Pretty Punny

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty Associates

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
 
When chemists die, they barium.
 
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
 
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
 
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
 
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
 
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
 
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
 
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
 
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
 
We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
 
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
 
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
 
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
 
Broken pencils are pointless.
 
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
 
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
 
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
 
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
 
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
 
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. 
 
Velcro - what a rip off!
 
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy
 
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
 
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.  
Posted by

Erv Fleishman

Realty Associates

561 654 6116

561 988 9525 fax

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Rainmaker
1,297,636
Raymond E. Camp
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Ontario, NY
Licensed Real Estate Salesperson Greater Rochester

Good afternoon Erv,

I'm now going back to work!

Make yourself a great day.

Sep 25, 2012 02:10 AM #1
Rainmaker
838,630
Mel Ahrens, MBA, Kelly Right Real Estate
Kelly Right Real Estate - Hood River, OR
Customized Choices for your Real Estate Needs

Okay, I am totally going to steal some of these! Too funny. Thanks for the much needed chuckle this morning!

Gretchen

Sep 25, 2012 02:16 AM #2
Rainmaker
612,499
Fred Sed
Fred Sed Group ~ Your Premier Southern California Realtors - Irvine, CA
Your Southern Cali Realtor, Why? Because Fred Se

You're a punny guy Erv!

Sep 25, 2012 08:16 AM #3
Rainer
423,008
Peggy Chirico
Prudential CT Realty - Manchester, CT
REALTOR® 860-748-8900, Hartford & Tolland County Real Estate

Very funny, Erv! I must admit I love puns even though some of them make me groan!

Sep 26, 2012 05:47 AM #4
Rainmaker
3,559,774
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Erv -- as Peggy mentioned while some puns may be groaners -- I love them.   Thanks for sharing.

Oct 02, 2012 12:40 PM #5
Rainmaker
710,716
Pacita Dimacali
Alain Pinel - Oakland, CA
Alameda/Contra Costa Counties CA

Erv

These are hilarious. Thanks for sharing. More of the same, please

Best--

Oct 09, 2012 02:19 PM #6
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Rainmaker
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Erv Fleishman

Luxury Prop Specialist Realty Associates
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