The REALMAN, Realtor - Assassin

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Services for Real Estate Pros with Ward County Notary Services
https://activerain.com/droplet/59MS

The REALMAN, Realtor - Assassin

 

Realman / Assasin

 

 

Just how far are you willing to go to please your customer? Are you willing to become... REALTOR / ASSASSIN?

 

On a lazy Sunday afternoon the phone rang, shattering the peace of a relaxed time sipping a fine adult beverage (Hamm's Beer) with my hot mate (it was about 90 degrees out and we were both hot).

 

I immediately recognized the voice on the other end of the line as a desperate single woman with whom I had already signed one contract with... a contract at times that I have regretted. What could she possible ask of me now.

 

I need to issue a hit, she didn't say but implied. There are children next door, noisy children, and I need them "taken care of".

 

Despair came over me, I hate killing... and mere babies yet. I tried to talk her out of it. "Sasha", (not her real name) I said, "they will grow up and leave the nest before you know it, do you really think we need to kill them? After all, you left the door open all summer Sasha and invited them in". "They are driving me out of my mind" she said.

 

They don't have far to drive I thought, probably could do it with just fumes in the tank.

 

I asked my hot mate (still 90 degrees out) if she would come along, thinking she is good with kidos and if there was some way I could just sneak the kids out of there she could keep the little ones quit with out me having to snuff them out.

 

When we arrived Sasha was waiting and eager to witness the blood bath. I thought, what kind of woman is this, she raised children once herself.

 

Hottie and I had barely gotten out of the car with the necessary tools to do the job yet Sasha was already hysterical pointing to the rafters in her garage. "There THEY are" she said.

 

I was releived, just last week they were still in the nest waiting for their next meal, now they were flying from rafter to rafter with Mom and Dad. I removed the empty nest.

 

With both the overhead door and the back door open Hottie and I waved brooms over our heads but mom, dad, and the kids just went on singing, jumping from rafter to rafter.

 

I told Sasha, "there will be no killing today, all you can do is shut the big door and when they get hungry enough they will fly out the small door and look for food". Sasha was upset, pouted, and threatened to fire me the next day.

 

She did start looking for another Realtor. Thanks to some good luck the right buyer came at the right time and we penned a deal. Still, with closing a month away... the phone rang again.

 

"Realman, you have to get over here and mow the lawn again."

 

Realman, Assassin, Yardman. Geeze, what won't I do for a listing???

 

Bob Timm, National Marketing Realtors, Minot ND

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WARD COUNTY NOTARY SERVICES

ROBERT L. TIMM, OWNER

201 Main Street South, Suite 116

 Minot North Dakota 58701

Bob Timm,  Facebook

Call or text 701-720-8513

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Ambassador
3,982,170
Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

Bob, I haven't read a book in a few weeks and your story has inspired me. I was sorry when the post was over. Keep on blogging. I loved it.

Jul 14, 2012 12:40 PM #1
Rainmaker
1,577,889
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Thanks Debbie! I enjoyed writting the post and miss writting the short stories I had once been quite prolific at.

Jul 14, 2012 12:53 PM #2
Ambassador
3,674,552
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Bob, I think you should have the tiltle guy add the cost of a lawn mow onto the HUD 1 at settlement!

Jul 14, 2012 02:11 PM #3
Rainmaker
1,577,889
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Patricia, would you believe that "the lawn" is several acres and I purchased a lawn tractor just to mow it for her! I've mowed it several times now. I am so eager for this closing.

Jul 14, 2012 09:13 PM #4
Ambassador
3,674,552
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Hi, Bob!  I included this post in Last Week's Favorites.  Have a great week.

Jul 15, 2012 03:15 AM #5
Rainmaker
686,609
Hella Mitschke Rothwell
(831) 626-4000 - Honolulu, HI
Hawaii & California Real Estate Broker

Bob: Too funny. Yes, we extend ourselves for our listings when necessary. But it's also good to say "no, you need to hire someone to do this". One of them is mowing the grass and weed-eat. But you are probably one of those handy men and they can't resist asking you. I have someone who helps out with the heavy lifting if that is indicated. If a client is respectful about his time and efforts, we go that extra mile. But often they ask way too many "favors." Luckily I only had to "cut off" a couple of clients like that, an out-of-town owner who needed to get his own maintenance crew to come in there--at a price. And, no, I didn't lose them as clients as a result. They knew they were taking advantage. Know when to say "no."

Jul 15, 2012 05:52 AM #6
Ambassador
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Joni Bailey
101 Main St. Realty - Huntsville, TX
Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR®

Laughing OUT LOUD in Riverside, TX. Bob, you are hoot! Hope you and Hottie had a great rest of the day!

Jul 15, 2012 05:59 AM #7
Rainmaker
1,748,227
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Oh, the hats we wear! Thanks for the Sunday laugh, Bob.

Jul 15, 2012 06:09 AM #8
Rainmaker
1,577,889
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Thanks Patricia! I am truly honored.

Hella, I'm not to good at saying no and it often over extens me. I really should draw the line when lawn care takes 3 hours just to mow.

Joni, It was agood day. Playing assassin only consumed about an hour of it.

Your welcome Lottie. A laugh is good for the soul and this is Sunday so I'm glad to be a blessing to someone today.

Jul 15, 2012 08:27 AM #9
Rainmaker
809,907
Evelyn Kennedy
Alain Pinel Realtors - Alameda, CA
Alameda, Real Estate, Alameda, CA
Realman: It pains me to say that I have been an assassin a few times,too. And a gardener but not a handyman. Not at all handy.
Jul 15, 2012 08:33 AM #10
Rainmaker
1,558,046
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

Had no clue what this post was about at first.  Funny.  Pat Kennedy had this a her weekly pick of her fav's, I can see why. 

Jul 15, 2012 09:54 AM #11
Rainer
247,691
Doug Bullwinkel
Envoy Mortgage, NMLS 6666 - Roseville, CA
Mortgage Loan Originator NMLS #281609

Yes it's true.  We are all called upon much too frequently to go above and beyond our pay grades to take care of things that have nothing to do with us but nevertheless, we rise to the occasion. 

Jul 15, 2012 11:09 AM #12
Rainmaker
819,643
Maureen Bray Portland OR Home Stager ~ Room Solutions Staging
Room Solutions Staging, Portland OR - Portland, OR
"Staging that Sells Portland Homes"

What a great read!  You really had us going there for a while ... please continue.  We want to read more from you!

Jul 15, 2012 12:21 PM #13
Rainmaker
1,577,889
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Evelyn, thank you for making me laugh. As much as I like gardening I may draw the line at weeding someone else's garden.

Thanks Carla, and so you already know I also thanked Patricia as well. I'm truly glad you enjoyed it.

Doug, were supposed to get paid to do this... gees I hope I get a check soon.

Maureen, thank you so much, I will try not to disappoint you.

Jul 15, 2012 12:40 PM #14
Rainer
342,253
Patsy Barten
Keller Williams Realty Coeur d'Alene - Post Falls, ID
REALTOR Post Falls ID

Enjoyed reading and I must say we all get this client once in a while so it was easy to laugh with you but also recognized the reality of the story.  Thankk for sharing

Jul 16, 2012 05:14 AM #15
Rainmaker
1,577,889
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Patsy, thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I seem to attract clients like this with a bit of frequency.

Jul 16, 2012 07:41 AM #16
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Bob "RealMan" Timm

Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor
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