Am I REALTOR or a therapist?

Real Estate Agent with Samsel & Associates 0790808

Having been a REALTOR for many years, I've become accostomed to having to coach or counsel my buyers and sellers.  Recently it seems I'm being asked by other agents got counsel them as well.

I recieved several calls this weekend from an agent that is representing a buyer who is interested in one of our listings.  The buyer is also the agent's brother.  They submitted a low ball offer which the seller countered with $5,000 off of the list price, but still $45,000 more than the offer.  So now that all that is out there here's how the call sort of went:


Buyer's Agent: Hi Wayne, this is Mary, the agent for the buyer on Maple Street.

Me: What can I do for you Mary?

Mary: My brother really wants the house, but he's not listening to me and he wants to talk to you or the owner directly...  My broker says that he should only deal with me, but he's my little brother and doesnt always listen to me...  I told him not to...  but he really loves the house (insert another 5 minutes of her basically repeating all this and telling me how she's been cut out of deals before.)

After several minutes, I told her to tell her client to rewrite an offer closer to the asking price if he really wants the house, that's the only thing the seller cares about.  


Second phone call from Mary was about 15 minutes later.

Mary: I want to make sure you're not going to cut me out of the deal.

Me: I'm not.

Mary: Because I've been cut out before. Once an agent offered to show my client a property and then when my client liked the property and wrote the offer, the agent didn't give me the commission even though it was my client to start with and I don't think you're going to cut me out of the deal, you seem like a nice guy. But I just want to make sure that my commission is safe with you. Of course we're not just in it for the money, we do this job for lots of other reasons but I still want to get the commission, even though this is my brother we're talking about. Because other agents have cut me out of deals three other times......(15 minute story ensues. I uh-huh a few times but really don't get a word in.)


Third phone call from Mary about 15 minutes after that.

Mary: I want you to know that my brother really loves the house but I'm not sure he can afford it. He's my little brother, you know, and sometimes he makes mistakes and I think it's just my job to protect him. Of course it's not really my job but I tell him all the time that I can't protect him forever, but I can at least help him in this transaction..........


So, when did we become therapists for other agents? I can chew the fat with anyone, but I don't have a therapist's couch in my office for a reason.


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~ Wayne & Jean 

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Janis Borgueta
Key Properties of the Hudson Valley - Newburgh, NY
LIC RE Salesperson

You are not alone.. I too have worn that hat many times over.. and it seems that some people will share just about anything of their personal life and that of their clients. I do find some of the process a bit weird at times.. but Realtors in general are nuturing ... at least in residential. I think some of us, and obviously you guys, bring out that trait in our dealings with others that they tell us everything.. and anything.. LOL. It can be too much information for sure! 

Nov 12, 2012 07:53 PM #1
Jeff Pearl
RE/MAX Distinctive / LIC in VA - Lovettsville, VA
Full Service Full Time Realtor

Wow, not sure that lady should be in real estate? I think we've all been therapist and marriage counselors in theis business. Hope it works out for for all involved.

Nov 12, 2012 08:16 PM #2
Bobbie Smith
Stroudsburg, PA

Guess we have all been there, done that before too. Can be frustrating for sure.  There have been transactions where we felt like we were doing the other agents jobs for them.  If it helps procure an offer for your seller you can boast what a great job you have done.

Nov 12, 2012 08:54 PM #3
Carol Zingone
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Florida Network Realty - Jacksonville Beach, FL
Global Realtor in Jax Beach, FL - ABR, CRS, CIPS
She should not be representing her brother if she can't do it professionally. Her best bet would have been to refer her brother to another agent, and take the referral fee.
Nov 12, 2012 08:55 PM #4
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Wayne and Jean Marie Zuhl

The Last Names You'll Ever Need in Real Estate
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