Words Tell the Story

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty Associates

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)
 
 1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
 
 2. A will is a dead giveaway.
 
 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
 
 4. A backward poet writes inverse.
 
 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
 
 6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
 
 7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
 
 8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
 
 9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
 
 10. A calendar's days are numbered.
 
 11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
 
 12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
 
 13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
 
 14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
 
 15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
 
 16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
 
 17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
 
 18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
 
 19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
 
 20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
 
 21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
 
 22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
 
 23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
 
 24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
 
 25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
 
 26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and w as cited for littering .
 
 27 Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
 
 28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
 
 29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
 
 30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
 31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
 
 32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
 
 33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
 
 34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

Posted by

Erv Fleishman

Realty Associates

561 654 6116

561 988 9525 fax

close

Re-Blogged 1 time:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Charles Stallions 09/23/2012 06:49 AM
Topic:
ActiveRain Community
Location:
Florida
Groups:
Active Rain Newbies
Realtors®
Tags:
jokes
words

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
1,363,923
Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl
Samsel & Associates - Clark, NJ
The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate

HA!! Poultry in motion didn't make any sense to me until I read it aloud. Very funny!

Sep 13, 2012 08:52 AM #1
Ambassador
4,101,114
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224
Erv...keep 'em coming! I love these!
Sep 13, 2012 02:41 PM #2
Rainmaker
347,854
Anja Kerstens
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Morgan Hill, CA
GRI, CDPE, CHS, ASP, Selling Silicon Valley Real

Erv, that was a refreshing read.  I enjoyed it especially those little sentence I had to read again to because I needed to think about what I read.  lol.

Sep 15, 2012 03:16 AM #3
Ambassador
942,417
Suzanne McLaughlin
Sabinske & Associates, Inc. (Albertville, St. Michael) - Saint Michael, MN
Sabinske & Associates, Realtor

These are so great, Erv.  Now, if I could only remember them when I need them!

Sep 15, 2012 04:09 AM #4
Rainmaker
2,146,985
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Erv,

Thanks for the Sunday Funnies!!!

I loved them all!

Sep 16, 2012 01:54 AM #5
Rainmaker
3,305,368
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Erv these are awesome, some one sent me a similar list I should share it with the community like you did:)

Sep 18, 2012 05:49 PM #6
Rainmaker
733,028
Eileen Hsu
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Manhattan, NY
LICENSED REAL ESTATE SALESPERSON

I agree, this was definitely very clever and fun to read.  Thanks for sharing!

Sep 19, 2012 01:48 AM #7
Rainmaker
1,340,177
Michelle Gibson
Hansen Real Estate Group Inc. - Wellington, FL
REALTOR

Erv - These are great, a person I worked with in college would always say "I'm like a bicycle, two tired."

Sep 20, 2012 10:46 PM #8
Rainmaker
2,146,985
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Erv,

Thanks for the funnies! What a great way to start the day!

I hope you have a great day too!

Sep 21, 2012 09:53 PM #9
Rainmaker
3,296,707
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Home and Condo Specialists

Clever play on words...nice series to chuckle about...

Sep 22, 2012 10:08 PM #10
Rainmaker
2,458,587
Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

Very good read and a little relaxing while having a lazy Sunday afternoon thanks.

Sep 23, 2012 06:37 AM #11
Ambassador
1,243,680
Kristin Hamilton CA Realtor
Sun Lakes Realty - Banning, CA
(909) 557-6966- Specialize 55+ Communties Banning

Hi Erv,

 I saw this as a re blog by Charles and just had to stop by and say great post. I love word games and crossword puzzles so this was very amusing.

Sep 23, 2012 07:44 AM #12
Rainmaker
1,304,604
Charles Stallions Property Manager
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pace, FL
Pensacola, Pace & Gulf Breeze Property Management

I saw a reblog as well from my broker and thought wow what a funny if not enlightening post

Sep 23, 2012 07:47 AM #13
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
177,756

Erv Fleishman

Luxury Prop Specialist Realty Associates
Ask me a question
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention

Additional Information