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"Greening stain floors" - MLS Bloopers That Will Make You Wet Your Shorts

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Does the expression “dog days of summer” refer to the heat, or are our canine friends doing the typing while their masters are on vacation? Some of these bloopers had to be typed by someone with no opposable thumbs. Enjoy the laughs:

Doggone Dumb

“Restored with mare” (I guess that makes you the horse’s a_ _.)

“Mice home on good street” (Everyone loves a cheese wheel.)

“Near top-rated carver school” (Professor Hannibal Lecter at your service.)

“Layground nearby” (Sign on street near Hefner’s pad…)

“Rubble to be cleared” (It seems Barney and Betty are being run out of the neighborhood…)

Perhaps Rabies is the Problem…

“Free drawling” (Thank you, Scarlett O’Hara.)

“Meat at site” (‘Whispered the bear to his posse while eyeing three fat campers.)

“Choice of collars” (Favorite pick-up line used by Sebastian “Fifty Shades” Grey.)

“Greening stain floors” ( A weak bladder sucks, doesn’t it?)

“Awnings protect from sin” (Wouldn’t a chastity belt be more effective?)

Time To Call The Pound

“Please sign dog” (Why – is he an “autograph hound”?)

“This is a shady area” (The most popular sales pitch in Palermo...)

“Mold not serious” (Yeah? well the lawsuit will be…)

“Do not let fat out” (Hence the success of Spanks.)

Once a Dog, Always a Dog

“Buy now before erection changes market” (Darlin,’ I doubt your package is impressive enough to change the economy…but I like your confidence!)

 

That’s it for this week, folks. Remember: spell well and sell!

*NOTE: If you like humor, please SUBSCRIBE - the Blooper Blog comes out every Friday!

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Comments (42)

Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Peggy, how are you? I'm delighted that you enjoyed the post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Oct 12, 2012 05:59 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Andrea, thank you. I am the master at drawing stupidity to me like a magnet. I have been known to marry it :-)

Oct 12, 2012 06:01 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, I think it's the erection that doubles as an awning. With that kind of equipment, the sin is a foregone conclusion.

Oct 12, 2012 06:04 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Debb, thank you. Be sure to subscribe, as the blooper blog is posted every Friday. Have a great weekend!

Oct 12, 2012 06:05 AM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Thanks for the laughs today Gwen, I especially liked your comment on the last blooper, an economy changing erection.

Oct 12, 2012 06:24 AM
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Gwen -- of course, the last one might have worked a few years ago at the Mustang Ranch in Nevada, where one might have needed the awning, but would not have found a mare.

Oct 12, 2012 09:13 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Oh my.  The last one is classic.  You just know our MLS is not on top of things (pardon the pun).

Oct 12, 2012 10:57 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bob, that agent has a lot of confidence. Perhaps we could use his, uh, "potential" in Washington!

Oct 12, 2012 11:04 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Steven, perhaps that agent was a frequent visitor to said location. He seems to understand the importance of "stimulation" in the marketplace.

Oct 12, 2012 11:08 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jane, I agree - our MLS may not be "on top of things," but it's a stimulating read. :-)

Oct 12, 2012 11:11 AM
marti garaughty
garaughty.com - Montreal, QC
a highly caffeinated creative type...

garaughty, abstract art, graphic design, WordPress consultant

Oct 13, 2012 11:49 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

I'm thinking a larger pant size might be the solution to keeping the fat in.  My dog always hates it when visitors sign him.  It gives him a rash and then he just gets cranky.  Nothing worse than a cranky 165 lb Rottweiler.  Happy Sunday, Gwen, and thanks for helping us keep a silly smile plastered to our faces.  It does make others wonder if it's safe to bring small children around. 

Oct 14, 2012 02:23 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Marti, thanks for dropping in - it's always a treat to see your cookies :-)

Oct 14, 2012 03:36 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Mike, yes indeed, keep the children inside - there are crazies on the loose. However, don't worry about sharp objects -  there's nothing sharp about any of these culprits! My regrets to your rottweiler. It must be hell to have someone named Humphrey sign your a_ _. Happy Sunday!

Oct 14, 2012 03:42 AM
Melissa Marro
Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team - Orange Park, FL
Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging

That last one was hilarious... ok, who am I kidding, they all are? Where do you find all of these? Does someone send them to you? 

Oct 14, 2012 08:26 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Hi Melissa - Welcome aboard the Blooper Scooper. I post these every Friday. Many come from our local MLS and real estate ads, but I also receive contributions from all over the U.S. I'm so glad you enjoyed them, and I hope you'll subscribe and be part of our Friday parties.

Oct 14, 2012 09:11 AM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Hello Gwen,

A great list to wind up my weekend with...that last one may have to be a contender on your Top 10 (or should I say Bottom 10) list for 2012!

Oct 14, 2012 10:04 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, I, too, nomintae that one as a standup...uh, I mean "stand-out." :-)

Oct 14, 2012 10:14 AM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Good morning Gwen,

Clever, very clever!  Have a wonderful week!

Oct 14, 2012 10:20 PM
Wayne Johnson
Coldwell Banker D'Ann Harper REALTORS® - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio REALTOR, San Antonio Homes For Sale

Gwen-So I guess you're suggesting proofing your work before putting it out for all too see. The funny ones do get attention, but not the right kind.

Oct 15, 2012 01:57 PM