Get Real, Feel the Pain

I guess most of us know by now that nothing in life that's worth anything comes easy.  As a matter of fact, most of us have found that most everything worth while comes with a little bit of pain. 

Have you had this experience?   You're at work, walking down the hallway on the way to your office minding your business, when you suddenly hear what you think is your name.  You turn around and notice a group of people by the water fountain talking with animated facial expressions, gesturing with a great deal of fan fare and pointing sort of in your direction.   You make a slight shift in direction toward the group of fellow team members standing by the water fountain.  When you get within ear shot suddenly the lively conversation goes absolutely dead.  Everyone leaves the scene except for one team member.  You stop, lean over and are about to take a drink of water when you hear, "Ken, do you mind if I give you some feedback"?   

OK, before you respond to your well intentioned team mate, let's examine the immediate reaction.  Physically the eyes start twitching, perspiration starts running down your face, your legs are unsteady, and you start shaking and feel a little paranoid. Then you think, is this a bad thing or a good thing?  Am I going to be nailed to some semi-stationary vertical wooden structure or is this guy really going to provide me with some useful information?

Well, I happen to think this is a good thing.  He wouldn't have asked your permission if his intention was to cause you harm.  Secondly, feedback can be and usually is very useful to improving performance.  Done properly, it can be the most valuable piece of information you can receive.   We are often put on the defensive when our performance is assessed and our superior or some similar entity provides us with feedback.  This somewhat traditional corporate world behavior has caused us to flinch when someone is in fact well intentioned and really wants to help us improve.  So I say, go for it.  Listen intently to the feedback and look for those jewels within the communications that can help you improve and become a better you. 

Then thank this wonderful guy for caring about you enough to provide you feedback.  More than likely it was just as hard for him to give it as it was for you to receive it.