Special offer

"Corral, good burn" - Goin' Up in Smoke on the MLS

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

There’s been a lot of butane in the air this summer, friends, and it seems some people have sucked in a bit too much. As evidenced by these dizzy comments and MLS bloopers, hamburgers aren’t the only things that have been fried:

It’s Miller Time

"Corral, good burn" (Proudly offered by Pyromaniac Realty - "We'll match anything out there.")

“Old gas hater” (Yeah, it’s worse after it ripens for three days.)

“Nearly perfecy” (Your judgment appears to be as reliable as the judgment of John Edwards.)

“Thill your buyers” (I'm surprised you “thill” have a “theller.”)

“This dog has potential” (Your delivery doctor’s remark when he slapped you on the a_ _ ?)

“Need new vet” (Have him check you for distemper.)

Round Two!

“JUST NEEDS TLB!!!” (As in “Take Less Benzedrine”?)

“New construction – herd hats required” (Trying to capture the elk market, eh?)

“Buy now – good rats” (I’d rather stick my tongue in a George Foreman grill.)

“Bring your ow designer” (The “ow” usually comes with the bill.)

“Can walker to activity nearby” (Apparently there’s an opening at the San Andreas Fault Seniors Center.)

“Submit fist” (Step #1 in “Paying an arm and a leg.”)

Bottoms Up

“Beautiful home overlooking coaster” (I just love it when drinks are on the house!)

“Coced ceilings!” (Coked agent!)

“Experience the lap of lusurey” (Most often heard pick-up line at Bubba’s Booze-N-Barf.)

Man Down

“Garage attacked” (Bubba’s explanation for how the Chevy pickup impaled the garage door.)

 

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com.

Please visit www.victorylodgeinfo.com to see my magnificent listing: "Reduced: $14,900,000 Log Cabin Estate." Also: "Stunning Spanish Villa Atop Mt Washington - $999,000" @ www.tourfactory.com/881759 ; and "Whitley Heights Investment Properties - $3.3M" @ http://youtu.be/PW6lstI9Yug . Thank you!

Comments (35)

Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Gwen -- as usual, you have gathered some outstanding examples of non attention, and pointed out their problems in your own inimical way.

 

Have a fantastic weekend!

Aug 24, 2012 07:35 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Steven, thank you. Now if I could just focus on my own problems... :-)

Aug 24, 2012 07:37 AM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Good morning Gwen,

You just can't make these things up - priceless.  I've got to hand it to these folks, they all have the "spell check be darned" attitude (LOL)

Aug 24, 2012 09:17 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Gwen, I'm glad to see they've finally opened Anwr for new homes.  Those herds do tend to be a bit annoying while you're working.  I did hear if you Take Liver Biscuits they will leave you alone.  Who knew?  Happy Saturday!

Aug 24, 2012 10:13 PM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Garage attacked and this dog has potential, I will have to use these, Thanks for the laughs Gwen

Aug 25, 2012 02:28 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Gwen~ It's hard to pick a favorite this week.  There's a tie:

“Submit fist” (Step #1 in “Paying an arm and a leg.”)

“Experience the lap of lusurey” (Most often heard pick-up line at Bubba’s Booze-N-Barf.)

Aug 25, 2012 03:19 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, with that kind of attention to detail, can you imagine what their income tax returns look like?

 

Mike, because you are an elk expert, maybe you can answer 2 questions: Does one EAT the liver biscuits, or throw them at the elk? And how do you get them to stand still so you can put the Christmas ornaments on their antlers?

Aug 25, 2012 03:32 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bob, be careful - I hear that garage attacks are quite prevalent in Wisconsin!

Aug 25, 2012 03:33 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you, Donna. Can't you just imagine a drunk using the "lap of lusurey" line to try to lure a woman to sit on his lap? I think I've actually experienced that once or twice!

Aug 25, 2012 03:37 AM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Gwen, I really enjoyed your "beautful home overlooking coaster" quip!

I must admit I was half-expecting a blistering diatribe or weepy jeremiad concerning your recent podiatric spa misadventure!  FUTURE POST???   ^_~

Aug 25, 2012 08:27 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

"Weepy jeremiad"? Bruce, you know me better than that. I only weep when someone over-shakes my martini. Re: my recent foot spa disaster - rather than a diatribe, I think I'd be better served by calling Uncle Vito back in Jersey, don't you?

Aug 25, 2012 08:41 AM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Gwen, I forgot your BULLDOG toughness! 

I suppose, unlike Madonna, that you don't CRY for Argentina, either???

 

Aug 25, 2012 11:54 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
No, and I wouldn't cry for Evita either :-)
Aug 25, 2012 12:40 PM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Like Evita, you have returned. . . . . . . . . . .

Aug 25, 2012 12:47 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bruce, you had doubts? MacArthur is my middle name.

Aug 25, 2012 01:02 PM
Melissa Marro
Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team - Orange Park, FL
Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging

I look forward to this every week. It always cracks me up!

Aug 27, 2012 09:04 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Melissa, I'm so happy to provide a few laughs. I like to think it's my contribution to helping people live longer!

Aug 27, 2012 09:13 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Keep em coming Gwen.  I came late for my weekly fix.  And it as worth it as always.

Aug 28, 2012 07:19 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Jane, although I know you also get a lot of laughs just from reading our own MLS. It's better than Marvel Comics!

Aug 28, 2012 07:53 AM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Buy now, good rats is my favorite. I think this catches me up. Nothing like a good chuckle in the early morning hours.

Aug 30, 2012 10:54 PM