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You are begging me to lie to you!!!! People Skills : Part 1 of 2

By
Mortgage and Lending with Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc

people skills Understanding people and connecting with them can seem hard at times. Especially when that client seems that they think they know what's best for them and just wants to hear what they want to hear. 

Example: I had a client the other day that apparently was shopping his mortgage around and had spoken to 8 other lenders. The kicker, everyone was giving him indefinite answers. And one company even said they could do it, but changed things around last minute. 

I start to ask him questions and some appear to be personal. ie: income, how much money do you have and can you show, etc etc. Sure, these can be personal, especially if I ask you to show them to me and I am a stranger on the phone.

He interrupts me and states that I am asking to many questions and that the other lenders didn't ask to see everything, not ask as many questions as I did. I had to put my foot down and take control at this moment. Sure, fear sat in, thinking that I could lose this client. But I also want to distinguish myself from the other lenders. And here is my perfect opportunity. After speaking in a strong willed manner, but still being polite in tone, I basically told him that he was seeking my professional help and that in order for me to give him the best product, rate, and service....I needed to ask these questions. He still resisted a 2nd time. Then I defined and separated myself  from my competition and basically told him that if he won't answer my questions, that I he will have to seek another lender again. Hence what I said to him next, "You are begging me to lie to you."  

communication

 


Do you understand and fulfill the needs of others:

You need to assert yourself and not let others take control of you or the situation. Having confidence, not true cockiness. This goes back to my example of the client telling me what the other lenders were asking and that I had to keep it short and sweet. The long and short of it is that I wouldn't be able to do my job the way I know how to. Again, defining my character, expertise, professionalism, and able to acknowledge my clients needs. At the same time, treating them the way that I would want to be treated and not just bait and switch them, because they didn't have time to answer my questions. Basically giving them what they are asking for...  a possibility or a maybe, but making it sound like a definite.

When you increase your skills in working with others, you increase your ability to succeed in almost all aspects of work and life. Better communication wins.

 



Conclusion:
The whole idea of being people skilled is knowing or finding how to bring out the best in others in any situation, rather than their worst.

 

In People Skills Part 2: Here I am going to examine the different aspects and types of people skills, behavior, and identifying certain situations.

 

My inspiration for writing this blog came from Renee Burrows :Lose the 'Tude Preface: The Value of Being Open-Minded and Objective

 

Here is Part 2 to this : Okay, so you know what you want? -- People Skills -- Part 2 of 2

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Copyright © 2011 by Jeff Belonger of Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc

Suzanne Marriott
Keller Williams Arizona Realty - Anthem, AZ
Associate Broker, CLHMS, e-PRO
Jeff - Don't you think it's easier to just tell people what they want to hear if they make it clear that's what they want you to do? :-)  Just kidding!!  Always be honest - even if it's not what they want to hear. Great post!
Jan 07, 2007 02:45 AM
Teri Isner
Keller Williams Realty at the Lakes - Orlando, FL
GRI, CRS, CIPS
We try to listen and id the disc types we learned at howard brinton great course for buyers agents and helpful to with sellers.  if they feel you care it makes a huge difference.
Jan 07, 2007 03:18 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Geez.  What Dingbat believes that the client is always right? 

Your control of your business is the absolute right approach.  I'm the very same way.  It is my busines and I'm here to help serious home buyers achieve their goal of home ownership.  Without information, neither a real estate agent nor a lender can do anything worth a dime.

The lender I use in Maryland rarely takes phone calls from prospects.  I get basic info and send him an e-mail or phone call.  Then, when the buyer calls, he knows what to ask. 

He told me one time that he doesn't take many buyer calls because the conversation starts out with:

"What are your rates?"   No one can possibly answer that question.  I sometimes believe that fielding buyers' questions is harder for lenders than agents.

 

Lenn 

 

Jan 07, 2007 04:43 AM
Jim & Maria Hart
Brand Name Real Estate - Charleston, SC
Charleston, SC Real Estate
I have to agree with many others here in saying "Great job".  You definitely showed your professionalism with the questions you asked and in the way you handled their objections. 
Jan 07, 2007 06:08 AM
Erik Wecks
Windermere Real Estate/The Stellar Group - Vancouver, WA

Jeff,

Thanks for being honest with the client.  I will remember that line:  You are begging me to lie to you.

I think that as sales people who depend on sales to eat it is too easy to be afraid of losing the client.  In those tough situations I try to remember that the client I lose is not the client that was likely to be profitable for me anyways.

Erik

Jan 07, 2007 07:36 AM
John Klassen
M & T Bank - Kingston, NY

You are da man. I feel the same way. Eventually these people will want to hear the truth. They will not want to hear it from people who have been lying all along.

The trusth may not laways nbe fun or pretty. It is the truth though and will give you a foundation upon which to build.

Great post.

Jan 07, 2007 10:15 AM
Eric Reeber
AnnieMac Home Mortgage - Mount Laurel Township, NJ

Jeff... Great post.  I've actually lost clients for this same reason.  As a mortgage lender, like you and I, we need to attain as much personal and financial information from a client.  The more we know, the more we can custom tailor a mortgage product for thier specific needs. 

Many other lenders will promise the world, "pending underwriter approval".  99% of the time, rates, fees, documentation requirements change. 

If consumers just understand up front that the more they tell us, the closer we can get to what we specifically will need and quote a more accurate good faith estimate. 

Some consumers are so confident about thier credit score, that they refuse to give you certain information stating, "With my credit score being so high, I shouldn't need to prove this.".  We, as experienced mortgage professionals like Jeff and myself, know which questions to ask and can give accurate quotes based on these questions.  Its the other lenders or brokers that give unrealistic quotes "pending approval" to bait and switch clients into committing to that company. I am surprised that there hasn't been more law suits on this subject.  This subject could be discussed in a blog on its own!

Great post Jeff...

Jan 07, 2007 01:04 PM
Loreena and Michael Yeo
3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Prosper TX Real Estate Co. - Prosper, TX
Real Estate Agents
Again another great post from you. I cant agree more about helping all the way - even if it's difficult. I've been cornered in the positions a few times and it always turn out good.
Jan 08, 2007 01:24 PM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Suzanne...... thanks for the compliment and for stopping by. And in regards to the start of your comment, it would be so easy then...   ;o)

Teri..... thanks for the comment, input.... and I totally agree....  but the client needs to feel this and not just a sales pitch of that caring feeling.

Lenn....   lol, the dingbat?  Too many of them and I have personally witnessed friends that have acted this way when out and about. It's some what sad.

In regards to your feedback, thanks.... much appreciated. And we do seem to think a like in regards to this. Especially the 'asking' of questions.

Jim & Maria Hart..... thanks for the compliment and your feedback.

Erik....  thanks for the input. In regards to losing that client and not being afraid, because they might not have been as profitable...??  I know what you are trying to say, but I don't always agree with that. Each situation is different. It comes down to how you handle that client as getting referrals from them. Overall, thanks for the compliment.

John......  thanks for your enthusiastic compliments.

Eric R. ........   thanks for the compliment and your insight and input. I agree... one would think that there would be more lawsuits...but my feeling on that is it would be very hard to prove certain promises and the bait and switching. And yes, there is so much more to this. thabnks again

Loreena....... again, thanks for your support and you compliments...

Jan 09, 2007 03:38 AM
William J. Archambault, Jr.
The Real Estate Investment Institute - Houston, TX

Jeff,

This doesn't need commentary!

It's excellent.

I just said this on part 2, but it still says everything.

Bill

William J Archambault Jr

The Real Estate Investment Institute

http://www.reii.org

Jan 09, 2007 05:12 AM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans
Bill.... much appreciated. Always good to see a true professional in regards to ethics and such, stop in and make a comment. Someone that has written several books on ethics and the understanding of business and the mortgage industry.  thanks again for the compliment and for stopping by.
Jan 09, 2007 05:49 AM
Nick M.
Certified Residential Appraiser- West Palm Beach Real Estate - West Palm Beach, FL
Realtor-Appraiser in West Palm-South Florida Real Estate Appraiser

Hey Jeff,.. great line.. "You are begging me to lie to you."    If I wasn't so hung up on "It is what it is", I would use it often. I will find space to use your line though! :))   Enjoying the series..  great effort.

Jan 09, 2007 10:25 AM
Jim Quinn
Quinn Appraisals - Bridgeton, NJ
I am getting tired, but you did point out the obvious and the basics. 'understanding and fulfilling the needs of others'   good job
Jan 10, 2007 04:13 PM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans
Jim.... thanks for the compliment and after this one, I am off to bed....  ;o)
Jan 10, 2007 04:23 PM
Freddie Moorer
Weichert Realtors - Plainsboro, NJ
Thanks is so true -- sometimes is does seem as if a client is asking your to lie. I like the way you handled it. Great Job on the post too.
Jan 16, 2007 05:09 AM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans
Freddie.... not only thanking you for your input, but for your input.  I agree.... and thanks...
Jan 16, 2007 06:41 AM
Jeff Kitchen
Harrison Township, MI

Jeff,

I agree with your stance and handling of the situation 100%. As a mortgage "Professional" in Michigan I am often called by prospects wanting to know what rates I'm offering. I politely and persistently inform them that there are many things that go into a rate...sometimes they listen and sometimes they don't.

I think a major reason fueling this "shopper's mentality" is the perception that a mortgage is a commodity.

Something to be shopped for like you would the price of gasoline. I fault our "collegues" that advertise lowball (and often outright BS) rates on radio, tv, internet, and print. We don't just provide a product when we do a mortgage, we provide a service as well. Mass media advertising leaves most consumers with the idea that all they need is a menu to look at when deciding upon a mortgage. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Jeff

Apr 09, 2007 10:01 AM
Ian Fregin
UCM - Virginia Beach, VA

Jeff,

I am a total rookie here, but I was reading this post to my girlfriend and she saw your picture and said she used to read all your stuff on MySpace. She said you could be combative, but that you knew your stuff :)

I love that line about the client begging you to lie to them! I have felt so many times that clients like that would be the ones that go to the doctor and say "I have strep, I need antibiotics" and then act pissy because the doctor doesn't automatically trust their "diagnosis". If you don't mind, I might have to steal that line about lying to them...it is so on point.

Apr 15, 2007 07:52 AM
Jeff Kitchen
Harrison Township, MI

Ian,

 You replied just after mine. Just want to clarify that you are referring to the author..Jeff B. and not to my response...Jeff K.  :)

Don't even have a my space account!  LOL

JK

Apr 15, 2007 08:05 AM
Ian Fregin
UCM - Virginia Beach, VA

Yes, Jeff K., I was referring to the author Jeff :)

As I read more of the comments on here, I really appreciate Eric Reeber's post about gathering as much information as possible in order to tailor the proposal to the individual client. I'm sure each lender has their own "script" they use to overcome certain objections, but the following has worked really well for me when prospects resist giving personal information:

My job is collect as much information as I can so that I can present the best picture of you to the banks and to the underwriters. The more information I have, the better picture I'm able to paint. A better picture translates into better options for you in terms of your loan. I may not need to use all of the information I'm asking for, but it is much better for me to know more and not have to use it than to know less and find out that I need it at the last minute.

This has rarely failed...I think it gives the client the feeling that I am "on their side".

Apr 15, 2007 08:17 AM