5 Habits of Charismatic People You Can Use!

Services for Real Estate Pros with RealSupport Inc.

What comes to mind when you think of the word “charisma?”  For me, I think of those outgoing people who always seem to say the right thing, have tons of energy and are always toting a huge grin.  (I imagine them breaking into a broadway style song and dance at any moment.) They seem to be successful at everything they do and can easily win over a crowd of people in no time. I’m sure as real estate agents you’ve found these charismatic people in the industry and these “super agents” tend to be your highest competition. 

So, would it surprise you to know that you can learn to be a remarkably charismatic person?  While to some people, having this personality is natural, there are certain habits that you can adopt no matter what your personality that will draw people to you. 

The definition of charismatic is: exercising a charm that inspires devotion in others. 

You don’t have to be loud, highly energetic or overly talkative.  You just need to let people know you genuinely care about them and make them feel good about themselves.  Wouldn’t we all be drawn to people like that? 

Recently, business and technology columnist Jeff Haden pointed out 10 habits of charismatic people.  Here are just a few that I thought were imperative for real estate agents.  Take a look!

1. They listen way more than they talk.
Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Frown. Nod. Respond--not so much verbally, but nonverbally.  That's all it takes to show the other person they're important.  Only speak when you have something important to say--and always define important as what matters to the other person, not to you.

2. They put their stuff away.
Don't check your phone. Don't glance at your monitor. Don't focus on anything else, even for a moment.  Give the gift of your full attention. That's a gift few people give. That gift alone will make others want to be around you and remember you.

3. They give before they receive--and often they never receive.
Never think about what you can get. Focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship.

4. They don’t act self important because they realize other people are more important.
You already know what you know. You know your opinions. You know your perspectives and points of view.  But you don't know what other people know, and everyone, no matter who they are, knows things you don't know.  The minute you act more important than others; you lose your audience.

5. They shine the spotlight on others.
No one receives enough praise. No one.  If you work with a team of people, tell others what they did well.  Not only will people appreciate your praise, they'll appreciate the fact you care enough to pay attention to what they're doing. Then they'll feel a little more accomplished and a lot more important.

Think of how your current and potential clients, or even co-workers, will respond if you began practicing these habits.  You may already be doing some of them, but it’s always good to be reminded of ways we can better ourselves and make others around us feel better about themselves.

You’ll find those around you will feel more drawn to be loyal clients, work harder as co-workers and all will be rooting for your success.  Of course these actions need to be genuine, and your end goal shouldn’t be your success, but the well being of those around you. 

Tapping into charismatic habits, no matter what your personality, will give you a better outlook on others and your work.  (No song and dance required.)

Allie Coyle
Blogging & Copywriting Specialist


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Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

These are some great tips and great reminders on how we an all improve...especially on the listening side.  Great job.

Jul 12, 2012 08:46 AM #1
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

Outstanding post.  I will place it on my Facebook page.

Jul 12, 2012 09:58 AM #2
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Hi Allie~ Thank you for sharing these habits.  Great advice. Who knew I could be charismatic?! I'm excited to try some of these out at my next networking event!

Jul 12, 2012 10:45 AM #3
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services Inc - Gulf Breeze, FL
Buyers Agent 800-309-3414 Pace and Gulf Breeze,Fl.

Heck I am all these so I must be really Charismatic, never thought of it really.

Jul 12, 2012 12:49 PM #4
Mark Delgado
houses for rent, Solano County & Glen Cove - Benicia, CA
Benicia and Vallejo, Property Management, rental h
I suppose 3 out of 5 isn't a total loss is it? I've got 3 thru 5 covered. Number 1 I do most of the time. Number 2 is my weakness but only in larger meetings not smaller groups.
Jul 12, 2012 02:22 PM #6
Harvey Heit, Buyer's Agent &Associate Broker in NYC

Allie--Great Post.  This is the condensed, social media version of Dale Canegies's "How to Win Friends & Influence People"

Keep the good words coming.



Jul 18, 2012 12:21 AM #8
Lynda White
Bluegrass Homes & Farms Realty, Agent Know How - Louisville, KY
Admin. Mgr., Keller Williams Realty

I read an article somewhere that nodding shows deference and weakness. They must mean excessive nodding. I have made an effort to curb it, because I didn't even realize I was doing it so much. 

Jul 18, 2012 01:15 AM #9
Lyn Sims
RE/MAX Suburban - Schaumburg, IL
Schaumburg Real Estate

#4 I feel is the best tip for realtors overall. Gosh, shut up & get over yourself!

Jul 18, 2012 02:54 AM #10
RealSupport, Inc.
RealSupport Inc. - Schaumburg, IL
- Virtual Real Estate Marketing

WOW! We really appreciate all of your comments on this blog. We're so glad that you all enjoyed it and found it helpful :).

Debbie--We agree that these are excellent reminders. Professionals in all industries get comfortable and complacent. They forget that there is ALWAYS room for improvement. Since today's world is so caught up with being efficient and tech-savvy, we forget that the number one trait that helps you succeed in real estate is how great you are with people. Becoming more charismatic will only HELP your business and keep you on track for success.

Roy, we're glad to hear that you'll be sharing our post on our Facebook page! Did your friends and fans like our article? We'd love to hear some of the feedback that you got from posting this.

Donna, ANYONE can be charismatic! It's all about changing your approach when it comes to interacting with people. You can take these skills beyond networking events. When you use the in your day-to-day dealings with friends, family and clients you'll find that your interactions, both business AND personal, can be more positive. We think everyone, no matter how charismatic they are naturally, can use these reminders.

Joyce, we're glad to hear that you're already using these practices! It will help you stay successful in the industry.

Barbara, we're glad that you enjoyed our post! We think it's important to post frequently and share our industry experiences. ActiveRain has been such a wonderful tool for us, and it's nice to know that our industry is so supportive and quick to share tips and tricks with one another. We thought this was a nice change from our other tech tips and marketing posts. This is more about how to interact with people, which agents are expected to do every day! We're glad you enjoyed the article :).

Hi Mark, three out of five isn't bad at all ;). We're glad our article help you indentify areas of improvement! EVERYONE probably has a weakness on the list we outlined above. By being aware of it, you can work on improving that part of your charismatic personality and making your clients be even MORE drawn to you.

Valerie, you are absolutely right! Everyone is so attached to their smartphones nowadays. Nothing makes us laugh more than seeing two people out for dinner, both on their phones the entire meal and not speaking. We've lost touch with person-to-person interaction in this tech-savvy age, so being attentive DOES add to your charisma. That was a great point! Thanks for pointing it out :).

Thanks so much for the nice compliment, Harvey! Dale Carnegie is good company ;). We're glad you see the comparisons. We hope you'll continue to comment on our blog and read our articles.

Lynda, nodding is a hard habit to break. We'd never thought about how nodding shows a sign of weakness, but in a way, it makes sense. You sound so much more sure of yourself if you vocalize your thoughts by saying "yes" than nodding. A nod could be a sign of inattentivenes or lack of understanding, as well.

Lyn, we couldn't agree more! There are a lot of big egos in the real estate industry, but the key to success is making your clients feel like they're more important than your bottom line. Tying everything back to yourself is not the way to do that. Thanks again for your comment!


Jul 18, 2012 07:54 AM #11
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