Count your Turkeys and sleep well . . . (revised for 2012)

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119


It's Thanksgiving Week and for all of the turkeys in our lives, I say we should celebrate.  Let's have a great narcoleptic inducing meal followed by reflections of the turkeys we love to talk about on the Blogosphere and Active Rain.  For instance:

  • The Bloated Price Turkey - full of visions of unconscious buyers just looking for an opportunity to spend 30% more than the market demands.  They will ignore all good reason, a perfect CMA and just plain ole common sense to show they know the market better than the professionals.
  • The Anorexic Turkey- who knows that the 50% off market priced house is out there waiting for them to throw cash at it if their agent could just get his/her act together and find it.  After all, Billie Bob's Pennies on the Dollar Way to Real Estate Wealth Seminar and Trulia and Zillow promised it was there.  So, go find it Realtor!
  • The High Expectations Turkey - who believes a good agent can sell their barn with a simple turn of a phase like, "Spacious country living, cathedral ceilings, views of wildlife and plenty of room to expand.  Open floor plan with original tall solid wood sliding doors and wide plank hardwood floors.  Natural setting."
  • The Low Expectations Turkey - who wants you to drop your commission price and/or give it up completely if they find a buyer. 
  • The Indian Giver Turkey - who thinks you made too much because you marketed his house well and sold it in a week.  Nobody should make that much money in one week.  Give some back!
  • The Too Fat to Move Turkey - who can't clean, landscape, pick up, paint, repair or fix anything because he's too fat to move.  Or at least he acts like he's too fat to move because he never does.
  • The Counter Culture Turkey - who counters every offer no matter how good or how bad it is.  That's the way you play the game, right?  This turkey can't understand why he doesn't have his house under contract.   It must be our bargain hunting culture.
  • The Academic Turkey - who knows everything about your job and is constantly calling and asking why you're not doing . . . . . .
  • The Co-Dependent Turkey - who calls everyday to see how you are, and to share her problems with you.  You become her agent and her therapist. 
  • The Traveling Turkey - who looks at 100 houses only to return to the first one you showed him.  You realize after closing that it cost you $300 more in fuel than your commission check. 
  • The Volcanic Turkey - who blows up every time a buyer/seller asks for any concessions, signatures or even a light.  This buyer/seller is determined to get the deal he wants even if it costs you your sanity.
  • The Vampire Turkey - who plans to suck the sellers dry because he knows they're in trouble financially since they're desperate enough to short sale.  They'll do anything to sell.
  • The Turduckin Turkey - This turkey is a combination of the turkey (see all above), a duck who is never able to make up his mind so he ducks decisions, and a chicken who is afraid he's doing the wrong thing.  No matter how much encouragement you give him, he does nothing.  He looks and looks and looks, but he never pulls the trigger.
  • The Dictator Turkey - who thinks he owns you.  He expects you to jump every time he calls, texts or emails.  Since he's in charge, he expects you to drop everything right now to respond to his wishes.  He gets infuriated if it takes any time to hear from you.
  • The Tender Turkey - who is so happy that you helped him find the house of his dreams that he tells everyone what a great Realtor you are, and he makes sure he lets you know. 

So, as drift off into a food induced coma, count the turkeys in your life and have a good nap.  Happy Thanksgiving!


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Winston Heverly
Winston Realty, Inc. - Atlantis, FL

That's great a little ingenuous twist of the characters on each deal.

Nov 21, 2012 10:41 PM #1
Lanise Warrior-Johnson
Real Estate Brokers Services, Inc. - Compton, CA
Real Estate Specialist

Love, Love, LOVE This blog!  I have a few of these Turkeys, on my platter, if you will.  It's good to find humor in these staple client personality types!  Have an enjoyable Thanksgiving!

Nov 21, 2012 10:41 PM #2
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Winston.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Thank you, Lanise.  Make sure you cook them thoroughly.


Nov 21, 2012 10:43 PM #3
Nathan Rufty - Home Loans at 909-503-5600
Mountain West Financial, Inc - Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Mortgage Professional / Home Loans / Direct Lender
Happy thanksgiving
Nov 21, 2012 10:43 PM #4
Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Hi Mike - Funny post - it would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so true - all of these turkeys except one are pretty much guaranteed to leave you with a bad case of heartburn and a nervous tic to go along with your exhaustion. Have a great day!

Nov 21, 2012 10:48 PM #5
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

So that's where that tic came from.  I thought it was neurological, but these turkey clients make more sense.  8-)  Have a great Thanksgiving. 

Nov 21, 2012 10:53 PM #6
Roger D. Mucci
Shaken...with a Twist 216.633.2092 - Euclid, OH
Lets shake things up at your home today!

Only you Mike, only you!  I love it!  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours............make it a wonderful day.

Nov 21, 2012 11:02 PM #7
Debbie Reynolds
Platinum Properties - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

Oh Mike you made me laugh so. Happy Thanksgiving to you and all the turkeys in the world.

Nov 21, 2012 11:04 PM #8
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Roger.  Have a great day with Mickey!

Thank you, Debbie.  Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Nov 21, 2012 11:11 PM #9
Wallace S. Gibson, CPM
Gibson Management Group, Ltd. - Charlottesville, VA

I passed on a HIGH MAINTENANCE/low reward TURKEY owner last felt SO GOOD!

Nov 21, 2012 11:24 PM #10
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Good for you, Wallace.  Some turkey is just hard to swallow.

Nov 21, 2012 11:34 PM #11
Jerry Newman
Brown Realty, 210-789-4216, - San Antonio, TX
Texas REALTOR, San Antonio Military Relocation

Hi Mike, LOL, That's a lot of ways to have Turkey today. I just wanted to stop by to wish you and your Family a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Nov 22, 2012 01:06 AM #12
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Jerry.  I hope you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving too! 

Nov 22, 2012 01:52 AM #13
Andrea Bedard
Thompson Company, REALTORS® - Silver Spring, MD
M.A.; REALTOR® Silver Spring, MD and beyond

Yep, I laughed out loud all the way through Mike. Funny way to describe the different buyers turkeys out there, I've come across quite a few. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Nov 22, 2012 02:01 AM #14
Karen Baker
Sunset Beach and Beyond Realty - Sunset Beach, NC
Professional Help with Rapid Responses...

Mike ~> I'll take a truckful of those Tender Turkeys and line them up for next year! You can keep the rest of them.

Nov 22, 2012 04:22 AM #15
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Hello Mike,

Very cute, very clever....gobble, gobble, gobble - I hope that you and yours are enjoying a Happy Thanksgiving!

Nov 22, 2012 06:29 AM #16
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

Oh, I've known some of those turkeys but I could always use more of the tender one.

Nov 22, 2012 11:30 AM #17
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Hi Mike.  Who knew there was such a choice of lousy turkeys?

Nov 22, 2012 07:28 PM #18
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Mike Cooper

Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro
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