expanding knowledge we must have, with all that it takes to get something to close, I do take offense.

Rest assured, I will behave in a proper manner appropriate to the situation. I have taken my big girl panties out of the dresser drawer and have them all ready to go. I will not stick my tongue out, I will not make snide and sarcastic remarks. (Not until I am off the phone anyway.) I will continue to work towards what I see is the common goal here, after I get off the phone with the company attorney that is. Because after all, I didn't just fall off the cabbage truck or the beet wagon. And I will continue to do my due diligence! Even if others do not.

Posted by

Andrea Swiedler, Realtor, Southern Litchfield County Real Estate

2017 President, Greater New Milford Board of Realtors

2017 Connecticut Magazine 5 Star Realtor

 

 Search homes for sale in Litchfield County, CT.

 

Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage

Litchfield County Regional Office,375 Danbury Rd, New Milford, CT 06776

 

© Andrea Swiedler 2009 - 2017

 Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. - Mark Twain

Comments (34)

Julia Maher
Nestings: Connecticut Home Staging and Model Homes - Fairfield, CT
Connecticut Home Stager

Better not be Granny panties, Andrea!  They'll figure it out...bet you can't wait for that phone call...

Apr 24, 2012 12:21 AM
Carla Cameron
www.ViewCurrentListings.com - Portland, OR
REALTOR 509.680.1338

Thanks for sharing! It's good to know that I am not the only one things like that happen too. I think this situation not only requires the big girl panties , it might need a training bra too. (: 

Apr 24, 2012 12:23 AM
Kwee Huset
Kwee Huset Realty - Venice, FL
Venice Florida Homes For Sale

Andrea, I admire your courage to stand above the crowd, press on to do what is right. 

Apr 24, 2012 12:34 AM
Barbara Altieri
Better Homes and Gardens RE Shore and Country Properties - Shelton, CT
REALTOR-Fairfield County CT Homes/Condos For Sale

Andrea -- It's unfortunate that there are others who seem to delight in working against you rather than with you. We have probably all had the displeasure of working with someone like that. Your impression is not 'delusional'.  We are all working hard  for the client to achieve what the client wants. Unfortunately, we will always encounter individuals who want to control the situation and think they know more than anyone else.  I have no doubt you were doing exactly as you should be doing....and more!

Apr 24, 2012 01:11 AM
Sandy Acevedo
951-290-8588 - Chino Hills, CA
RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale

Hi Andrea, great post. And I think the story behind it would also make a good blog too. Soon?          

Apr 24, 2012 01:31 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

I just had a very similar conversation with some idiot in the billing office of a medical establishment.  I swear to heavens we need to record all of our conversations.  Sometimes good notes just don't cut it.

Apr 24, 2012 01:43 AM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@Properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Um, Andrea!  Are you the title attorney or what?  And something tells me that that lender is going to get lots and lots of referrals from you in the future!

Apr 24, 2012 02:38 AM
Raymond Denton
Homesmart / Evergreen Realty - Irvine, CA
Irvine Realtor®

>>I am under the (delusional?) impression that we are all working towards a common goal and should work together to achieve this common goal.

 

It used to be that way, but we're all not playing on the same team anymore.  It feels like a game of chess to me ... I have the white pieces and the Underwriter has the black ones.

Apr 24, 2012 04:02 AM
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

It is amazing how far out of touch some of these banks and REO companies are. I have an REO property that has had a cloud on the title for THREE YEARS. They tried to list it 3 years ago and pulled it and then re-listed it 2 months ago. Got it under contract immediately and they kick it back with title issues. I think I could get it cleared up by myself in less time than that!

Apr 24, 2012 04:23 AM
Bill Gillhespy
16 Sunview Blvd - Fort Myers Beach, FL
Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos

Hi Andrea,  is it out of the question to have the essense of this conversation with the company involved - at a higher up level ?

Apr 24, 2012 06:16 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Andrea, some people are unreasonable and have this guilty until proven innocent attitude with you. I did like your professionalism throughout. Some days it is not easy.

Apr 24, 2012 08:44 AM
Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers
RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage - Brampton, ON
Our Family Wants To Help Your Family!

Very frustrating Andrea. If there is anyone who would make sure the i's are dotted and t's crossed it is you. We also believe you will keep that tongue in at least until you hang up the phone!! LOL!

Apr 24, 2012 10:44 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Andrea, at times that feeling of power gets to them and they do forget that they too will be accountable at some point. You probably should have gone commando and not be restricted in any way.

Apr 24, 2012 11:39 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Andrea,  We gotta love it.  I've been there.  I put my big girl panties on  and left them on.  It's not my style to say anything to the person who speaks out of their butt.  I remain gracious and, like you, document everything. It's people like that who will throw their own client under the bus to protect against their lack of competence.  I applaud the way you handled the situation.  Isn't it great that we can say ANYTHING when we are alone? (LOL)

Apr 24, 2012 11:50 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Your title certainly caught my attention Andrea.  Some days you just run in to rude people and you have to deal with it the best you can.  Sounds like you know what to do!  :-)

Apr 24, 2012 12:30 PM
Tammie White, Broker
Franklin Homes Realty LLC - Franklin, TN
Franklin TN Homes for Sale

Andrea, it seems we must stay calm and cool under pressure more and more these days. Accusations are hurled by the masses. We just need to let it roll off our backs and get the dang thing to closing.

Apr 24, 2012 04:13 PM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

As much as it would give me momentary pleasure, I put on those big girl panties (not grannie styel) and took care of things. I was gracious, I was polite, I was kind, I made it known that my goal was their goal, and we seem to have a mutual understanding of the goal. So, I am working to get the job done despite the challenges.

There is always that nagging voice inside that wants to return the "favor" when I am treated like that. But I do my best not to.

I will admit, there are times when it is appropriate to respond in a like manner, but I restrained myself. I am getting smarter in my old age.

Apr 24, 2012 09:31 PM
Joni Bailey
101 Main St. Realty - Huntsville, TX
Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR®

I had this happen. I had a home and 5 lots listed. ONE of the lots was not hers. It was a lease lot. The taxes had it in her name, she told me it was hers... I guess I am supposed to research the titles before listing it. Geeze... we got it all worked out, but it was a mess.  The seller was 87 years old. One of the other lots, she had shaken the hand of the previous owner and given him 5,000 for the lot. We had to get that all corrected too. We did (thank goodness he was still alive). Oh my.... So, I trust you will get this all worked out as well. You may need several pairs of BGPs. ☺

Apr 24, 2012 11:36 PM
Hella Mitschke Rothwell
(831) 626-4000 - Honolulu, HI
Hawaii & California Real Estate Broker

Yep, had a couple of things happen too in the last couple of days that I blogged about. Condescending and totally wrong, but they try to talk themselves out of it. What are so-called professionals thinking? It will catch up with them.

Apr 28, 2012 03:52 PM
Sussie Sutton
David Tracy Real Estate - Houston, TX
David Tracy Real Estate for Buyers & Sellers

Boy do I know where you are coming from! That is all I am going to say because I am afraid of heights and my soap box is pretty tall.

May 01, 2012 01:22 PM