A New Disease Spreads With Little Hope For A Cure

Real Estate Agent with Cherimie Crane & Associates

Insurmountable pain delivered by the evil itches of chicken pox, incredulous blisters caused by continuous use of crutches, and the artic blasts of ice applied for back pain have all attempted to prepare me with endurance and stamina in dealing with life’s stem of certain unwelcomed and unavoidable thorns. There aren’t many bones I haven’t broken, twisted or otherwise overused. Fortunately, the common cold isn’t all that common for me. Growing up playing with large farm animals, jumping from barns, and being used as a human cannon ball to scare snakes out of swimming holes, I consider myself to be somewhat resilient.

There is a new ailment that pales my powers of prevention. No amount of orange juice, zinc or Mamma’s grits can tame the symptoms or shorten the suffrage of the formidable Notification Suffocation. This new disease brings forth challenges that modern medicine did not predict and simply cannot treat. Attacking the very core of any unsuspecting victim in unimaginable ways at tremendously inopportune times, Notification Suffocation spreads with warp like speed and leaves a path of certain devastation.

As a nondiscriminatory predator, it affects women and men. Paralyzing them both with a varying degree of shame, guilt, shock and reducing even the most astute attention span to that of a hyped up honey badger; it strikes with piercing preciseness. Symptoms in women can be spotted quite easily. Any female suffering with bouts of Notification Suffocation will exhibit obvious signs of distress. Women all over the world are dropping iPhones in toilets, typing on Blackberries in beauty shops, and utilizing iPads to photograph food, fashion and unfortunate friends. Their faces show signs of make-up application gone awry in an attempt to apply mascara while iMessaging. Their outfits are a desperate cry for help that portrays dressing while texting and their fingernails show wear from incessant updating on Facebook.

Men are not immune to the crippling effects, the outward signs or the immediate hazards. All across land and sea, obscenities are being shrilled at drowned Droids, backed over Blackberries, and irreplaceable iPhones. Fisherman are baiting while blabbing, contractors are trimming while texting, and business men all over the world are updating their profiles during presentations. The results are astounding and the adverse effect on production of any kind is staggering.

I too suffer from Notification Suffocation. Barely being able to compose a complete sentence without the desire to “lol” or “wth”, my conversation skills have fallen prey to a mere forty words or less regime. It has progressed to the point of text trauma and dropped call drama. Any chime, buzz, ring or rattle; with robot precision I respond to even the most unnecessary notification. The microwave goes off and I check my phone. The doorbell rings and I check my phone. It is a sad existence.

In a world of technological relationships, basic interaction becomes difficult, face to face second to Facebook, and eye to eye replaced by iPhone to iPad. I do miss the days of coffee shop conversations, waiting in line introductions, and real life smiles at real life updates. We can only hope to combat this illness with human interaction, complete sentences, and an ability to resist answering in the shower. We were able to put a man on the moon; possibly we can find a way to put down our phones.


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Whether you are buying or selling Real Estate in Beaufort South Carolina, We know Beaufort. Our little coastal town has something for everyone.





Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl 06/29/2012 11:47 PM
ActiveRain Community
South Carolina Beaufort County Beaufort

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Beth and Richard Witt
Long Island Cash Home Buyer - Huntington, NY
Long Island Cash Home Buyer 516-330-6940

This is so right on... soooo cute... 

Jun 25, 2012 03:50 AM #2
Melinda (Mel) Peterson
Real Estate Cafe LLC - Bend, OR
The Blessed Realtor - ABR, CRS

Wow... you have it too?  I thought I was the only one ;)))  Once again, you have wow'd us with your creative flare for putting human thoughts into formidable words that pop off the page... you should be writing for a living Miss Cherimie!

Jun 25, 2012 05:04 AM #3
Eric Michael
Remerica Integrity, Realtors®, Northville, MI - Livonia, MI
Metro Detroit Real Estate Professional 734.564.1519

Cherimie, this pretty much sums up just about everyone under the age of 50. And some that are over 50. Unfortunately, this is only going to get worse, not better. I use full, complete sentences when I text, including proper spelling and punctuation. I'm trying to hold on as long as I can.

Jun 25, 2012 06:40 AM #4
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC
WOW, this is great! U have a gift...lol Dick Beals
Jun 25, 2012 09:22 AM #5

Extremely well put! My "crackberry" and I are best friends. : )


Jun 25, 2012 09:30 AM #6
Jennifer Swanger

Today at Home Depot, I saw a man trying to talk on his cell and walk on crutches, then a child (9 or 10) whose dad had to go around the car and open the door for him because the child couldn't put down his phone long enough to do it himself......I think we've ODed on our phones!  Sad part is, I'm probably just as bad. :(

Jun 25, 2012 10:03 AM #7
Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
Samsel & Associates - Clark, NJ
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

Love this, Cherimie! It's amazing how addictive these things are - and I've been known to break my own "NO PHONES AT DINNER!" rule!

Jun 29, 2012 11:45 PM #8
Leslie G. Rojohn
MoonDancer Realty - Sylva, NC
GRI, ABR ~ MoonDancer Realty

Fortunately, I seem to have been born with a natural immunity.  I still have and barely use the cell phone I bought 9years ago.  It has a pull up antenae and everything.  Somehow I breeze through life and business just fine.  If anyone is looking for a cure, they may want to get a blood sample from me and extract my antibodies.

Jun 30, 2012 12:55 AM #9
Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome
NS is spreading with lightning speed,is very contagious and I see no cure in the immediate future. Well deserved featured post! Margaret
Jun 30, 2012 02:07 PM #10
Bob & Carolin Benjamin
Benjamin Realty LLC - Gold Canyon, AZ
East Phoenix Arizona Homes

Cute post -- and so right on ---- all the best.

Jun 30, 2012 02:10 PM #11
Dave Halpern
Keller Williams Realty Louisville East (502) 664-7827 - Louisville, KY
Louisville Short Sale Expert

The salesman at Best Buy told me that women use the extended warranty on cell phones much more than men because they frequently drop their phones in the toilet.

What's up with that?

Jun 30, 2012 02:28 PM #12
Mark Woodward
Floor Coverings International - Randolph, NJ
We bring the flooring store to your door

OMG, this is so funny.  Very smart and creative (and dramatic) way of presenting this.  I love it.  Congrats on the feature.

Jun 30, 2012 08:30 PM #13
Emily Lowe
The Lipman Group | Sotheby's International Realty - Nashville, TN
Nashville TN Realtor

This is hilarious!  My addiction to this notification suffocation has "grown for me" an extra appendage.  My hand looks mostly like a hand, but there is now a constant rectangular attachment to it.  I both hate and love the attachment.  It makes money for me and it wastes my time.  Balance is difficult with this new appendage.

Jun 30, 2012 09:57 PM #14
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

so sad so true so techie....just mute

Jun 30, 2012 10:10 PM #15
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

Someone I know was in the hospital emergency room and posted photos of herself and her doctor on Facebook while she was there!  There is no end to this madness and it will soon become "normal" - no cure needed because we'll all have it.

Jun 30, 2012 10:23 PM #16
Walter Sadowski NYS Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker
Cafe Realty - Somers, NY
The Real Estate Resource

Cherimie... Is there a suggested cure or at least a remedy to ease the symptons???

Jun 30, 2012 10:55 PM #17
Paula McDonald ~ GRI
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

This is too cute!  Oh my how true it is though.  I find that I have to allow myself to have breaks from all of the technology.

Jun 30, 2012 10:59 PM #18
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

Cherimie, I see this all the time. What did we do before cell phones?

Jun 30, 2012 11:14 PM #19
Chris and Dick Dovorany
Homes for Sale in Naples, Bonita Springs and Estero, Florida - Naples, FL
Broker/Associate at Premiere Plus Realty

What a cleaver post.  I love you sense of humor.  Human interaction will fall by the wayside just as cursive has in our school.s

Jun 30, 2012 11:50 PM #20
Terrie Leighton
Ferrari-Lund Real Estate - Reno, NV
Reno Real Estate Agent ~ Selling Homes in Reno

I'm glad I clicked on this post first! It is Sunday and I have so many other things I need to get accomplished and should not be on my computer!!! A great reminder that there are so many important things and ways to communicate in real life!

You have such a gift Cherimie ~ I wish I could express my thoughts in the way you do! Always a pleasure reading your posts!

Jul 01, 2012 12:14 AM #21
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