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Ralph Sells The City: The Adventures of a Non-ExtraTerrestrial Realtor

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Metro Life Homes RS-78439 / BRE #01708344

Ralph Sells The City: The Adventures of a Non-ExtraTerrestrial Realtor

Showed a home in a very nice area of Toluca Lake yesterday.  The space works for my client, and the location.  But it needs a lot of updating.  The listing agent told me that there is one offer already on the property, and that they have to respond to it by this evening, so if we're going to write on it we'll need to submit by that evening.

Ran comps and talked it over with my client.  The property appears to be overpriced.  And it's been on for about 5 months.  I pulled up title information and based on what the outstanding first lien amount is from what appears to be a re-fi done last year, we don't see how it can be a standard sale from where the comps are at and also where my client would need to come in based on how much money he'll have to put into the home to bring it up to date.

So we're going to pass and move on towards the Emerald City.

Then I finally got word on one of my BofA short sales that they have received (or at least acknowledged) my full package.

I inititiated the short sale on Equator and it basically sat there without any tasks generated for 2 weeks while I continually emailed asking why no tasks are being generated.  Hello?!  Is this thing on?!

And then when I finally got acknowledgment the negotiator tells me I have 48 hours to upload 13 revised documents or the short sale will be declined.

What are your thoughts:  Would I end up losing my license if I found this person, shoved a rat in their mouth and sewed their lips shut?  And if so, would the benefits truly outweigh the advantages?  Flip a coin?

On the gluten-free side, I have a client whom I just sold her condo, and we're going house hunting to buy her first single family home.  She's probably one of the best clients I've met and I love working with her.  I told her that I'm afraid that I'm going to have to start sending her my dry cleaning bill, though, because she keeps me laughing so much that I practially pee my pants. (too much information?)



Fernando Herboso - Associate Broker MD, & VA
Maxus Realty Group of Samson Properties - Clarksburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

Thank you for showing what a typical Realtor's job is in a daily basis. . I can relate. .. except the pee part!

Jun 14, 2012 01:18 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Yes, that may be a tad too much information.

What I'm struck with here is the impossible, nonsensical barriers the bank deliberately put in the way of a successful short sale.

Short sale criteria are generally designed to fail a high percentage of short sales.

Sadly, neither the buyer, the seller, the agents, the bank or the industry are served by the banks' control of this process.

Jun 14, 2012 01:59 AM
Nancy Conner
Olympia, WA
Olympia/Thurston County WA
LOL Ralph! And if you do have to resort to the rat stuffing idea, I'm pretty sure you'd never be convicted by a jury of your peers ( peers being other agents of course). Guess if we couldn't laugh at the day to day craziness we encounter, this business would be no fun at all....
Jun 14, 2012 02:24 AM
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

....just a day in the life .....


Jun 14, 2012 02:53 AM
Kathy Schowe
California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA
La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

What a great update on all that's happening business-wise for you!  Sounds like you need to keep attracting those "perfect" clients... and keep plugging on the others-- take care,  Kathy

Jun 14, 2012 03:24 AM
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

A great read Ralph.  Yes, the rat in mouth thing might draw a little ire.  Amazing about the short sale requirements at the last minute, but par for the course. 

Jun 14, 2012 04:34 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

I can relate to the second story, Ralph.  I think, given the extenuating circumstances, you will be given a pass.

Jun 14, 2012 06:01 AM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

I went to suggest but it was already there. Maybe too much information, but such a positive note after your less optimistic stories.

Jun 14, 2012 07:36 AM
Evelyn Kennedy
Alain Pinel Realtors - Alameda, CA
Alameda, Real Estate, Alameda, CA


Go for the rat in the mouth thing.  Something i have considered doing.  Actually, wait, don't do that.  You might get in trouble.  Just visualize doing it, it might be just as satisfying.  I don't understand why BofA says they want to help us then require a ream of documents in 24 hours.  That is not helping.

Jun 14, 2012 08:05 AM
Cal Yoder
Keller Williams Elite - Lititz, PA
Homes For Sale in Lancaster PA - 717.413.0744

Ralph, you are way to young to be dealing with the pants issue. You very accurately displayed the daily challenges so many of us face. Be well.


Jun 14, 2012 10:26 AM
Nogui Aramburo
Linda Craft & Team, REALTORS® - Raleigh, NC
Real Estate Professional in the Raleigh Area

LMAO - nice one. Push those boundaries, I'll do the same=.

Jun 14, 2012 12:31 PM
Melissa Zavala
Broadpoint Properties - Escondido, CA
Broker, Escondido Real Estate, San Diego County

Ralph: I love reading about your adventure; it sounds so familiar to me (kind of like my own day).

Jun 14, 2012 01:43 PM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Ralph - I think as long as you had other agents on the jury, you'd be fine.

Jun 14, 2012 02:29 PM
Gay E. Rosen
Julia B. Fee Sotheby's International Realty - Larchmont, NY
As Real as Real Estate Gets!

Good morning Ralph:  Sometimes it is hard saying good-bye to clients as we get to like them so much. We always hope to stay in touch, etc.  and sometimes we do.. but life is always so busy..and hectic.. I rather like the idea of yearly get togethers... so something to think about... On the other note - what idiots some of these bank people are! TOTAL morons...

Jun 15, 2012 12:12 AM
Kathy Stoltman
Ventura, CA

That has happened to me as well, no short sale communication rom the lender, then bam, I am to make miracles happen in a nanno second by uploading a whole slew of documnets that were already in their system.  One lender did this to me just before Christmas, I was the listing agent and who knew if the buyer was in town or not, but I was able to get the docs in, the bank foreclosed anyways, I was told on Christmas Eve, that was tough.


I believe that some banks do this to avoid working the file and want us to fail so they can use that as the excuse, no way to prove that, but it sure seems like that is how they are thinking. 

Jun 15, 2012 04:50 AM
Doug Bullwinkel
E Mortgage Capital, Inc. NMLS 1416824 - Roseville, CA
Mortgage Loan Officer NMLS #281609

A very witty post Ralph.  I think most of us have had fantasies of doing things to those who continue to make sure the system stays broken.  Is waterboarding allowed in Real Estate?

Jun 24, 2012 05:36 PM
Pete Xavier
Investments to Luxury - Pacific Palisades, CA
Outstanding Agent Referrals-Nationwide


Leave that rat vengeance alone, had injured several people (some severely) with a bat back in my real estate days on the east coast.

Fortunately, I do not have a record for that.

Had to dry clean my pants more than usual also,  that's A WHOLE NOTHER STORY!

Jun 24, 2012 06:09 PM
Liz Wallace
Century 21 Sherlock Homes - Rockville Centre, NY
Broker C21 Sherlock Homes, Rockville Centre, LI, N

I think the rat thing would be ok except you have to touch the rat to shove it and then touch a pigs mouth in order to sew it shut.  You can find something more humiliating and less gross.

Jul 07, 2012 02:47 AM