Headlines

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty Associates

 


 
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think? 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge 
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
Posted by

Erv Fleishman

Realty Associates

561 654 6116

561 988 9525 fax

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Groups:
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Rainmaker
1,044,215
Mark Loewenberg
KW of the Palm Beaches - Palm Beach Gardens, FL
KW 561-214-0370

my fav of you list was: If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile... captain obvious reporting?

Oct 14, 2012 09:38 AM #1
Ambassador
4,097,544
Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Erv- I love these.. and I'm still chuckling.  I like Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over!

Oct 14, 2012 01:25 PM #2
Rainmaker
544,287
Eric Michael
Remerica Integrity, Realtors®, Northville, MI - Livonia, MI
Metro Detroit Real Estate Professional 734.564.1519

Irv, those are some pretty funny headlines. I like the one about red tape being strong enough to hold up a bridge the best!

Oct 16, 2012 10:07 AM #3
Rainmaker
3,303,089
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Erv, this was a well timed post for me to read! Had a crazy day, thank you for the good laugh:)))

Oct 24, 2012 10:04 AM #4
Ambassador
1,517,519
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Thanks for the smiles at the end of a very long day my friend :)

Oct 25, 2012 12:06 PM #5
Rainmaker
5,680,489
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

 

Thanks for adding smiles to our faces.  You should be smiling now that the hurricane has passed your area.

Have an outstanding weekend.

 

Chihuly Exhibit, Virginia Museum of Fine Arts

Oct 27, 2012 01:42 AM #6
Rainmaker
3,550,502
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Los Angeles Pasadena 818.516.4393

Hi Erv -- fun list.  I remember years ago a local television news reporter said "Decapitated woman found, foul play suspected"   You think?   News at 11.  

Oct 27, 2012 03:53 AM #7
Rainmaker
2,051,324
Robert Bob Gilbert
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Anderson Properties - Katy, TX
Your Katy TX ( West of Houston) Real Estate Expert

Rev,

LOL.. Very funny comments and you have to wonder about some of these headlines!! Thanks for sharing..

Oct 27, 2012 09:22 AM #8
Rainmaker
2,857,317
Kathleen Daniels
KD Realty - 408.972.1822 - San Jose, CA
San Jose Homes for Sale-Probate & Trust Specialist

Erv, These are so funny ... it makes you wonder how these ever make it to press. 

Oct 29, 2012 12:20 PM #9
Ambassador
1,241,979
Joni Bailey
101 Main St. Realty - Huntsville, TX
Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR®

BAHahhahahahaHA! My husband wanted to know what was so funny. So I shared with him. Thanks for the laughs!!

Oct 30, 2012 12:50 PM #10
Rainmaker
725,601
Wayne Johnson
Coldwell Banker D'Ann Harper REALTORS® - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio REALTOR, San Antonio Homes For Sale

Erv-Headline writers have great job security I guess. Faux pas, nonsensical leads that sometimes have little relationship to the story and I guess they keep their jobs. Great selection you pulled.

Oct 30, 2012 02:20 PM #11
Rainmaker
504,788
Teral McDowell
Referral Patners LLC - Murphy, TX

You really found some good ones! Thank you for putting a smile on my face.

Oct 30, 2012 02:34 PM #12
Ambassador
1,517,519
John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Appreciate you dropping by my blog tonight.  Hope you're enjoying a grand weekend in all you do.

Nov 03, 2012 01:11 PM #13
Ambassador
4,562,275
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, Keller Williams Fox Cities - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Thanks Erv, great fun and laughs in your extensive collection of headlines and funny quips.

Nov 03, 2012 02:18 PM #14
Rainmaker
1,268,040
Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers
RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage - Brampton, ON
Our Family Wants To Help Your Family!

Those are too funny Erv, but you know, it made us think. How do our headlines read?

Nov 04, 2012 09:36 PM #15
Rainmaker
1,730,003
Rob Thomas
Prestige Homes of The Tri Cities, Inc. CALL....423-341-6954 - Bristol, TN
Bristol TN-VA & Tri Cities Agent, ABR, GRI, e-Pro
Erv ....thanks for the laughs! Have a great night in FL!
Nov 05, 2012 09:19 AM #16
Rainmaker
1,304,554
Charles Stallions Property Manager
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pace, FL
Pensacola, Pace & Gulf Breeze Property Management

Very funny and all good eye catchers, thanks for the laugh. Good luck and Happy Selling

Nov 05, 2012 11:54 AM #17
Rainmaker
821,368
Maureen Bray Portland OR Home Stager ~ Room Solutions Staging
Room Solutions Staging, Portland OR - Portland, OR
"Staging Consultations that Sell Portland Homes"

Jay Leno has his regular feature "Headlines" on Monday nights and it always makes me laugh, much like the ones in your post.

Nov 28, 2012 09:08 AM #18
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Erv Fleishman

Luxury Prop Specialist Realty Associates
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