Title Company creates top 10 Pun list, while waiting on the banks wire

Title Insurance with Family Abstract, Inc.

So what else would you suggest when there is a room full of people, buyers, sellers, Realtors, a mortgage company representative and 2 people from my staff at Family Abstract, Inc, our Title Insurance company.

CREATE PUNS…. What else???

title insurance1. A vulture boards an airplane,  carrying two dead raccoons.  The flight attendant looks at him and  says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

2. Two fish swim into a concrete  wall.  The one turns to the other and says “Dam!

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak  were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.  Unsurprisingly it  immediately sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and  heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One  says “I’ve lost my electron.”  The other says “Are you sure?”   The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist  who refused Novocain during a root canal?  http://www.familyabstract.comHis goal:  transcend  dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts  checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their  recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came  out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked  as they moved off.  ”Because,” he said,” I can’t stand chess-nuts  boasting in an open foyer.”

7. A woman has identical twins and is  forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in  Egypt and is named  ”Ahmal.”  The other goes to a family in Spain;  they name him “Juan.”  Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself  to his birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her  husband that she wishes she also had a picture
of Ahmal.  Her husband  responds, “They’re identical twins!  If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen  Ahmal.”

A Bonus Pun! 8. A group of friars were behind on  their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise  funds.  Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a  rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.  He  asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.  He went  back and begged the friars to close.  They ignored him. So, the  rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in  town to “persuade” them to close.  Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up  shop.  Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent Florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of  calluses on his feet.  He also ate very little, which made him rather  frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made  him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And  finally,

10.  There was the Title Insurance guy from Family Abstract, Inc. who posted ten different puns to friends with the hope that at least one of the  puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

Please remember Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and Fl.   From commitment to Policy, from Our Family to Yours, All our very best!   Please like us on Facebook, Please “Plus 1 us on Google, Please give us a shot at your Title Insurance!


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About Family Abstract, Inc.

Established in 2002, Family Abstract, Inc. provides Title Insurance to clients and customers throughout Florida, Maryland, New Jersey and Pennsylvania with more than 40 years of combined experience in management alone. We pride ourselves on retaining the most skilled and knowledgeable employees who share our goals of providing the best service in the industry.

Located in Horsham, Pennsylvania, Family Abstract, Inc. maintains an extensive network of skilled title insurance abstractors in all the states we service in addition to a nationwide network of qualified closing agents who are available to close loans at any location.

Backed by the strength of four title insurance underwriters, we are able to provide expert attention to detail without sacrificing versatility in the closing process, thus providing more options in difficult title situations. Due to our depth of industry knowledge and commitment to excellent service, Family Abstract, Inc. has been able to develop client relationships that have endured for decades.

Having successfully settled and insured thousands of transactions, we have already earned the trust and confidence of hundreds of customers, lenders, brokers, and realtors and now we would like to share our expertise with you!


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Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana of Real Estate!

You got me laughing Glen!!  I'm working on a short sale file and it's tedious as heck - with the usual mumbo jumbo from the bank.   This made me stop and take a laugh break - too funny.  Love the Budda one...but they're all funny!  The title business is much more fun with you around!

Jun 21, 2012 03:28 AM #1
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Anna, my favorite little fruit, Im glad I gave you the repet you so needed.  Your happiness is my only concern!  Hope your deal goes well



Jun 21, 2012 03:58 AM #2
Vern Eaton
Askov, MN
Realtor 651-674-7449

Very good.  I needed a laugh today and this helped.  Have a great wekend!

Jun 21, 2012 04:23 AM #3
Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

Those are good ones. I like the 'kayak and heat it too', but they are all good.

Jun 21, 2012 06:17 AM #4
Dale Bledsoe
Crown Key Realty - Tracy, CA
Realtor in Tracy, California

Wow, those were interesting to say the least. I'm not sure that any of my realtor friends even knows that a hydrogen atom could lose an electron. Of that I am positive. Enjoyed the post very much.

Jun 21, 2012 06:34 AM #5
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I needed a laugh today.  These are great. Hope you have a great evening!

Jun 21, 2012 09:58 AM #6
Glenn Freezman
Family Abstract, Inc. - Horsham, PA

Dale, thats why i post it on the "Everyone" can see list

William, you, my friend are welcome!!

Jun 21, 2012 11:37 PM #7
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