Does Conflict Make You Cringe?
As you know, I think there are a lot of things that are important to have in your toolbox.
Great presentations skills... a unique business brand... market knowledge... and more.
But I truly believe that the ability to manage conflict is the single most important skill you can develop.
Developing top-notch conflict management skills is far more critical to your business (and your personal life) than learning scripts, following dogmatic four-step scenarios, or mastering high-pressure sales techniques.
Conquer conflict, and your world will change... dramatically!
Hear the word "conflict" and it probably conjures up images of people screaming at one another. Is there door-slamming, vases tossed, or punches thrown? Sometimes the manifestation of conflict is that physical. But more often, conflict doesn't present itself in such an obvious way.
Many of us wait until conflict is full-blown (and completely unavoidable) before we attempt to address it. If you can learn to identify conflict in its infancy, and then approach it strategically, your chances of coming through the conflict successfully will have increased a thousand-fold.
The possibility of conflict invades every aspect of our lives. Although you may tell yourself otherwise, real estate agents don't lose at listing presentations because they don't see eye-to-eye with the seller on asking price or commission. You lose listings because you don't know how to read the signs of a seller in conflict... and you don't know how to successfully manage the conflict once it begins. Dickering on asking prices and commission are, at heart, simple conflict situations. What's your strategy when these issues arise?
Maybe you began working with a buyer... and all of a sudden they're not calling you back to schedule your next tour. Or perhaps they don't take your advice about writing a reasonable offer. That's conflict too! Do you have a system for handling these situations - one that achieves your goals?
When you're faced with conflict do you know how to get people to open up, address the issues, reach a resolution, and move forward... without being a bully (or feeling so scared that you have that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach)?
Unless you've worked hard to develop conflict resolution skills and have learned the formula for addressing conflict, you're doomed to replay the same uncomfortable scenarios over, and over, and over again. But it is possible to learn to read the cues that are broadcast - sometimes loudly, sometimes quietly - during conflict. And once you've mastered reading cues, you simply need to apply the conflict resolution formula!
Everyone has a conflict "style". In fact, there are five conflict styles... but only one will generate positive results in your business, and your life.
When you're dealing with conflict, the first step is recognizing your natural conflict style. Next, you need to learn to read others' styles so you understand their tendencies. And no, you're not stuck with the style you are born with. Everyone can learn to move toward the preferred conflict style - the one that gets you positive results, not frustration and heartache.
I can't teach you how to resolve conflict via a Zebra Report or a white paper. But I am going to teach a small group of agents the art of mastering conflict in my upcoming Camp Conflict workshop. We'll have two days of ground-breaking work... and it's all designed to help you improve your business and your life.
I'll show you the five styles of conflict, and help you identify your natural style. Then I'll help you learn how to move to the preferred style. You'll learn how to read the conflict clues, and the single most important phrase that will help you get through conflict.
I know conflict is not a topic that you might be excited about. In fact, it's probably something you are hoping to avoid at all costs. I don't teach conflict very often because too many people feel exactly that way. The reality is that any class relating to conflict is a hard class to fill.
But those who are willing to face conflict, and learn from it, will benefit enormously.
I want to see you at Camp Conflict. And just to be clear, you can attend the class but choose not to actively participate. We will ask for volunteers to help out, but if no one is comfortable engaging with us we won't force you to do so. Of course, you'll learn more if you actively "face the dragon", but it's absolutely not a requirement for attendance.
Won't you join me, and a select group of agents, at Camp Conflict? This is the first step toward an improved business, and an improved life... and I want to see you there! Register for "Camp Conflict" today!
By Denise Lones CSP, M.I.R.M., CDEI - The founding partner of The Lones Group, Denise Lones, brings over two decades of experience in the real estate industry. With expertise in strategic marketing, business analysis, branding, new home project planning, product development, and agent/broker training, Denise is nationally recognized as the source for all things "real estate". With a passion for improvement, Denise has helped thousands of real estate agents, brokers, and managers build their business to unprecedented levels of success, while helping them maintain balance and quality of life.