Every year I start out the same way, writing down what I need to change about myself. I start with really good intentions and then my mid-February I have” resolutioned” myself out and am back to my same world order.
But this year, because my son was sick, I was able to spend New Year’s Eve in my house where it was quiet and I was able to do some real thinking, analyzing and reviewing. And, what I found is that for all of my struggles and challenges I faced in 2012, almost all of them could have been avoided if I had listened to my inner self and been kinder to me.
As I flashed back, I realized that during those times I had a “feeling” I should be doing something differently but chose to follow my head and not my heart. Or, I just worried too much about what the other person may feel as a result of my decision. By positioning someone’s motives and feelings above my own, my own feelings got pushed down. I don’t mean to sound over the top but for me repeating this same process over and over and over again has led me to the end of 2012 mentally and physically tired. And when you are tired, there is no way for growth to happen.
So, instead of writing resolutions this year, I am going to try to live by two basic principles. Every day, I will be honest with myself and I will be kinder to me. It’s that simple. Honest and kind. That’s it.
I have tried this a few times already in December. I was supposed to be going out-of-town for the Holidays and I kept thinking in my spirit that I shouldn’t go. But, I was worried that my Maryland family would be disappointed. As time came to leave, I simply was honest with myself and didn’t take the trip. The night after we were supposed to have arrived in Maryland my son woke with a very high temperature. All I kept thinking was, “Wow, so glad I was honest to myself and my family.” And by doing so, I saved myself the heartache of having to take care of a sick child while traveling.
Being kinder to me means loving me. There is an adage that you can’t love anyone unto you love yourself. It’s so true. If I am honest with myself, in return I will be kinder to myself. If I love myself, I will do those things that will allow me to have more quiet times. I will eat right because I love myself. If I am kind to me, I will learn to say “No.”
Sometimes life gets out of control. But, this year, I will arm myself with two very important questions:
1) How do I honestly feel about this situation, event and person?
2) Am I treating myself fairly and being kind to my body, my time and my feelings?
Here’s to happy days, quiet nights and the strength to handle everything in-between in 2013!
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