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"Pad is smokin" - The MLS Listing Incinerator

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

A lot of listings went up in metaphorical flames this week, friends. Check out these bloopers and you’ll know why some listings are DOA. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for being my ever-vigilant third eye.

I Smell Smoke

"This pad is smokin" (And you obviously have been too, Stony.)

“Charring back patio” (Reason # 1 not to mix tequila and butane.)

“Open Sungay” – (Fancy snacks and they'll do your hair.)

“Lots oof stares” (Methinks they’re staring at the hole in your head.)

“Be careful – blond turn” (That explains the tire tracks and the mascara smears on the crossing guard...)

“Breezes and birds stinging” (Whimpered Magic Johnson when he lost his shorts to Larry Bird and the Celtics in the ’84 playoff games.)

I See Flames

“Sunset Blvd - orange house left” (No doubt it left after being cited for lack of taste.)

“Last month rant” (Another session in Congress must be coming to a close...)

“Spit rail fence” (Let me guess - latest tune by Mucous Mary and the Phlegmhackers?)

“House turd″ (I see you've met my ex.)

I Hear Fire Trucks

“Condo for leash” (You must be the thrill of the dog park...)

“English Tudor w/ high patched roof” (It’s your pitch that needs patching, and you must be high.)

“Newq lasting - red hot” (That explains the black hole in your cerebral cortex.)

Last Words…

Fabulouse wrap around views…formal dinning room…Master Suit… salin pool (I suggest you don your suit, make your way through the din, drown yourself in the salin pool and enjoy the fabulouse views as you go into the light….)

Epitaph

“No balls after 8 pm” (Hollywood’s version of “Not tonight, honey – I have a headache.”)

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell and Sell!

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.

Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Honest to Betsy, I have no idea what they are trying to say half the time.  

Jun 01, 2012 11:43 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Nor do some of these lame-brain agents, Jane!

Jun 01, 2012 11:49 AM
Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
Probate Real Estate Services

Gwen,  So glad I caught this post this evening.  I needed a good laugh out loud before I shut down for the day.  This one really got me:  “House turd″ (I see you've met my ex.)

Jun 01, 2012 12:53 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Welcome to the blooper blog, Kathleen. Be sure to subscribe, as I post every Friday. We all need laughter to start the weekend!
Jun 01, 2012 01:06 PM
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Gwen.  Loved the Larry Bird/Magic comment.

Jun 01, 2012 08:36 PM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Hi Gwen,

It's Siri....you're right!  Of course for some people it would not matter.

Dick Beals

Jun 01, 2012 09:23 PM
Fernando Herboso - Associate Broker MD, & VA
Maxus Realty Group of Samson Properties - Clarksburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

Anyway we can hook up you ex with mine?. .they are a match in heaven

Jun 01, 2012 10:16 PM
Kathryn Maguire
GreatNorfolkHomes.com (757) 560-0881 - Chesapeake, VA
Serving Chesapeake, Norfolk, VA Beach

Don't these people ever read???  But I am glad they don't because these posts of yours make me laugh so hard!

Jun 02, 2012 12:13 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Conrad, who can ever forget the great rivalry that resulted in such a fabulous basketball?  The play-offs were nail-biting entertainment!

Jun 02, 2012 06:29 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

I agree, Dick - Siri spells better than a lot of people!

Jun 02, 2012 06:30 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Fernando, I think we should try to avoid nuclear war at all costs. :-)

Jun 02, 2012 06:32 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Kathryn, even if they read, they may not be able to comprehend. If a tree falls in the forest...   :-)

Jun 02, 2012 06:34 AM
Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen,

LOL ~ perhaps you are right. I see my own blooper. I am obviously being punished by the the Blooper Gods for talking about another agent. :/

Jun 02, 2012 10:23 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Patty, I got an email from a reader the other day who found a blooper on my website. All I could do was laugh about it. I've always been the first to say that some of the biggest bloopers have been my own. We're never too old to learn!
Jun 02, 2012 10:46 AM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Good morning Gwen,

I saved your weekly list for my Mondy morning treat - a good laugh is always a wonderful way to kick off the week!  

 

Jun 03, 2012 09:20 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Great, Lisa. I will have more laughs for you on Friday to kick off your weekend!

Jun 04, 2012 04:47 AM
Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen,

I laugh at myself often, why not? I think I am pretty funny.

 

Jun 04, 2012 04:59 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Gwen~ Somehow I missed these last week.  Wow, there are some REALLY bad ones at there.  I can't even figure out what some of the SHOULD have been.

Jun 04, 2012 05:10 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, you ARE funny! I laugh at myself because there is often toilet paper hanging out of the back of my pants.

Jun 04, 2012 05:22 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Donna, that's the irony of the blooper perps - even if they had written what they first intended, they still wouldn't make any sense!

Jun 04, 2012 05:24 AM