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"View from top of hell" - Wondering Why Buyers Are Avoiding Your Listings?

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks. On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).

Is There A Pulse?

“2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)

“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually accompanies a bad hangover…)

“No balls after 9 pm” (My ex had the same problem.)

“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)

“Sorry – already bought” (Sign taped to back of seats in the House Chamber.)

Can You Detect A Heartbeat?

“Stay toned for open house schedule” (Man, L.A. sure is a tough market!)

“View from top of hell” (Graffiti on the wall in the Oval office john. )

“Just needs lifts” (…said Tom Cruise’s agent to his producer.)

“Pool chub” (Caption under a photo of me in my bathing suit at the office BBQ.)

“House on coroner” (How convenient – he’s already there to pronounce himself dead.)

Pull The Plug

“Coop for sale” (Oh, is Foster Farms going out of business?)

“Drop in sot” (I see you’ve met the guys who play poker with my Uncle Paddy.)

“Coy fish in big pond” (Where are the gregarious fish – in the kegger pond?)

“Big water fault in back” (That’s called a tsunami, and if I were you, I’d run like hell!)

Last Rites (Thanks, Jane)

“Bright, Quite garden condo. like home 3bads and 2 full bath, fire place3 tend-om parking, incloding refrigcrater” (Take the fork out of the socket and the antennas out of your aluminum foil hat. Your hair is in flames…just like your career.)

 

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

Please visit www.victorylodgeinfo.com to see my magnificent listing: "Reduced: $14,900,000 Log Cabin Estate." Also: "Stunning Spanish Villa Atop Mt Washington - $999,000" @ www.tourfactory.com/881759 ; and "Whitley Heights Investment Properties - $3.3M" @ http://youtu.be/PW6lstI9Yug . Thank you!

Comments (46)

Steven Pahl
Keller Williams Tampa Properties - Tampa, FL
Real Estate Consultant Tampa, FL 813-319-6423

So sorry to hear about your ex's problem, but my dogs thought I was dying when I read:

“House will shit all buyers” (Hence the corn particles in the front yard?)

Brought back a very terrible/humorous memory of an incident when I was in the service back in the 70's!

 

Sep 14, 2012 12:20 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Steven, I think a lot of us can identify with an embarrassing incident like that. I am also famous for several crowd-pleasing toilet-paper-in-the pants episodes that were hard to explain! That's how I developed a sense of humor - public humiliation will do that to a person!

Sep 14, 2012 12:35 PM
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Gwen.  Too funny as usual.  Thanks.

Sep 14, 2012 08:43 PM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Good morning Gwen,

You called it perfectly (as always)...last rites is right!

Sep 14, 2012 10:16 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Conrad - have a great and smile-filled weekend!

Sep 15, 2012 05:14 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, that last one you could stick a fork in!

Sep 15, 2012 05:15 AM
Melissa Marro
Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team - Orange Park, FL
Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging

Another hilarious list. I don't know how you manage to find them each week!

Sep 16, 2012 04:05 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Melissa, somehow disaster always finds ME!

Sep 16, 2012 05:03 AM
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!
I'm so glad I found you via Donna's reblog. I have now subscribed.
Sep 19, 2012 02:29 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, John. There will be a new one this Friday with some jaw-dropping bloopers - welcome Aboard!

Sep 19, 2012 03:13 PM
Tom Arstingstall, General Contractor, Dry Rot, Water Damage Sacramento, El Dorado County - (916) 765-5366
Dry Rot and Water Damage www.tromlerconstruction.com Mobile - 916-765-5366 - Placerville, CA
General Contractor, Dry Rot and Water Damage

Great post as usual Gwen, I laugh openly everytime.

Sep 19, 2012 04:01 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Tom, that makes me so happy to hear that!

Sep 19, 2012 04:20 PM
Wayne Zuhl
Remax First Realty II - Cranford, NJ
The Last Name You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

HAHAHA! "Say toned for open house schedule!" That's hysterical! Keep 'em coming, Gwen  - you make  me smile!

Sep 19, 2012 08:53 PM
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Hi Gwen, saw this on Donna's reblog... what's wrong with agents..guess they don't believe in proof reading... I'll be sure to watch for the next post :)

Sep 19, 2012 09:52 PM
Debb Janes
Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
Put My Love of Nature At Work for You

I came over from Donna's reblog. I love the bloopers Gwen, and while I can't imagine being that sloppy as an agent, it does give us some fun. Love Marti's comments #1. :) :)

Sep 20, 2012 02:30 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Wayne and Jean, it's really hard to compete in a town full of hardbodies.

Sep 20, 2012 08:24 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Rebecca, it's hard to proofread if one cannot read to begin with :-)

Sep 20, 2012 08:39 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Debb, they do provide fun if we can get past the collective embarrassment!

Sep 20, 2012 08:42 AM
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

I vote for "coy fish in pond" in this week's selection and your witty response.

Sep 22, 2012 02:02 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Jill - I was hoping someone would enjoy that!

Sep 22, 2012 04:58 PM